Post # 47
@Kir32: Lots of people have a civil ceremony and then a big vow renewal with their family and friends- I think think that’s great! But I think lying about it is deceitful, and if she wasn’t asahmed, she would be forthcoming about it instead of covering it up. Personally, a good friend of mine did it (her parents knew and 2 of her friends including me knew- not even all her bridesmaids), and when it came out, it totally blew up in her face because (oddly) people who are close to you don’t appreciate being lied to and it permanently damaged (or ended) many relationships. I think OP has the right to make that decision, and I have the right to point out it may turn out very badly and at least warn her actions may hurt many people.
Post # 48
@strawbabies: and these poss make me feel like it’ll still feel like a honeymoon, as I am sure it will be for you! Even though it’s been quite sometime since the wedding, it’ll be the first time you guys get to go “away” and celebrate, relax, and reminisce. I think that’s what honeymoons are. You’re first time away, alone, as a married couple… But clearly my definitions have been wrong before.
Anyway, I hope its everything you dreamed of and more.
Post # 49
OP so sorry everyone is jumping on you, that totally sucks 🙁 I wish women would be less judgmental and more supportive. As to your honeymoon, we’re also delaying ours, mainly because i’ve been unwell and between lost wages and medical expenses we have t been able to build any savings. We’ve decided to spend a couple of nights away at a local spa retreat town and then do the trip to Thailand we’d been planning later in the year. Poor FH was stressing that I’d be super disappointed but I think it’s the perfect solution to our dilemma 🙂
Post # 50
@graste: We wanted about 4 months to take our honeymoon. It was fantastic and I wouldnt have had it any other way. Our situation was a bit different because we had a destination wedding. So technically, we were on a “mini-honeymoon” as we had our own condo all week. Enjoy whatever you decide 🙂
Post # 51
I would take a day or two directly after the wedding and plan the larger “honeymoon” for later.
The quality time you spend together after your ceremony are one of the fondest memories you’ll have!
Post # 52
@HeartsandSparkles: And I think you, and others, have warned her. The OP seems excited to have her family and friends celebrate with her. She isn’t intending to be deceitful and cruel. Harping on the fact that you think it’s going to turn out badly isn’t helpful.
Post # 53
@HeartsandSparkles: wow harsh much? who cares what she calls it, it’s not like you’re going!
and anyways the mirriam webster dictionary defines a wedding as:
1 : a marriage ceremony usually with its accompanying festivities : nuptials
2: an act, process, or instance of joining in close association
3: a wedding anniversary or its celebration —usually used in combination wedding>
I’m pretty sure her wedding sounds like like definitions 2 and 3, so who is delusional now?
also it is super insulting to insist that because a couple wants a wedding after being legally married they just want a “princess” party. I’ve been to weddings where there was no legal marriage, and I’ve been to weddings where they have already been legally married and want to celebrate and stand up in front of their friends and famiies and commit to each other. I have not gotten my panties in a bunch over this becase frankly I’m just excited to see people I love celebrating a commitiment to each other.
Post # 54
@graste: Oh, we ARE really excited…though we have yet to officially book the trip! Lol. Our excitement about our delayed honeymoon comes from the obvious reasons to be excited for a honeymoon (i.e., an opportunity to hang out with one another, relax, sunbathe, take pictures, eat lots and lots of food, and drink cocktails!) aaaannd because after our honeymoon marks baby-making time! 🙂 Yaaaay! If anything, we’re probaby way more pumped up and excited for the honeymoon than had we just gone straight from the wedding! 🙂
Post # 55
@goingtotherooftopoflove: I hope you get well soon. I think that is the sweetest thing, yet the hardest to witness, when your husband, Fiance or SO is concerned about your disappointment. that would make me love him more! Thank you also for the encouragement. I have come across some charities that will assist in making these sorts of things happen, but I’m not certain if they are extended internationally. Google!
Post # 56
@jenilynevette: I can imagine. Going through photos, messages, cards, etC. Together must be really special.
Post # 57
@moonbear17 @Kir32: thank you ladies so much 🙂 We really do just want to share how much we love with everyone who loves us.
Post # 58
@LBeeLove: the anticipation!!! The baby-making, unfortunately, is one thing we have to watch. With the job it has to be planned. Which totally sucks.
Post # 59
@graste: I don’t expect “people” but absolutely expect our parents to help, whether it be time, financial, or otherwise… For Christ sakes what person who has a great familial relationship wouldn’t expect help from their parents?! I don’t know what broken homes or crazy relationships you women have with your parents but we don’t. An expectation certainly doesn’t mean that I am not grateful.
It is rude to expect ANYONE to pay for ANYTHING. If you have a wonderful relationship with your family then they may OFFER, but it is still impolite to expect people to pay for a party/trip for you. It is even worse form to ASK them to pony up the money.
it will still be a honeymoon to us
Words have meaning. You don’t get to use words in a way that they are not defined, and then claim you meant some other made up meaning. From Meriam Webster dictionary;
: a trip or vacation taken by a newly married couple
This trip will be taken almost one year after your wedding (again with your creative interpretation of words, you may disagree). Regardless of what you call it, you are not a newly married couple. So it cannot be a honeymoon. A wedding celebration trip, the first trip taken and Mr. and Mrs, sure. A honeymoon, no.
We aren’t even accepting gifts and aren’t registered anywhere.
So if someone brings you a gift you are going to throw it back in their face, and say get this out of here? I doubt it very much. It is polite to accept any gift given to you. As for not soliciting gifts, um….good job not being a total rude boor?
I think you need to toughen up. You are actively deceiving your guests, and asking other people to pay for trips for you. I don’t know what kind of response you were expecting. As for the tone, you impart the tone. My original post was factual and with no snark intended.
Post # 61
Tag team cyber bullying, how pathetic.