(Closed) HONEYMOON AS GIFT REGISTRY???

posted 5 years ago in Honeymoons
Post # 2
Member
9578 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

This is always a debate on the bee, but to me its uncouth/rude to ask for money even if it’s cutely packaged as snorkelling or whatever. Everyone knows people like getting $$$ lots of people do it anyway. If you don’t register, people will get the hint.

You could consider a small registry of items if you’re having a shower so you don’t end up with random stuff.  

Post # 3
Member
47380 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
FutureMrsCaldwell:  If you do a search here on WeddingBee, you will find lots of posts about Honeymoon Funds.

The reason I would never donate to a honeymoon fund, is that the company takes a percentage of donations. If I thought a wedding gift was meant to pay for your honeymoon, I would just write you a check.

Post # 5
Member
2171 posts
Buzzing bee

I saw on here too about how they were shunned. However, when I asked my friends on facebook, a lot of couple did that and said their guests loved doing it and they really enjoyed it as well. You know what you feel comfortable with and what you guest feel comfortable doing. 

Post # 6
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m always surprised at how many people are against a honeymoon fund. We did a “honeymoon” registry. Many of our friends had done it, and we liked it a lot when they did it. We were also temprorarily relocating to another continent (for work) for 6 months 2 days after the wedding, so receiving a lot of material items wasn’t very practical. 70% of our guests were traveling to attend our wedding, so we made it very clear on the website that gifts were in no way expected.

Guests loved our honeymoon registry. They felt like they could share in our adventure of moving to another country. Even a year later, people still ask me about all the trips we had on there, and tell me how much they liked the idea. We sent post cards from as our thank you cards.

We did still create a very small registry at a brick and motar chain store, because there are some wedding guests (usually those who are older), that are not very tech saavy and firmly believe they need to pick out a nice serving plate or hand towels from the store down the road. 

We used Zola as out honeymoon registry site and liked it very much. 

I think not having any type of registry would create stress for those guests that feel giving money isn’t appropriate or isn’t very personal. 

Post # 7
Member
31 posts
Newbee

I don’t understand the logic of “it’s rude to ask people for money, even if it’s the form of [honeymoon activity here]”. Isn’t asking for overpriced kitchen gadgets from Crate and Barrel on your registry still asking for money?

Yes, those websites do take part of the $, but it also costs money to employ developers and other employees, pay for servers, etc.

For what it’s worth, it’s perfectly normal in other countries to just give cash. 

Post # 8
Member
7892 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We had a small wedding and no registry because of similar reasons. We got a mix of no gifts, monetary gifts, and tangible gifts. Most of the tangible gifts were pretty thoughtful, so it wasn’t a big deal. 

We did consider recommending a charity donation, but I didn’t like the subtle political statement associated with charity organizations. 

Post # 9
Member
339 posts
Helper bee

We did honeyfund as our registry and it worked well. People knew we didn’t need much and pledged amounts that they later made cheques for and dropped off at the money at the wedding along with cards. On our website we just put a link to our honeyfund and that’s it.  It’s no ruder than asking for a mixer or pots and pans

Post # 10
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t like honeymoon registries at all. 

*If you’re so financially stable as you said, why can’t you two pay for your own trip?

*Gifts for a wedding are supposed to get you started in your marriage, not for a plane ticket to get out of town.

*If you’re honeymooning right after the wedding, guests know you have to pre-purchase.. so essentially you’re asking them to pay you back.

*Why not upgrade everything you have?  My fiance and I also live together but we got a way better knife set (and I looove cooking with them now), a beautiful spice rack, luxurious bed linens and towels, etc.  If you can’t upgrade, then no registry and people will give you cash.  Which you can then use toward your honeymoon…

Post # 11
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I know this is a controversial topic on here, but many of the people in my area have done a honeymoon registry and we’re doing one as well. So far, the guests seem to love it and I’ve got nothing but nice words about it. There were some older people who gave us physical gifts at my first shower (out of state, given by my Future Mother-In-Law so I can meet some more of the family), but we definitely still expected some regular gifts. It seems like the younger crowd really takes a liking to the honeymoon registries whereas the older people are either indifferent or flat out don’t like it, but from my area those people are few and far between. I guess it just depends on your area and maybe the age of your guests. 

Post # 12
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

View original reply
MrsBuesleBee:  I totally agree with this. People will get the hint and usually give $ if you have no registery and you can use that towards your wedding. My good friend actually asked for money “in cute nice little words” on her wedding invite. I thought it was mega rude and I would feel SO AWKWARD doing that and never would but I didn’t tell her. We are also hoping for $ for our honeymoon since we are in the same situation and have most of what we need..have lived together for 3 years..etc. I feel rude enough giving people the resort’s phone # to book their room that they have to pay for to come lol.

Post # 13
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
FutureMrsCaldwell:  I did a honeymoon fund because I need no household goods and people would not take no gifts for an answer. I had range of experiences from $10 ( Nutella crepes at the Eiffel Tower )to $100 ( upgrade to first class on the bullet train from Paris to Barcelona). of the people who gave gifts, more than half used the registry and the rest gave us cash. The people who did the registry seemed to really like the “experiences” they gave us – and we really did go on those “experiences”. We only got one physical gift – A ninja bullet blender. I’m donating it to Goodwill.

Post # 14
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
SaraJeanQ:  I’m doing a small tangible gift registry and a honeymoon registery. I don’t think it’s out of line at all to give guests the option to create a memorable honeymoon experience for you and with you. We are financially stable enough to pay for it ourself but wanted to give guests the option to share in the adventure if they so pleased. No one is forcing anyone’s hand to buy either a tangible or intangible honeymoon gift, that is 100% up to the guest. We are taking this time to upgrade a few items if guests feel like bestowing us with a new blender or dish set, but we’ve been together for 5 years and lived together for 4 years. We don’t need much at this point and we are between apartment living and buying a home–space is an issue. Our take on it is, some people actually enjoying gifting a memory more than a toaster that will break in 6 months. I see nothing wrong with supplying guests with the option. I’d rather gift someone an experience any day!

Post # 15
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
Melly319:  A rose is still a rose by any other name.  No matter how pretty you put it, “create a memorable honeymoon experience” / “share in the adventure” / etc. = pay for our vacation.

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