(Closed) HONEYMOON AS GIFT REGISTRY???

posted 5 years ago in Honeymoons
Post # 31
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m all for the honeyfund. We are doing a honeyfund for our registry. Like the pp said, my fiance (lead senior network engineer) and l (accountant) have already bought everything we need for our household. Plus, since we live in Miami and all of our family and friends are in Texas (where we’re getting married), we didn’t want to have to pay expensive shipping fees to ship all of the gifts back. I personally don’t see a difference in the guests purchasing “housewares” and purchasing “wine tasting in Santorini.” 😉

Post # 32
Member
956 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s a wonderful idea. I really dont get people that think money is tacky or whatever the hell else… if it helps the couple in the current or future life then what is the issue?? If anything I love when a couple requests cash because then I know for sure my gift will be appreciated and above all, helpful. I always think the anti-cashers are just annoyed they can’t get a sale item without looking cheap..

As for going to a wedidng and not giving a gift, now that is tacky

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by  sugarcloud.
Post # 33
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

I think it is a great idea and considering it myself. There is nothing you are going to do or ask without SOMEONE not agreeing. Don’t let it bother you! I don’t know many people personally who would be offended at all about asking for money for a honeymoon. It’s ok to ask for expensive household items, but not experiences? Doesn’t make any sense to me. Those physical items are going to compare in no way to the experiences you and your SO share and I think it is a great idea to have others contribute to that versus the items in your kitchen you MIGHT pull out onces a year. If people are getting you stuff anyway, might as well make it something memorable. That’s how I look at it.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by  Ele88.
Post # 34
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I really don’t see the difference between a honeymon registry and writing a check.  So I would just write you a check.  Save yourself the hassle! 

And set up a very small,traditional registry if you have a shower.

Post # 35
Member
9108 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I just don’t see the point in the subterfuge. Just don’t register and when someone asks about gift say “we have everything we need but we are saving for a new house/new roof/deck/pool/honeymoon. 

Anyone who is set on giving you a physical gift will do so and won’t be fooled by a buy me a dinner ruse. And you run the risk of alienating those who usually give cash (by tricking them into it or rudely asking). 

80% of people in the world give cash gifts if there is no registry. Why complicate things with honeymoon funds (who just cut you a cheque anyway)?

Post # 36
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

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sugarcloud:  Suggesting that people who don’t just write checks are cheap and stingy is kind of an unattractive sentiment.  You know, some of us don’t like to receive cash and would rather give nice household items (or whatever) because we see cash as a patronizing gift.  Personally, I am embarrassed when people give me cash gifts.  If someone insists on giving me something, I would much rather prefer a note or something small, but sentimental.

Post # 37
Member
956 posts
Busy bee

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MarriedToMyWork:  I didnt say that people who dot give cheques are cheap or stingy, i said people who go to a wedding without any gift are tacky, and Im sorry but I stand by that. If a grown adult isnt able to manage their finances to the point where they feel comfortable attending a wedding empty handed then that’s not cool in my mind. But each to their own.

I also meant that if a couple had requested that the cash you would have put towrds a gift be instead given to them to combine and use to their liking but a guest would rather stomp their feet and give what the would prefer for themelves, then it makes me question with what sentiment the gift is given in. To me it’s about making the couple happy not imposing my own attitude about cash being “patronizing”, clearly if they have requested it they dont share that feeling. If you dont like cash no problem request gifts at your own wedding, but atlest allow the couple to make the same choice.

Post # 38
Member
239 posts
Helper bee

I think they are awesome and will probally have one, or a housefund which I think is even more useful and my very practical father would love. As for people not liking them, no problem I understand disagreeing but I don’t undertsnad the hate or screaming “tacky”. It’s a registry, suggesting gifts, just like a store registry. Everyone I’ve met gives money anyway.

Post # 39
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

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MrsO9252015:  couldn’t agree more. I think people feel duped when the bride and groom don’t use the funds for the experience you paid for. I had a friend that did a cash registry for a house. They are still living in an apartment a year later with no plans to buy a house. 

On my honeymoon registry I placed items like spa, or drinks by the pool. We aren’t asking for anyone to pay our airfare or hotel stay, but thought people might enjoying knowing we create memories with the cash they gave us. They will have a direct impact on our honeymoon. And I don’t think a honeymoon registry is about “we can’t afford a vacation so buy it for us”. To me those memories will last longer than the serving dish I’ll bust out 2 times a year. We can afford our honeymoon without help from family or friends, but thought letting guests gift us an experience might be fun as well. Regardless of anyone giving us cash, or paying for an experience off our registry we will still have an amazing honeymoon.

Plus, I think it’s better to write a thank you card for an amazing private dinner on the beach they contributed to verses, thanks for thr cash. Why would I want to pack my household with more items I don’t need? I get some people feel it’s tacky, but I’d rather give the bride and groom something I know they want and feel like I’m part of the experience than just hand over cash. 

Post # 40
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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FutureMrsCaldwell:  It’s extremely tacky to ask for money.

Post # 41
Member
377 posts
Helper bee

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FutureMrsCaldwell:  We did it. In Italy honeymoon registries are very popular. I’ve never heard of someone complaining or considering it in bad taste. If you’re my guest and you’re not willing to accept my desires for the wedding, then don’t even ask.

Post # 42
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Our honeymoon registry consists of things we won’t purchase until on the honeymoon, like massages, food and drink, museum admissions etc. Stayed away from entries like hotel or airfare contributions. If anyone gets us something from the honeymoon registry, we plan to send them a picture of us enjoying their contribution with the thank you note, though maybe not the exact moment in the case of a massage ;). 

As a guest I’ve enjoyed contributing to honeymoon registries in the past. Even though I know it is just giving money, I like to know what fun stuff people have planned for their honeymoon. It feels less perfunctory than writing a check.

That being said, even if our entire honemoon registry is purchased, it won’t come anywhere near the amount that we are spending on the wedding. I don’t think it’s apropriate or realistic to expect to recoup your costs via gifts, even if you secretly hope it works out that way.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by  xiaopeng.
Post # 43
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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Melly319:  I can understand everyone feeling duped with what your friend did. Fortunately for my SO and I, our guests won’t have to worry about that as we’ve already booked our Greek Isles honeymoon. What we haven’t purchased yet are the tours we’d like to do, the dinners and wine tasting, the boat rides to the black sand beaches, etc. That way, for the guests that would like to gift us, they’ll be gifting something much more useful than some kitchen gadgets that we truly don’t need.

My SO is a HUGE, HUGE poker player and a couple of years ago, he was playing like twice a week and winning very often. My consolation prize for him being away for so long would be if he won, he’d buy me a “prize” too. (I am a total foodie and I love love love the Food Network.) Well, considering 2 of my FAVORITE stores are Sur La Table and Williams Sonoma, I have more than enough kitchen gadgets. So if we were to register at a brick and mortor store, our list wouldn’t be that long anyways. My point being, if guests truly wanted to “assist the newlyweds” the best way to do so for us would be through the honeymoon. 😊

Post # 45
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

We used a great site in Australia called travelregistry and we paid the upfront fees for it. They didn’t keep any of the funds our guests spent – which was a deciding factor for us on who to use. We figured if guests were buying us a gift then we could pay any fees. We had 90% of people us it and buy us bike hire or dinner out or put towards airfares. our guests loved being able to select an activity for us. 

 

It obviously depends on your circle of friends and family. I  personally hate the wishing wells. every $$ we got is in a seperate account ready for the honeymoon – and we will be spending it how people intended When they gave it. 

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