Post # 1
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
Hey! Hope all of you are well.
So my fiance and I have been trying to plan a small wedding for this summer, most likely June 2019. We haven’t set an exact date yet b/c he’s not a citizen of my country, and we’re waiting for his residency application to finish going through so that he doesn’t have to restart the process (he submitted his application spring 2018, but our marriage would make it so that he’d have to get a whole different visa and then reapply, which would take around 18-24 months- so we definitely are going to wait to legally certify our marriage until after that is processed).
However, in the midst of this, we are struggling a bit with planning things. Both of us are young and don’t have a ton of money at the moment. We are aiming for a casual ceremony with just immediate family and close friends (it would end up around 20-30 guests), then going out to dinner with everyone *or* having a casual reception at a family member’s house. The important thing about the ceremony to us is that our loved ones are there.:)
Getting around to the honeymoon/pre-moon bit- we know thatwe definitely want to go on a trip together, and have picked a location and everything. However, the cheapest/most affordable tickets are in late May and early June- after that, the prices go up until they have *doubled* by July. Would it be bad if we went as a pre-moon before our wedding? Or if we perhaps did the legal bit either right before leaving/did it on our honeymoon/pre-moon, and then had a “reception” ceremony with our loved ones? We’ve talked about it, and since neither of us are religious, we’re not tied to the order of things too much, but i wanted to know what other people thought? We would not present the ceremony as us “getting married” if we had already been legally married, just to be clear; we would just have a casual ceremony almost like “renewing” our vows and/or just going out to eat w/ loved ones.
tldr; We have an uncertain wedding date due to visa issues. What are your thoughts on going on our honeymoon before having an official ceremony/reception and/or doing the legal marriage certificate before/during the honeymoon and having a small ceremony and reception after we get back?
Post # 2
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
Go on a romantic vacation before if you want. I do think there is something nice about going after the wedding but my honeymoon was ruined with illness so I’m not too sentimental about the whole thing lol.
You’ve made sure he can leave the country while his Visa stuff is being settled, yeah? Wouldn’t want your pre-moon to void his application..
Post # 3
Member
3486 posts
Sugar bee
Is there another month after July that is cheaper? We waited 5 months after the wedding to take our honeymoon, that’s what I would recommend in your situation. Otherwise it’s more of just a pre wedding trip, not a honeymoon. Especially if the visa timelines are uncertain I would wait a few extra months to take your honeymoon.
Post # 4
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
do it! if you want to go to the court before and do a quick elopment go for it! i like any idea of vacation and saving money.
Post # 5
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
bluestaples : Itd be a vacation, not a honeymoon.
Post # 6
Member
4819 posts
Honey bee
I mean, they are called vacations. A honeymoon is a vacation going by another name. You’re an adult – You can go on vacation any time you want. Do whatever works for you.
Post # 7
Member
1599 posts
Bumble bee
Up to you. Some honeymoon perks aren’t available without proof of marriage.
Post # 8
Member
9986 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
Go on whatever vacation you want, but it’s not a honeymoon if it’s before your wedding.
Post # 9
Member
2596 posts
Sugar bee
bluestaples : You can go on vacation whenever you want. But what you can’t do is coin some new phrase to fit your needs. It’s not a honeymoon and pre-moons don’t exist. You don’t need to do a honeymoon immediately following the wedding save up more money and take your honeymoon later… or go on vacation before… whatever. You guys are adults.
Post # 10
Member
6176 posts
Bee Keeper
I say call it whatever you want. If you can get it for less, go for it.
Post # 11
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
Yea you would be on vacation. Your honeymoon would have perks to it. Just hold off until you guys can afford it.
Post # 12
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
nikkiv1313 : … why be such a downer? Why try to impose your unnecessary thoughts on how you believe things should be that don’t affect you whatsoever?
I took my honeymoon two weeks before the wedding due to work obligations. It most certainly was a honeymoon, and felt just like I thought it would! Not all people have the luxury of taking vacations whenever they please. Your honeymoon is whenever you choose for it to be. Don’t even worry about changing the wedding, you just do you!!
Don’t let trolls tell you that your honeymoon wouldn’t be a “real honeymoon” because of timing, that’s just absurd. Tell anyone who makes these comments to you to get a life and mind their own business.
You guys will have a fabulous time no matter when you choose to go, so just don’t stress, and enjoy it!
Congrats xo
Post # 14
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
macpartyoftwo : “Why try to impose your unnecessary thoughts on how you believe things should be that don’t affect you whatsoever?”
A troubling trend I see in social media is that someone’s thoughts and opinions are deemed “unnecessary” if they don’t align with someone’s opinion. Nearly every post on this website has to do with something that doesn’t affect the commenter. OP asked for our thoughts, so we are giving them.
I hate to be a “downer” and don’t often take issue with what other people do, but I’m going to agree with PP that this isn’t really a honeymoon. The point of the honeymoon is to be the first vacation the couple takes as a married couple – originally, most likely the first solo vacation they’d take at all. I get that things are different and most people (including myself!)don’t do every step in order, but the distinguishing feature of a honeymoon is that it’s taken (immediately or relatively soon) after a wedding. Words have meanings, and when you take away the fundamental feature and raison d’etre of a honeymoon, it becomes…a vacation.
Now if OP or anyone else wants to say “Well I want to do it MY way!!” and to hell with everyone else, then you do you, obv. But you can’t and shouldn’t expect everyone to get on board or support that viewpoint (including the places that offer honeymoon discounts). I wouldn’t say anything to the bride and groom, but I would side-eye the hell out of a pre-wedding honeymoon if it happened in my circle. And that’s my opinion – because OP asked for it.
Post # 14
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
I don’t know what amazing perks people are talking about that they got on their honeymoon. I think we got a free dessert one day, big deal.
Post # 15
Member
1452 posts
Bumble bee
Enjoy your vacation. It’s not a pre-honeymoon. It’s a romantic get away with you and your soon to be husband.