Post # 1
My fiance’s cousin’s wedding is exactly 2 weeks after our wedding. Both of our weddings are in September of 2014 so there’s a lot of time before the big day. Fiance and I were planning to go away for 2 weeks to Italy for our honeymoon, which would cause us to miss his cousin’s wedding! We don’t want to shorten our honeymoon considering travel time and the many places we want to squeeze in those 2 weeks. I feel badly about this situation and I don’t know what to do!
Do you guys think it would be wrong to miss his cousin’s wedding because we are away on our honeymoon? Please help!
Post # 3
could you postpone your honey moon three weeks..
Post # 4
Who set their date first? How close is he to his cousin? If they set their date already knowing that yours would be two weeks before, I don’t think they could really be surprised or upset that you’ll be on your honeymoon and can’t make it. But if they set their date and then you guys decided to do yours two weeks before…then I think maybe you should at least think about changing your honeymoon dates.
Post # 5
I’m assuming you haven’t actually booked the honeymoon yet. How long have you known about the cousin’s wedding?
I wouldn’t worry about it TOO much, as you already ‘had plans’, BUT if you’ve known about the wedding long enough to plan accordingly, the cousin might be disappointed. What does your Fiance say? Does he know his cousin well enough to gauge her reaction?
I’m very close with my oldest cousin, and would move mountains to be at his wedding, BUT if for whatever reason I couldn’t, he would totally be chill about it and not be upset…just the type of person he is…
Post # 6
How are we supposed to answer this? It’s completely up to you guys and your relationship with your cousin. We are missing two weddings while we are on our honeymoon. The bride and groom understand completely.
Post # 7
@wonderstruck: Fiance and I got engaged first and set our date first. They were shortly engaged after and set their date following.
@jfay: Fiance is neither close or distant to his cousin. They keep in touch now and then and see each other at family functions. He thinks it’s unfortunate and puts our honeymoon first, but I’m worried it may cause some family drama? We can’t postpone the honeymoon because of our conflicting work schedules.
Post # 8
since postponing is not an option just declined
Post # 9
Don’t worry about it, I think everyone will understand. It doesn’t sound like they’re so close that it is going to cause an issue. Also in general I think guys (not sure if your FIs cousin is a man/woman) have less of a tendancy to stir up drama about these types of things.
Post # 10
@RoseGoldBride: In that case, I wouldn’t worry about it. Send your regrets that you can’t change your honeymoon dates and send a nice gift.
Post # 11
Thanks for the feedback everyone. I was just trying to determine what the right thing to do is, and if anyone encountered the same conflict. I guess it will have to work itself out and if we have to decline, then we will.
Post # 12
We can’t postpone the honeymoon because of our conflicting work schedules. ：（
Post # 13
Send your regrets and go on your honeymoon. It is just a wedding. Yep, I said that. So far 3 time MOB here. A wedding is the most important thing on earth to the couple, not their guest list and that is as it should be.
Of course we want to attend weddings of family and friends, but you also have a life. Your love and support has NO bearing on whether or not you attend someone’s wedding. It is a one day party. It really is. It is the day the couple commits themselves to each other, but for everyone else, it is a social date on their calendar.
Go on your honeymoon and have a wonderful time. I would never expect one of my nieces or nephews to rearrange their lives or honeymoon plans for one of my girls’ weddings. We will see them at Christmas and show them pics if they like!
Post # 14
I don’t think going on your honeymoon and missing a cousin’s wedding would cause family drama. A sibling? Yes. A cousin? No.
Post # 15
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
If it were me, I’d probably just do a slightly shortened honeymoon – 11 or 12 days instead of 14. And to be honest, I’d probably understand but still side-eye my cousin if s/he didn’t cut their honeymoon short a couple days to come to my wedding. But I am pretty tight with my cousins despite seeing them only once or twice a year.
Post # 16
@RoseGoldBride: I had exactly this situation, although she got her ring first. We had picked our date and venue before she got engaged and booked long before she did (3 months before). We’d long since agreed to go on a long honeymoon (nearly 4 weeks) so we couldn’t be at her wedding and sent a video message from our tropical island the day before her wedding.
She didn’t come to our wedding either because she ended up being too busy and too broke. When it comes down to it, it’s sad but I don’t feel like I missed out (although I vainly think that she did because our wedding was AWESOME).