(Closed) Honeymoon even if technically we arent married???? Long sorry :(

posted 5 years ago in Honeymoons
  • poll: ?
    Honeymoon in december : (7 votes)
    24 %
    'Honeymoon' in june : (22 votes)
    76 %
  • Post # 3
    103 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I would go in June. Even if you weren’t having the religious ceremony before then, I don’t see a problem with going on your honeymoon at the most convenient time.

    Post # 5
    2286 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Central Park

    I think that it won’t feel emotionally as special if you honeymoon before you actually get married. I think that you should honeymoon once you’re married so that you can enjoy that just-got-married buzz. Otherwise it’s just a romantic vacation.

    Post # 7
    2555 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    if you’re religious, and you’re gonna be religiously married… fly ahead!

    Post # 8
    2286 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Central Park

    Can you not honeymoon in December? Where did you want to go?

    Post # 11
    9952 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here… lol

    Ok, for the record, there is nothing wrong with having TWO Ceremonies, when there is good reason to do so…

    Such as a Military Posting, Health Reasons, or Family in two places (like yours) and travel isn’t a possibility

    For some that is a Courthhouse Wedding & Church Ceremony… (so one for Govt Reasons & one for Religious Reasons)… OR in a few cases where two countries are involved, they can both be Church Weddings.

    So from that angle, you are in the clear as far as Etiquette goes.

    What does matter is what you call them.  The first is a Wedding / Marriage Ceremony.  The second is a Vow Renewal.

    Traditionally a Vow Renewal is held at a significant point in time in the relationship… say 10 years, 20, 25, etc.

    The exception is for cases as I outlined above, when it is acceptable to have the Vow Renewal (Wedding # 2) closer together for valid reasons. And in that case, you can make # 2 as big and elaborate as you wish (altho it is considered inappropriate to have a Bachelorette Party before Wedding # 2, as you aren’t a Bachelorette any longer)

    Where Etiquette disagrees on this practice of having 2 Wedding Ceremonies, is when someone chooses to have two big showy Weddings… just because.  And the shorter time frame that they are together… ala Celine Dion for example… the worse that tends to appear.

    Now that we’ve covered that **

    You honestly can take your Honeymoon whenever you wish… be that after Wedding # 1 or # 2.  Personally, I’d choose whichever one works the best with your vacation time off, and where you’d like to go weatherwise etc.

    Hope this helps,

    ** Still don’t understand WHY you said the paperwork is difficult (maybe you could explain further).  Today most countries easily recognize Weddings in other countries.  In actuality, what you could run into is the 2nd Country not wanting to marry you in a full-on Ceremony again and recording the Wedding Legally because “You are already married” (albeit to each other). 

    You really really need to double-check all this paperwork / legal stuff… cause I know Bees have found that issues can pop up even for the simplest of situations in regards to getting a Marriage License and permission to marry from the Jurisdiction.. be that the Govt aspects or the Religious ones.  And well it would super-suck to get heavily into the Planning Process to discover that “your vision” and the one that states whether you can marry or not don’t line up


    Post # 13
    14658 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    What a “honeymoon” comes down to is just a fancy name for a vacation in my opinion.  Take it whenever it’s most convient, whether you’re technically married or not, if you want to call the trip after a religious cermony a honeymoon, go for it!  Some people wait until the following year to go on their “honeymoon”… it’s all just a trip.  We took a month vacation about 6 months before the wedding and some people said we should just call it a pre-wedding honeymoon.  Before the wedding, right after the wedding, a lot later after the wedding…. vaction, honeymoon.. tomato, tomaaato!

    Post # 14
    9952 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Thanks for the explanation… that helps a lot

    (Had no idea that Costa Rica had such rigid guidelines… interesting considering I know that many go there for their own Destination Weddings… so it works in one direction not the other so easily… too bad)


    My Etiquette experience comes from various aspects…

    One my upbringing, two my interest in Victorian Culture, and three… yes that knowlege led in part to a career path where this stuff played a major role.

    As I’ve said here many times on WBee my Etiquette is more “traditional” than modern because of all of those 3 aspects.

    And of course, as with regards to anything Etiquette or Manners wise, one is able to follow the advice or not…

    Consequences should always be weighed and considered, each Bride knows their Audience / Guest List and how things will be perceived best.

    Ok, based on your post, it sounds to me that you put the most importance “faith” on the Religious Wedding & Vows you make in June.  So in that way, I’d say that is your Wedding Day…

    December sounds like it is strictly a follow up legality issue… sign some paperwork… and oh ya for the benefit of those present say a few words under a tree.

    (I don’t mean to be flip here… just it comes across from your post that you are less jazzed about the legalities of this ceremony, than the Religious one led by your Grandpa, and that is most certainly how if I was in your shoes I’d probably feel as well)

    After all the I’s are Dotted, and T’s Crossed…

    Then on with the Festivities / Celebrations with Loved Ones.

    Honestly, your situation is quite different from other Bees we hear from, cause as you say you won’t be “legally” married at the June Wedding

    BUT then for those who are Believers (I am one), I don’t think a Wedding is just a signed piece of paper either… or something that requires the Government’s Approval so much as it is a covenant between two people and God

    So the first Wedding is as you say sort of a Prelude to the actual event…

    Except for the fact that YOU Believe it to be main event… so in actuality THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS

    In that case, Personally, I wouldn’t send out Invites to the Second Ceremony in Costa Rica calling it a Wedding if you are going to abide by the belief that you were married in front of God back in June … but that is just me.

    I’d call it a Vow Renewal / Legal Soleminization of your Marriage… followed by a Celebration.

    Your Invites could say something like this tho for simplicity …

    Mr. & Mrs. HisFirstName Minipenguin

    invite you to celebrate with them their Marriage

    Saturday, the thirteenth of December

    two thousand and fourteen

    at four o’clock

    Ceremony Location


    A reception on the grounds will follow the ceremony


    Not your usual wording, but for sure it would clearly state that you are ONE already married… TWO you are celebrating a Marriage (to finish up the paperwork), and that THREE a Celebration / Reception will follow.

    Also rids the need for one’s Parents to act as Hosts (unless that is something you want to do… BUT there are issues with that, in that the wording would have to change to reflect that you are the Honourees and not those doing the Inviting)

    If you don’t think this fits, or you see other issues I’m not aware of, let me know…. and will see what else might work for this very “unusual” circumstance

    Hope this helps,


    Post # 16
    9952 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Glad to help…

    Mr. and Mrs. DadsFirstName Surname

    request the pleasure of your company

    at a celebration of marriage for

    Mr. and Mrs. HisFirstName MiniPenguin

    Saturday, the thirteenth of December

    two thousand and fourteen

    at four o’clock

    Ceremony Location


    A reception on the grounds will follow the ceremony


    IF the Reception is somewheres else, then you can put that info on the bottom of the Invite under the Ceremony details…

    and afterward at the reception

    Hotel Grano de Oro San Jose

    OR you can use seperate Reception Cards… with the details more laid out…


    immediately following the marriage celebration

    Hotel Grano de Oro San Jose

    Calle 30, Avenida 2 y 4, San José, Costa Rica

    The favour of a reply is requested

    And then you’d have Reply / RSVP Cards… as per a usual Wedding.

    Of course, as this is all an unusual circumstance, it might be a good idea to consider having a Wedding Website so you can spell it out a bit more for some…

    I wouldn’t go into oodles of explanation… but it would be fair to tell folks that you are having the Relgious Ceremony in the USA, and the Legal one in Costa Rica… that should mean that less people might be offended, in that they’d comprehend that there are two phases to this event, and they truly aren’t missing out on something… (Wedding # 2 isn’t a hoax… just a continuation of Wedding # 1)

    That said, I am sure you’ll have family members ask questions no matter what… Weddings are like that.  People want to feel involved, know the details.

    The world is way more global now than it even was 10 or 20 years ago.  So people tend to be more understanding that things are different because of that… so Elopements, Destination Weddings… and 2 Part Weddings (like yours) that happen in two countries, or even 2 continents are a lot more accepted.

    I think if you are open and honest about the situation, that you’ll find people will be less concerned / bothered by it.  It is when Brides try to “pretend” that the first event didn’t happen that seems to bother folks the most (both here on WBee and in real life). 

    Hope this helps,


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