(Closed) Honeymoon fund jar- is is okay?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: So honeymoon jar fund...its it ok to set up at a gift table?
    No, sorry I still find it a bit tacky. : (107 votes)
    78 %
    I'm okay with it...however I may not do it at my wedding. : (16 votes)
    12 %
    Yeah sure why not? Especially if they didn't bring a gift- now they can give one! : (14 votes)
    10 %
  • Post # 5
    Member
    333 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    It’s ok if you don’t expect other presents 🙂

    Post # 8
    Member
    6361 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Honestly I would prefer this than other presents (I declutter like a maniac, I want to telepathically send out the message: please don’t give me more things I would just find a burden…however, we love to travel) but I can’t think of a way to ask for this or nothing, rather than “stuff” as gifts without it seeming like I’m expecting gifts.

    A lot of people also think money is tacky. It’s unfortunate, because like I said, “stuff” we didn’t choose to bring into our home is not a blessing, it’s actually a burden.

    Post # 9
    Member
    319 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I don’t see how this is any more “tacky” than a money dance.  I’m not doing either at my wedding but I don’t turn up my nose at others who choose to.  If guests don’t like it, they won’t participate but if they do, they will! =)

    Post # 10
    Member
    814 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I honestly find this idea really tacky (wasn’t going to use the ‘t word’, but it’s in your poll) and it would put me off completely. I don’t see how it’s ANY different from asking for money on an invitation. If anything it’s worse IMO. Why not just spread by word of mouth that you’d like a monetary gift for your honeymoon?

    Post # 11
    Member
    885 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I think it’s a smart idea!! Regardless, hun, people are going to judge you either way! Good or Bad! So do what your heart tells you! Or really what your budget tells you LOL! But really, I absolutely <3 the idea! 

    Post # 12
    Member
    12635 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    No, no, no, no, no.  Please do not to do this.  It is so incredibly offensive, rude, and gift-grabby.  It’s cute to keep in your house for your spare change, but putting this at a wedding is not okay.  I would be really offended if I saw this at a wedding, especially if I already gave you a gift.  Most people will bring a gift or card with money, and it’s basically like saying, “oh, cool, now give me more.”

    Post # 13
    Member
    3267 posts
    Sugar bee

    It’s too much.  Your guests are already taking time from their lives, buying you a gift, getting all jazzed up, buying a new outfit, and then you are still hitting them up for pocket change.  I don’t think so.

    Honestly, if any of my friend did something like this (which they wouldn’t) I would consider distancing myself from them.

    Post # 14
    Member
    11760 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    if people want to give you cash gifts, they will whether there is a jar or not.  I find the whole jar thing in poor taste personally.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3887 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    The jar thing rubs me the wrong way; you’re hosting a wedding and a reception, and you shouldn’t be hitting your guests up for their pocket change.

    Post # 16
    Member
    248 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I say why not if you do it in a cute way….I would suggest putting some cash in it to get the ball rolling and so it doesnt sit empty.

     

    I used to think this was tacky too untill I saw it done at a friends wedding. She did it just like you see on pinterest…in a cute but not super over done jar on the gift table. Cute but understated might be the key. It used to be considered tacky to even have a gift table: and even after that became a social norm, it was considered tacky to have a card box because it still shows that you are expecting people to bring money you. I say be a trendsetter! 

     

    At my SIL’s wedding, she did not want a dollar dance because she thought it might be tacky. Towards the end of the night, one of the older gentlemen at the wedding took off his hat and started one. He was probably in his 90’s and was the sweetest man ever. He got it started all by himself and saved the last dance for himself before passing her back to the groom. He was such a hoot! He looked like a man who needed help getting up from his chair but then he twirled her around the dance floor like Fred Astaire! It ended up being one of her favorite parts of the night and they made a few hundred bucks for their honeymoon! Everyone loved it! It was especially sweet because it wasnt the bride and groom asking for money it was someone doing it on their behalf. Just a thought. Your wedding should be what you want. If you are confident in your wedding, nothing will be tacky or akward. Just be you and have fun!

     

    Congrats on your engagemnet and happy planning!

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