Honeymoon Fund or tradtional registry or nothing?

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
8089 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Very tacky. I too cringed when you said the link goes direct to a paypal site =\

My husband and I also lived together for a few years and had everything we needed. We didn’t register, and received only 2 physical gifts. The rest was cash/cheque. Everyone knows cash is a good gift. If anyone asks where you are registered you can just say you’re saving up for a honeymoon (or just say you arent registered) and then move on. 

Post # 3
7424 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think I just wouldn’t register at all and hope that people take the hint and give you cash/checks. You could also do a honeymoon fund – I know those are controversial on this website, but I think it’s not quite as tacky as a link to your Paypal. 

Post # 4
2199 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Nothing, don’t register don’t do a honeyfund, that’s tacky AF.

Your guests shouldn’t be paying for your honeymoon, that’s on you.

We didn’t register and out of our 180 guests only ONE brought an actual gift. The rest gave money.

Post # 5
13927 posts
Honey Beekeeper

There is no polite way to word it. 

Post # 6
2814 posts
Sugar bee

In your case I agree it would be best to skip the registry or do a small registry of things you’d like to upgrade. 

I find honeymoon funds tacky, but I also agree that it is better than a link to paypal. Another thing you might consider is a registry site like Zola where you can set up a honeymoon fund and register for other intangible gifts — like classes you can take together, wine of the month clubs, charitable contributions, etc. I’d find a mix of options like this less off-putting than the implication that you only want money. 

Post # 7
9237 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
orchidee :  “I am considering asking for absolutely nothing now and going somewhere affordable” — This. I support this. Are you saying that if your guests don’t pay for the honeymoon, you can’t afford the trip to Galapagos? Because if that’s the case, I think it’s even worse. That’s like going out to dinner with a friend and ordering a burger, then when they offer to treat, you say “oh, well in that case I’ll take the lobster!” Your instinct is correct here, and your fiance is misguided. This is a hill I would die on. There is no way I would allow my name to be on a website directing guests to a paypay account.

Post # 8
600 posts
Busy bee

Definitely don’t ask for cash. 

Can any of the other Bees explain why honeymoon funds are thought of as tacky? I’ve seen them a few times and didn’t think anything of them. Would love to know what others’ thoughts are on them.

Post # 9
688 posts
Busy bee

I didn’t have a registry because we had been living together for 4+ years and had pretty much everything we needed. Since there was no registry literally every guest came with a check. I think it’s what most people do when there is no registry. Obviously money is nice and I was very, very grateful for it and it’s what I wanted but I would have felt very weird asking for it. 

Post # 10
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I generally do not enjoy honeymoon funds. I do not want to pay for your honeymoon. I am a guest at your wedding. I will give you a gift of cash or a household item to help you start your lives together. Begging for money so you can enjoy a fabulous holiday which many of your guests are unlikely to be able to afford for themselves is beyond tacky.

Post # 11
4075 posts
Honey bee

Even if you choose to be rude and have a honeyfund, I hope you don’t expect your guests to fund the entire thing…because that laughable at best.  And I guarantee they won’t give more because you are choosing to go to a more expensive destination…


Post # 12
14011 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t need to be told cash is a good gift.  I, and bsaically every person on the planet, know that people like receiving cash.  Have a small registry, or none at all, and people will get the hint that you want cash. 

But don’t expect your guests to finance your honeymoon, either.  

Post # 13
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Agree with others saying don’t register, I didn’t and 99% of the gifts we got where cash/cheque

Post # 14
1496 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

Agree with others — no registry, no paypal (omg), no honeymoon fund, no cash request… Just don’t ask for anything.

Most people will give you cash anyway, it’s not worth the shame. 

Post # 15
2800 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

View original reply
bostonbee2018 :  the issue with honeyfunds is that the site you use takes a cut.  So if I give you $200, the site takes $10 of that and you only get $190.  I’d much rather give you a cheque for $200 or cash, then you get it all.  Plus asking for money (in any form) is tacky.

View original reply
orchidee :  your gut feeling is right on.  Asking for money or providing a link to PayPal is tacky as hell – if you want money, just don’t register.  People will get the message and give you cash without you asking for money.  We didn’t register and while we did get a few boxed gifts (new dinnerware, a really nice crystal bowl which we use as a fruit bowl, a few other things), the vast majority gave us cash.

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