Post # 1
So, Future Hubby’s family is weird and his mother thinks this is just rude for even thinking about having it.
But Huby to be and I seen this on pinterest and thought it was a great idea, because after paying for the wedding ourselves we will not be able to go on a honeymoon.
So the honeymoon jar would be prefect to put out at the bridal showers and such.
Do you all think it is rude to have it out? Its not like we are forcing these people to put money in there, just having it out. Someone also posted on pinterest that they were having it out for their wedding.
Post # 3
Yeah, do not do this. It is distasteful and rude. You will get a lot of flack from bees on here about how tacky it is to ask for money at all. Let alone having a jar for all to see.
If you are really keen on having a “honeyfund” there are websites online where guests can give donations for specific things like dinner, or a day out – it works in the same way as a registry. Again, you will get a lot of flack on here for going the honeyfund route, the general consensus is that you should not expect gifts, your guests attendance should be enough (in the same way the ettiquette police say you shouldn’t put registry information in with the invitation). I understand the desire for money, but your guests should not be funding your honeymoon.
ETA: sorry if I come across as harsh, but I agree with your FMIL and I think most people would
Post # 4
i haven’t seen that done before but i can see it going both ways. as a guest i wouldn’t be opposed to it be cause i don’t feel pressured to give since it’s just sitting there, but i can see how others would feel it’s tacky.
have you heard of the money dance? when dinner is over and dancing is going on, the bride and groom have a money dance. people dance with either groom or bride and basically pin money onto them. it’s a tradition depending on your culture and the region you reside. i’ve seen people more open to this because it’s a tradition. but it also seems more pressuring than the jar because all eyes are on the dance floor during the dance.
Post # 5
@bunnybunny: That’s true. I have heard of it, but my culture doesn’t call for it. I know there are a lot of cultures where not bringng a monetary gift is rude. I agree it may be more pressure too.
Post # 6
I agree with FMIL. So not only will guests bring you a gift but you expect them to also give you money? That just seems really gift grabby to me.
Unless it is a cultural thing (like a money dance is for some) then it is rude to ask your guests to put their hand in their pocket at your wedding.
Post # 7
People already come to the wedding with a gift, I think it’s rude to ask for more money. Of course you’re not actually saying it, but putting out a jar is a lot of pressure. I would pass.
Post # 8
@j_jaye: As of right now we are not registuring anywhere, so we are not asking for them to bring a gift.
We have our own place, with really pretty much everything we need.
Yes, I thank you guys for your input and it is appericated.
Post # 9
I give money at weddings anyway, so I don’t see a problem with this. Another option is that you can go to your travel agent and set up a honeymoon registry. That way people know what you really would appreciate.
It seems this is a more common thing to do in Australia because I notice a lot of Bee’s that aren’t use to it……
@ladyartichoke: I agree I think it is what your culture is use too.
Post # 10
I don’t think this is a good idea at all… it does appear greedy. Anyone who really wants to give you cash will do so inside a card, unsolicited (especially if you haven’t registered anywhere). The message of the jar is: “You haven’t spent enough money on me yet – more please.”
Post # 11
I have to agree with PPs – I think it’s rude as well. My SO and I actually took this idea from Pinterest only we’ve decided to make our own “honeymoon fund” and put all of our loose change in there to help us save some money!
Post # 12
I agree with PP that setting up a honeymoon registry with a travel agent is probably the better way to go. You will still get money towards the honeymoon, but it seems a bit more polite than putting out the jar.
Post # 13
Spread the word that you’re trying to pay for a honeymoon and would prefer cash. Or, create a honeymoon registry with a travel agent, as PP suggested, in which people can ACTUALLY pay for things for the honeymoon. This works better for add-ons, though, since not a lot of people will be able to shell out round trip airfare for two, etc.
Post # 14
why not just have a honeymoon shower? the jar is totally tacky, its like a tip jar
Post # 15
Tacky, distasteful, rude, greedy, all of the above!
Post # 16
Yes, I think it’s very, very rude to do this. It’s off-putting and I would be uncomfortable at a shower that did this.
I like the idea of keeping it at home for your loose change, but please don’t put it out at events with other people.