Post # 1
My FI and are are considing doing a honeymoon registry, would help us be able to afford our dream honeymoon, but I personally would also like to recieve houseware stuff as well. I know most people give those kinds of gifts at the bridal shower, and typically do cash for the wedding itself or at least thats how it works in the area I am from.
So my question is should we just purely do a honeymoon registery or do both a gift registry and a honeymoon one to give our guest more of a choice, I don’t want to be rude, and ask for too much….what would you do?
Post # 3
@MissParrot: i did both.. People told me they liked having the option and we had several people do our honeymoon one because they wanted us to have the opportunity to do all of the excursions we wanted. We were glad we did the honeymoon one because when we got there, excursions were way more than we anticipated…but we had $500 in credit so it was super nice.
Post # 4
@MissParrot: I would do both and let guest choose what they want to contribute to. I dont think its asking for too much, you are just giving them a choice. I’m considering a honeymoon regitry because we wont be able to afford much after the wedding and we already have a polace together so we have most of the home gifts people would give us already
Post # 5
Definitely do both. It’s great to give your guests the choice and some people think they’re tacky. (I absolutely disagree!) Plus, it’s great to upgrade or get the houseware items you really need/ want. I am doing a honeymoon registry because I bought a house years ago and we have everything we need. We have a small to medium regular gift registry too for items that we never had the money or time to get for ourselves.
Post # 6
My biggest problem with honeymoon registries is how misleading they are. Some have you “register” for events for your honeymoon, but in reality they just write you a check after pocketing their fee. So instead of giving my friend that $100 intimate dinner for two, I’ve given them $90 in a roundabout way. Others state that you’re giving the couple cash, but don’t advertise how much their cut is (or if they do, it’s hidden). I’d rather give the person the full amount instead of paying someone else to give it to them. And think of it from the couple’s side. If you get $1000 from guests, would you rather have $1000 or $900 (assuming a 10% fee from the moneyfund site)?
In my experience, people who want to give gifts will give gifts, and people who want to give cash will. The fact that you have a registry doesn’t make any difference. If you only have a moneyfund, Aunt Sally who always gives the couple some horrendously ugly vase, will still give you that ugly vase. I’d just register for those items you want, and people will get the message you want cash.
Post # 7
@OkieHeart: this is exactly how I feel also.
Post # 8
@MissParrot: If people in your area already give cash as a gift at weddings why do you need to do a honeymoon registry? It is not going to stop those people who like to give a boxed gift from giving one.
Post # 9
@MissParrot: I find honeymoon registries to be in extremely poor taste. It attempts to put a respectable face on panhandling amongst your friends and family for the purpose of a luxury vacation.
Go with a traditional registry for household goods. People will likely buy from it or give you cash.
Post # 10
Have a small registry for the houseware items you would like. Once those are purchased people will get the idea and give you cash. That way you get the whole gift your guests is intending to give without some third party website taking a fee.
Post # 11
These ladies have already covered the distaste that many guests feel about honeymoon registries. It is the lying that will always make them impolite. No matter what you register for that isn’t what you get (with traditional sites). What you get is cash.
But if you are having a shower, which it sounds like you are, then you absolutely must have traditional items as well.
Showers are meant for items. It is in poor taste to have a “cash” shower. Everyone likes and could use cash. There is no one who would want to return or exchange cash. Showers are to shower the bride with the items she needs to transition to married life and the hosting responsibilities that come with that.
Post # 13
@andielovesj: Oh definitely poor taste to have a money shower. When I see a moneyfund for a wedding, I think you’re cheap and/or ignorant of how they work. If I saw one for a shower, I’d be tempted to tell you how rude you’re being, plus I’d be the one buying the god-awful, horrendous, huge vase.
Post # 14
We thought about it, but then decided against it. If we receive any cash, we will put it towards that. Our wedding is small, and the place we are looking into staying at is an apartment rental, not exactly on a honeymoon registry! We will be doing a traditional registry though, but it will be small. Just a few items that could be replaced, or that we would need more of, such as sheets or towels, glassware, etc.
Post # 15
You can go for both. Create a gift and a honeymoon registry together so that your guest can give the things you really want to have. Don’t go for two different vendors for this search a one who can provide you both the things at one place. My sister had done both together with an online gift list. . I think registering for both will give you a balanced gift registry.
Post # 16
OP I LOVE how judgy people can be when its about a wedding they’re not paying for. Ask for what you want. Remember these are your loved ones, who you thought important enough to share one of the most intimate and personal moments of your life with. You are not being gift grabby. Give your guests the choice. Some will be more comfortable with the idea of going the traditional registry route, and some will graviatate to the honeyfund.
Personally, since I am moving 8 hours across state lines just before the wedding, I am only doing a cash registry becuase as a newly grad, newly married, and newly moving into an apartment, I could only think of asking my CLOSE FAMILY AND FRIENDS whom I would thnk loved me and cared about me enough to give me what I want/need, for what I acutally can use. It’s not “panhandling” seeing how I’m asking MY loved ones, who I CLEARLY have a relationship with for a gift I need. I guess some people are the type to play games and not be honest about who they are and what they want. This society makes no sense sometimes. So I cant ask the people I actually know and love for what I actually want, but instead must pretend I dont want any gifts, lie about what I want, and when I’m laden with a bunch of crap, having to cart it to my new home state and pay for storage, be extra grateful for the fact that some random internet people told me it was rude to ask for what I want. Oh. Okay. Not in this lifetime. You call it tacky all you want. When you’re paying my bills, THEN you get an opinion. PS. the OP wasn’t asking you how tacky you think those honeyfunds and cash registries are.