(Closed) Honeymoon registries…tacky or not? Anyone have any personal experience?

posted 4 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Is a honeymoon registry tacky?
    Yes : (59 votes)
    43 %
    No : (71 votes)
    52 %
    Undecided : (7 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    894 posts
    Busy bee

    I’ve never given anything other than $ at a wedding so I don’t see why you need a honeymoon registry. Do whatever you want with the cash I give you. I have never had registry info sent to me for a wedding either, just showers.

    Post # 32
    Member
    894 posts
    Busy bee

    What goes on a honeymoon registry anyway? The price of the vacation? Or is it broken down into things like dinner, airfare etc. I’m not sure I even get the concept.

    Post # 33
    Member
    25 posts
    Newbee

    I’ve read that buying experiences rather than things enrich people’s lives the most and that’s how I aim to live my life. Coming from that perspective, I think contributing towards a honeymoon or honeymoon activity is like giving a couple the opportunity to create lifelong memories. I spend a lot of time getting thoughtful birthday or Christmas gifts for my friends and family but given economies of scale at a wedding, if I could help carve a chunk off someone’s down payment or overseas flight, I’d prefer to do that if that’s what they’re requesting. They know best how to maximize their utility with my contribution 😊

    Post # 34
    Member
    668 posts
    Busy bee

    As a couple, we tend to priotize experiences over stuff. While we would love new kitchen ware and the likes, the fact is we’ll be moving across the country about a year after our wedding and the logistics of a registry just doesn’t make sense for us. Instead, we created a honeymoon wishlist registry for our honeymoon trip where we will be backpacking through southeast Asia and then staying in a conservation-based/sustainable resort. This will be a trip that is very cheap and completely us, our guests know how important travel is to us and I think it’s perfect!

    I could see how if a couple registered for a very luxurious trip, it could rub guests the wrong way. But to each their own, do what you’re comfortable with 🙂

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  pufflehuff.
    Post # 35
    Member
    268 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2019

    I’m firmly in the “believe it’s tacky” camp. There’s only two ways of looking at it: either shamelessly asking people for money or crowd funding a vacation. Both I find to be lacking class 

    Post # 36
    Member
    567 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    We did it and guests loved it. Sure, there might have been people who found it tacky, but they didn’t say anything to us about it. 

    We actually had three registries: Macy’s (slightly more high end items), Target (lower priced items, casual things) and Honeyfund.com honeymoon registry. Our honeymoon registry sold out quickly and people said they had wished they had gotten on it sooner because they loved that idea. People also bought from the other registries, but not as enthusiastically. And some people still gave cash.

    Some people are going to want to buy you china from a department store and are going to think anything else is tacky. Some are going to give cash no matter what. Some will do whatever you express as your preference. We liked giving options to people. We personally would have rather gotten cash and honeymoon help than household items, but we understood that people would want to buy those things, so we had the “traditional” registries as an option. No one was forced to fund a vacation for us, but for people who know us well, they were really excited to fund these experiences.

    One thing we did that I think helped was that we used the money for what people actually alotted it for. On the honeyfund site, it lets you set up amounts for various experiences. So you can have a registry item as like “$100, one night at Hotel ABC in X City” or “$50 dinner at ABC restaurant” or “$75snorkeling at X resort.”  We kept track of who bought what (even though you just get a check from the site and don’t *have* to do anything with it) and then we made sure we did the things people registered for and took lots of pictures of those activities/places specifically. Then when we got back and did our thank you cards, we specifically mentioned the activity AND included pictures. For example, if someone registered for a special dinner or museum entrance, we took pictures of ourselves at the restaurant, or of the food or a favorite exhibit at the museum and wrote on the back of the picture how much we enjoyed that specific activity. People loved that and I think they appreciated that we really did take their gift seriously, that it wasn’t just money but actually an experience that they offered to us.

    Post # 37
    Member
    2189 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Nope, not tacky to me. No one is forcing anyone to give money that way. The couples I have seen do this usually do not have a traditional registry and the guests would normally be giving them cash, usually being used on the honeymoon anyway. With a honeymoon fund, the guests can take care if it whenever it suits their budget and not have to worry about bringing cash, traveling with cash, getting cash out for the day if they are not at home. Again, no one is forcing guests to do this so they are free to do whatever feels right to them. I really don’t see why this would be viewed as tacky when a traditional reigstry isn’t. Times have changed and our traditions and attitudes should as well. 

    Post # 38
    Member
    2189 posts
    Buzzing bee

    beeyonce10:  there are more than your two ways of looking at it. See all the posts here that differ from your mentality. 

    Post # 39
    Member
    461 posts
    Helper bee

    I’ve heard of quite alot of people doing this. I always give money as a wedding gift – they can put it towards whatever they want so no I don’t find it tacky.

    Post # 40
    Member
    3361 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

    I kinda see all registries as the same. People make a list of what they want you to get them (toaster, scuba lessons, etc.), and you either get them something off the list or you don’t. I’m no more offended by a suggestion (cause that’s all I see a registry as) for $200 in cash or in spa treatments than I am if it’s $200 in dinnerware.

    Post # 41
    Member
    434 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Personally, I dont like how the honeymoon registries take money off the top.  I understand these websites need to make money, but its just annoying that I have to pay to give cash.  I just decided to do a registry and put on it a few items.  I figured if all my items get bought up then either the guest will give me cash or maybe nothing at all.  I am fine with either.

    Post # 42
    Member
    213 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it …like some PPs mentioned there isn’t much of a difference between buying a household item from a registry and gifting towards the honeymoon – it’s still money spent! I think it’s a good idea if the couple doesn’t need household items bc they already live together or  whatever the case may be. I actually find it worse when couples that have been living together for years and have all their necessities decide to register for really expensive household items they wouldn’t buy for themselves. At least the honeymoon fund will go to good use.

    Post # 43
    Member
    5897 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    skier11:  I don’t think it’s tacky, I think it’s part of a changing norm.  Some people will say that a honeymoon registry is “asking for money” while a registry is not.  I think that’s hogwash.  The reality is that registries have been around for a long time and honeymoon funds are new, so they are “tacky.”

    I think the key thing with your honeymoon registry is to make sure you actually do the activities people buy for you.  So if someone buys you a scub trip, make sure you go scuba diving.  That way you are using the gift as it was intended.  

     

    Post # 44
    Member
    52 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    Asking for money (or gifts!) IS TACKY. How is the voting tied?! FFS!

    Post # 45
    Member
    907 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    FH had some friends who LOVED it and recommended it to him. That, more than anything else in this wedding, was where I drew the line. I think some of it’s regional–these were NJ/NYC/LI folks who thought it was just fine. None of my Southern/Midwestern/New England people thought it was cute at all.

    The point of a wedding gift registry was to help the couple set up household, with both splurges and staples. Granted, this isn’t as necessary now as people wait till they’re older to get married and oftentimes live together before marriage. Also, fewer people want or use really expensive items like silver or full china sets. So, I see how some people feel like a traditional gift registry doesn’t work for them.

    BUT–I dislike the concept of a honeymoon registry, especially if a third party is taking a cut. One could say that household items are a necessity (that $1200 cappucino machine isn’t a necessity, but YKWIM). A honeymoon is NOT a necessity, not by any stretch of the imagination. It is a luxury. No one is owed a honeymoon.

    I don’t think I’ve been invited to a wedding where I was notified that there was a Honeyfund or PayMyWay or whatever they call them these days. I wouldn’t feel right registering for one, either. FH and I are major travelers–we do at least two international trips a year in addition to heading to the other coast to visit both sets of family every few months. How would it look if we have our hand out asking for money to travel? Really?

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