Post # 1
So…let me just start this debate right on up. 🙂
Me and my fiance live together, we’ve pretty much bought everything we need for our apartment. We really don’t need anything except for maybe a new vacuum or a new microwave. And really we could survive a little longer with the crappy ones we got. Our apartment is 800 square feet and it’s packed really. And I don’t even have all my stuff moved out of my mom’s house. We REALLY don’t need more stuff. My fiance hates clutter…more stuff would just make him an angry person.
So I decided, lets just do a honeymoon registry. I’ve started working on it using honeyfund.com and so far I haven’t had any doubts about it. I have different price ranges from $10 to $80. And I’ve felt like this way, they know we’ll use their gift, enjoy their gift, not return their gift, and heck we’ll even show them photos of us enjoying the gift they gave us.
Then I happened across this post….
Making your guests pay for your wedding?
So I first wanted to give my thoughts then open it up for everyone elses thoughts.
In my opinion, money is money. If you think about it what is the difference in asking them to buy us a night on a cruise and asking them to buy us new pots and pans? There is no difference, a registry is you asking for gifts…no matter where you make the registry. They’re going to spend the same kind of money buying you stuff at Target that they’re going to spend on a honeymoon registry. Actually…with a honeymoon registry they don’t have to find time to swing by the store you registered at, search the aisles for the things on your list, stand in line, go home and gift wrap it, etc etc. With a honeymoon registry they can be naked for all I care and click click they’ve bought our wedding present.
*steps off soap box*
Now….what are your thoughts??
Post # 3
My Future Sister-In-Law had one. She got very little off of it b/c a lot of people didn’t want to buy them, “a train ticket”. People like to give stuff.
Post # 4
i understand the reason for them, but for some reason i’m old fashion about this. i can’t figure out why i feel this way, as i’m happy to give cash which will probably be used for the honeymoon. but i still couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Post # 5
IMO, if you don’t need “stuff” then you can either 1) Not register and people will most likely give you money; or 2) Ask that people donate money to a charity of your choice in lieu of getting you “gifts”. I agree with Sapphire, people like to give “stuff.” I recently attended a wedding where the bride and groom did not register and instead had a “honeymoon registry” where guests could buy them little activities such as breakfast in bed or a massage on their honeymoon. As cute as that probably seemed, most people either just gave them money, and those that participated in the “honeymoon registry” option seemed to all come to the same general consensus that it was kind of tacky (that may have been because the particular site they used did not allow for guests to pay through the site, but rather sent them an email “reminding” them to bring the couple a check for the activity that they had “purchased”, so in the end they were just giving the couple money).
It is up to you, and it probably depends on your crowd; if they are the type that would think this is a cute way to give a gift, then I would say go for it! I would just try to find a site that was different than the one from the wedding I went to to avoid the “tacky” factor, ie, one that is through a travel company or something that allows guests to help pay for your honeymoon directly vs. bringing you payment at the wedding! 🙂
Post # 6
I think it’s a cool idea, especially when you don’t want a lot of stuff (we’re in that boat, too!). The only reason we didn’t do a honeymoon registry instead of the others (REI and Target) was because I was too lazy to do the legwork of figuring out which was the best fit for us and our guests, and then explaining it to the multitude of people that I figured wouldn’t understand. I had quite a few people say to me, “Have you ever heard of honeymoon registries? Some people do that! Maybe you should do that!” so honestly, I think a bunch of people out there think it’s awesome too. But in our case, I felt like our crowd would be a little perplexed.
Post # 7
I dig honeymoon registries. Irl, I like to give “experience” gifts over “item” gifts, so honeymoon registries fit better with my real life gifting preferences. I like the idea of gifting a memory instead an object.
Post # 8
My personal opinion is that you run the risk of being judged by your guests for being tacky. Wedding presents are traditionally meant to help the new couple set up their new life and household. For couples who have been together for awhile, it’s harder to register, which is why some gifts give cash. I’ve always thought that the assumption with a cash gift is that the cash was going to go towards a larger purchase like furniture or a house.
Post # 9
I personally don’t have a problem with honeymoon registries, but our families are both old fashioned and they just wouldn’t get it.
We’ve been stretching our old/budget/from college stuff since we got engaged so that we can finally get the stuff we WANT on our registry!
Post # 10
Personally, I think that your guests know you and usually accept what you do with your wedding. Case in point, my Fiance and I are huge travelers. We travel for college football, for family and for fun. We will be going to South Africa for our honeymoon and many of our guests have already asked us if we have registered for a honeymoon registry. They are excited to be able to help us with something that we love. I also really like the idea that they can “sponsor” events… so when we thank them it can be more personal than “thanks for the benjamins.”
If you are from a family who frowns upon this, I would probably advise against it. Ours on the other hand love the fact that they’ll be able to help out with our dream honeymoon.
Post # 11
“I also really like the idea that they can “sponsor” events… so when we thank them it can be more personal than “thanks for the benjamins.” “
@Gator, that’s what we’ll be doing. They’ll be thanked for a night on the cruise, or our Dolphin Swim or whatever they choose.
I think the majority of our guests and family would understand. It’s not like our co-habitation is a secret.
Post # 12
I think that it also depends on your guests…if your family is more traditional, then they would probably prefer a regular registry or to just give you cash. But if you’ve got a “younger” guest list (not necessarily in age) then they’ll be more understanding of what you’re trying to accomplish.
I could go either way on this one…but we did choose not to do one. Mainly because we didn’t think that our guests would “get it” for the most part…
Post # 13
We just got married this past July and had both a traditional registry and a honeymoon registry. We set up the honeymoon registry for the same reason a lot of other couples seem to – we had lived together for a few years, bought a house, and already had everything that we needed.
FH was the driving force behind setting it up, while I worried that people would think it was tacky. Maybe some people did, I don’t know, but I was surprised by how well it went over. We received more items off of our honeymoon registry than from the traditional registry, and not just from the younger crowd. We sent postcards to people during our trip thanking them for the different gifts they got us, and now that we’re back, we’ve been getting requests from people to see the pictures and tell them about the experiences they gave us.
Looking back, I would set one up again. It worked really well for us, and made our honeymoon even more fun and special.
Post # 14
We had one and no one bought anything off of it – I’m actually kind of glad because then i didn’t have to worry about redemption. In the end we mostly got checks and cash and only a few gifts. The cash we took on our honeymoon and used it and then deposited the checks later.
Post # 15
I completely agree with the original poster. I don’t think it should matter whether what you need in your life are more pots or a little adventure. I want to give people something THEY will enjoy, whether that be household items, money, contribution to their honeymoon, or something else. When I give gifts I try to think about what the recepient will enjoy, not what I think they should want/have. If what they want is a honeymoon then I’m more than happy to give that to them as opposed to a pot or toaster I think they should have but which will end up in storage somewhere. I would be more than delighted to hear about the adventures the couple had on their honeymoon and the lifelong memories made and know that I contributed to that.
Not too long ago my FH gave me earrings which were SOOO not my style. I don’t own anything remotely like them and they are just the opposite of my personality. I politely said thank you, put them in my jewelry box and never wore them. A few weeks later he said that he felt I didn’t like them because I never wear them. I admitted to him that they were really not my style and I didn’t enjoy wearing them and asked him why he picked out those specific earrings. He said he picked them because HE wanted to see them on me and would like if I wore the style. Clearly that logic left both of us unsatisfied; I didn’t enjoy the gift and he didnt’ get to see me enjoying them. We ended up returning the (very expensive) earrings and I chose different ones which I LOVE but are not something he would have picked out himself. I wear them all the time and I see him smile every time he seems me put them on. Moral of the story: the gift is for the recepient, not the gift giver.
Post # 16
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with honeymoon registries or the traditional registries. For me, bottom line, I want to give a gift that the couple really wants and will use/love — if this is paying for one night at a hotel in Maui off their honeymoon, great. If it’s buying them a new toaster oven, great.
I don’t think honeymoon registries are odd and among my circle of friends they’re becoming pretty common. Maybe because we’re all a little more settled (late 20s, early 30s) and everyone has pretty much what they need to furnish a home/apartment. I personally love reading the stories about what couples plan to do on their honeymoon, and I think it’s really cool that I’ll be contributing to their memories and an amazing vacation!