(Closed) Honor those that past at your wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Traditions
Post # 17
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

We had a poem and a candle. We also had a photo frame, though. Both of DH’s grandparents are gone, and both of my grandmothers are as well, so we got a 4 picture frame and put pictures of Darling Husband and I with our grandparents as children in the frame. We had that on one side of the candle, and the poem in a nice frame on the other. And then we tied ribbons in our colors around the candle and had it lit. It sat next to our cake so that when people went to look at the cake, they’d also see that.

Post # 18
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We did alter flowers and then the program had a saying about them and who they were in memory for. 

Post # 19
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@soontobehisbride:  i think that is inconsiderate! has none of your other members of your wedding party lost someone in their family? How do you think they are going to feel when they see you only got it for you Maid/Matron of Honor. Yeah she is your Maid/Matron of Honor but wow. If that happened to me when i was in one of my friends weddings i would think that losing my person wasnt as important as your MOHs. Maybe you want to reconsider that! smh

Post # 20
Member
674 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We are keeping it simple and putting a little “Please remember…” phrase at the end of our ceremony programs. I didn’t want to make any huge deal about it because they all passed so long ago, but I also wanted everyone to remember them on our wedding day!

Post # 21
Member
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@Milo22:  We had a little spot on our programs that said “In Loving Memory” with the names of those who were no longer with us.

Post # 22
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Imhis1andonly:  Think what you want, she’s my best friend and the Maid/Matron of Honor usually gets a little something extra imo. I know all my girls and very well and NONE will feel left out because of this LITTLE detail.

Post # 23
Member
512 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Milo22:  I am having my nieces & nephews being personal items belonging to the deceased up to the “alter” during the ceremony, we are writing it into the script.  The officiant will only say something about these objects represent the combining of two families or something short & simple to that effect but we will include a larger explaination in the program as to what these items are.

Post # 24
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We added a line to our programs:

It might be a little difficult to read, but is says, “We remember… Regretfully, some of our loved ones are no longer with us. You are here in our hearts, now and forever.”

The day after the wedding my husband and I went to the cemetery where my grandpa rests and placed my wedding bouquet on his grave. I know many brides want to keep their bouquet, but for me it was a very important gesture and it made me feel like he was part of our day. Ideally I would have done it right after the ceremony, before the reception, but my grandma asked me to wait one day as she wanted me to be nothing but happy that day.

Post # 25
Member
512 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@eocenia:  Taking your bouquet to the cemetery is a great idea.  It made me teary eyed!  So so sweet.

Post # 26
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Suncor Fluvarium

We will be having a poem and their picture at our guest book table. That way, everyone will see it, and know that they are there in spirit and memory.

Post # 27
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@vess5: I’m glad if I can help someone else incorporate a loved one in their wedding day!

It was a very emotional, but happy emotional, moment for me when we got there. I really felt like it made my grandpa part of the wedding and that was very important to me. It felt extra special as I just shared it with my husband, not everyone else.

I totally get though if people want to preserve their bouquets, but in those cases I think it could be nice to bring one of the table or church decorations to the cemetery. Just something from the wedding to establish the connection.

Post # 28
Member
283 posts
Helper bee

A family friend’s son got married just 3 months after losing his brother, who was only 31, in a helicopter crash. His brother would have been his best man, he had his younger brother step up as best man, and they had a photo of the deceased brother by the card box and a full glass of beer beside and suggested they all have a beer and celebrate for the brother. Some people found it odd, but they felt it was appropriate and I think what matters to you is most important.

I have only my father’s mother alive as a grandparent, and she will be there at the wedding. When my mother’s mother died, the funeral was more of a reunion where her 30+ grandchildren and great grandchildren were all assembled. My grandmother loved children and spoiled us all rotten, so at the funeral my mother and aunt dismantled my grandmother’s charm bracelet and gave each of us grandchildren one or two sterling silver charms. After 70+ years, her bracelet was full of charms. I’ve decided as a way of remembering her, I’m going to tie one of the charms I was given to my bouquet. It’s a little teacup on a saucer with a little teaspoon. I think it’s very subtle, but something solid I’ll feel in my hand as I walk down the aisle.

Post # 29
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Love these!!  We both lost a sibling and we both lost our dads.  In our wedding programs we had their names and a note (We would like to acknowlege our dads and siblings who have passed on, but remain in our hearts).  We also had a “Dad” table with a floating candle and their pictures. 

The week before my wedding, I went to my dad’s grave and put a bouquet of white Gerber Daisies.  I did it by myself and I cried while I told him that I knew he’d be there, but I wished he could walk me down the aisle.  We had colored Gerber Daisies, so the pure white bouquet was just for him.  He died when I was 4, so he was my pure and perfect Daddy.

I love the charms and pictures on the bouquet.  I would have done that, but never thought of it.  I do agree that whatever each couple wants is the perfect memorial.  Hats off to all of these great ideas to honor those who have passed on!

Post # 30
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - local park

We will have a candle lit (I want it to sit in a cute little bird’s nest basket but I haven’t gotten that far yet) on a side table with some wedding flowers around it.  In the program, there is a note stating “The candle to the right of the couple is lit in memory of those who cannot be with us today but are always in our hearts” or something like that and then we listed those grandparents who had passed.  I thought it was very important to recognize those people, since my grandfather passed away 3 years ago but it still feels like yesterday to almost all of our family (well, mine.  I met him after).  But, I didn’t want it to overshadow what is also a very happy occasion.

Post # 31
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Milo22:  We had our reverend mention our loved ones that have passed in our vows AND we had a memorial table.

It was a beautiful, candlelit table with a few framed photos of DH’s brother who passed away when he was just a child, and both set of grandparents for both of us.

There is NOTHING creepy about that.  I would do a table – not the chairs thing.

 

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