Post # 1
Ok. I have been having a problem with the FI best friends that are honorary groomsmen. I am planning this wedding in 3 1/2 months, less than 2 months now and they have been keeping us at bay about what they are wearing. I have asked for pictures and no response. Then 2 weeks ago they call FI and tell him they are getting a sports jacket kind of pant suit and wearing a bow tie. The groomsmen are wearing regular ties so I’m not comfortable with this. FI and I debate about the uniformity of the groomsmen and I express my concern with his girls. They are describing what they want to wear but are refusing to show us and the labels they want to wear would NEVER design sports jackets.
Fast foward to last night when we had a wedding pow wow and she breaks out a picture of a SEQUENCED HALF- BREASTED suit. She did say they didnt want the sequence but Half their boobs will be hanging out of the jackets. I stay quiet and she starts trying to sell the bow tie on me!! I flatly tell her if she wants to make a personal fashion show out of her attire it can be done at the afterparty. Later in the evening when it’s just the 3 of us I try to explain that they need to find a BASIC suit, not a designer one cause “black” is not the only thing they have to match to the groomsmen tuxes.
I think it is so wrong for 2 women to come into a wedding a intentionally try to stand out because they just want to. We gave them the choice if they wanted to wear a bridemaids dress or a grooms suit for the wedding. They choose to dress like guys but the whole time where planning on getting
something flashy. I see this as a respect issue and I am pissed!!!
What do you bees think?
Post # 3
I would be annoyed. I think as the bride you have the right to insist they were something in line with the rest of the wedding party- whether that be a pant suit (maybe you could give a little and let them where sequined shoes or something) or the dress.
Post # 4
Part of being in the wedding party is wearing what is dictated by the bride and groom. You gave up part of this control by allowing them to choose their own outfits, but you absolutely still have the right to veto something that isn’t appropriate for your wedding – if these suits don’t match your bridal party vision, then by all means tell them “no” flat-out.
I think since they’re FI’s friends, he needs to speak to them about what kind of outfit you/he had in mind and draw a line – they need to choose outfits and have them approved by you & FI by xx date or they cannot stand up in the wedding. He should also provide them with a few guidelines to make sure they know what will be acceptable.
Post # 5
I don’t get it are they acutally a part of the wedding party?
That being said just because they are female doesn’t mean they get to show up in what is basically a costume for your wedding. Why can’t they wear basic black dresses? If they want to wear a suit, there are plenty of nice womens suits that are approriate out there.
Post # 6
I’m so glad our groomswomen aren’t trying to be showy. They’ve agreed to a groomsperson suit or a bridesperson dress. That’s what your ladies agreed to and they need to ship up or be warned they won’t be standing with you. It’s one thing to alter a suit to be more flattering for a female form- it is a different thing for them intentionally trying to be super sexy by wearing a revealing costumy suit. That wouldn’t be appropriate in any wedding including guests unless you had specified it would be a costum-y wedding.