(Closed) honoring a deceased family member

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Do they have to be involved at the Ceremony part?

If you’re having a reception could you invite them to give a speach or reading or say grace (whatever fits).

Anything you pick to include them in the ceremony is going to lengthen and make it more formal and "cheesy" is very subjective.

The only things I can think of are, doing a reading, lighting a candle, bringing up a photo and having it blessed (if you’ve got a minister).

Another option would be to have a small tea ceremony where they prepare the tea, offer it to you and your groom and u2 offer it to your parents (both sides) as a sign of respecting the families.

If you need your mom to drop it, I might suggest that you remind her that there are two sides of the family here.  If you include something for your cousins, does that unblance the groom’s family.  Should you be honoring someone on their side as well?

These family things are never easy.

Post # 4
Member
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

They could walk down the aisle before you and before your bridesmaid carrying a single flower each and set it down on a chair that would have been where your grandfather would have sat if he were present (next to your grandmother? or your mother/father?) Leaving the seat empty will allow people to take a moment and reflect.  You could put a note in your program about it — or simply have the officiant mention the flowers and your grandfather and your cousins.

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I REALLY love HumarockBride’s idea!

Post # 7
Member
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I wish I could claim it as my own … a friend did it last summer. It was significant enough — but also not too overwhelming/emotional so that it took away from the happy event of the day.  It was actually for the mother of the groom at the wedding I attended who had passed a few years earlier. Both the Bride and Groom placed a flower on "her" chair. It was wonderful.

 Glad I could help!  I’ve been to a million weddings, I’ve seen it all! 🙂 

Post # 8
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

this is something that utterly chokes me up. I lost my dad 9 years ago and the fact he will not be there to give me away just tears at my heart.

I love what Humarock Bride said and think that is a lovely way to honor them.

Just making it down the aisle without him will be a feat. If I saw a rose on his chair, the waterworks would be profuse. I really miss him and getting thru that part of a wedding will be so very hard. Hugs to all brides who have lost someone dear.

Post # 9
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

Unfortunatley I had to honor my mom who passed away in 2004…2 years before my wedding in 2006 🙁

I knew she would not want anything to emotional or cheesy. The priest mentioned her in the homily in the most beautiful way… of course I started crying.  

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