Post # 1
My future sister-in-law/friend was murdered by her boyfriend two weeks ago. She was supposed to be in our wedding. She visited her brother, my fiancee just two weeks prior to her untimely demise. While she was visiting, he took her to pick up the ring – I found this our after his May 30th proposal. This has been devastating to our families. While we are trying to pull through and deal with this grief, I am going to have to start the wedding planning soon. The same day she was killed I had already ordered special personalized gifts to ask her to be in my wedding. I want to honor her, as she will not be replaced in the wedding, but do something else for her as well as my grandparents and aunt. What can I do without dampering the mood of the day, but still reflecting on them?
Post # 2
I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope your families find peace and justice.
Are you going to have some form of guest book? You could have a couple smiling candid family photos displayed nearby at the reception, with grandparents and the aunt and your SIL. You could also mention her (specifically or vague ‘loved ones’) during the ring exchange if you’d like. Be sure to consult with your Fiance on any tributes to her–he’s also healing from the loss of a sister, and the wound might be too fresh for him to deal with right away.
Post # 3
I am so sorry for your loss. My sister died when we were in high school and although her loss wasn’t as “fresh” by the time I got married (15 years had passed) it’s still a moment where you reflect back and think “this totally sucks, she should be here”. I had a small momento of hers incorporated into my bouquet and we listed her and some other loved ones at the bottom of our program (it said “today we also celebrate with those who are here in spirit including….). You need to do what feels comfortable for your families. My two MOHs started off their speech with “today we’re here as two friends trying to do the job of one sister” which would have made me lose it if they hadn’t immediately made a joke ragging on me. It was the perfect way for them to honor my sister (who they never even met because I met them a week after she died) without bringing down the happy mood of the occassion.
Post # 4
Okay, so I have a deceased sister (she passed away many, many years ago so it’s not exactly raw anymore) and have often thought of how to honor her on my wedding day, so this is what I intend to do:
Personally, I think I would “replace” her in the bridal party simply as not to draw an uncomfortable amount of attention to her absence and because I want an even number of bridesmaids to groomsmen (for pictures, because I’m OCD like that, etc.) but I’m going to leave the chair beside my mother empty, lay a bouquet of pink roses (my sister’s middle name was Rose so those are kind of our family symbol for her) and hang a pretty little sign on the back similar to the one in the picture below. Something sweet and touching, but not so somber as to put a damper on the day.
I hope that helps and I am so sorry for what your family is going through right now, but I promise it will get better <3
Post # 5
I also did something sort of similar to Mal_Adjusted
but instead of a chair at the ceremony I had the florist make up an extra bridesmaid bouquet the day before the wedding and I left it at my sister’s grave. My husband came with me which I know it’s hard for him to have never met his sister-in-law.
Post # 6
This is a good idea. I like the idea of having pics. Thank you.
I love this! It’s beautiful! Maybe I can do a general sign like this for everyone and pics all around. I really don’t want to do four chairs – I think it will make us much too sad.
Post # 7
That’s also a great idea. We will have her headstone by then! Thank you.
Post # 8
So sorry this has happened it must be devasting to you and your family.
This will still be very fresh so you may not want to do something that is too emotional like having a moment of silence before the ceremony. Something like this may have everyone will be balling before you get married. But I would definatly say a prayer for them before dinner start
I think something like this is pretty With a bit of Modpodge, old photos and crystals you could make these DIY crystal of photo ornaments to hang from bouquets or centerpieces. Or you can purchase already made bouquet charms where you just insert a photo
You can wear something that reminds you of his sister, your grandmother or Aunt . This is one of the most private ways to honor – no one will even know unless you tell them. It can be anything grandma pearls, sisters earings or shoes, your Aunts hair pin in your hair, an old brotch on your wedding bouquet
Tributes more for your sister in law
You can make your fiance and father in law a hanky from a scarf from his sisters closet. Even make your Mother inlaw one for her purse.
A donation in your sister inlaws honor to domestic violence or a womens shelter can be a wonderful and meaningful wedding favor
Also conider what’s most appropriate for his sister. Think about her personality. Did she love being the center of attention, or did she prefer to stay out of the spotlight? What were her favorite activities, hobbies, and interests? Taking a look at her personality will help you decide what tribute is most appropriate for her
Post # 9
I am so sorry to hear this 😢 my FIs best friend was killed in a freak accident 6 months ago. His wife was pregnant at the time and has subsequently had a little boy. He is a part if our bridal party as our ring bearer (his mum will carry him up the aisle) to honour his dad wHo would have been best man xx