(Closed) Hope after failed engagement?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
812 posts
Busy bee

@waitingtobeamrs:  I’m afraid I have not been in this situation but my cousin was engaged to a gentleman for years before they split and she has now been very happily married to another man for over a decade. I guess I just wanted to share that to show you that there is a great chance you will meet someone else and have a wonderful life like my cousin 🙂

Post # 3
Member
812 posts
Busy bee

sorry, having an issue wuith double posts – think it’s an issue with my security settings on this comp

Post # 4
Member
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’ve been in this situation. I was engaged for 2 years, built my whole life around this guy who was emotionally abusive and mentally ill. He broke up with me (for the 100th time) pretty suddenly, but a bit more seriously than usual. But this time it happened at a point in my life where I was staring to make a few friends again, and starting to write again, and was exploring the feelings I’d been supressing for our entire relationship. It helped me realize that I was so much better off without him, even if it meant being alone, and I finalized our break up by refusing to get back together with him and eventually cutting off all contact when he continued to try manipulating me with suicide threats… bad stuff. I just started focusing on discovering myself, as cheesy as that sounds, and developing my identity as an individual person, after having been in co-dependant relationships my whole life (parents, then friends, then ex-FI) I was shocked at myself how little I was saddened by the break up. There was like a week of uncontrollable sobbing and then I suddenly realized I was ok… almost good even. I know this is generally really inadvisable, but I met another guy really soon after. He was also just getting out of a long relationship, and we really helped each other a lot in the beginning, comiserating and such. It wasn’t really the typical “rebound” situation, more like we met each other at the exact right moment to help each other heal and grow together. About a year later, that man is now my Fiance 🙂 And even though we’re so close, I’m also the most independant and emotionally healthy I’ve ever been in my life. He’s everything I never knew I wanted, or though I deserved, or even knew could exist in a partner. I thought my ex was “the one” because I didn’t know there was anyone I could be legitimately compatable with, or that I was being treated so badly because no one had ever treated me right… sorry it’s such a long story but basically I wanted to show it does happen. you can find love again. Not even just in spite of a failed engagement, but even because of it. 

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