Post # 1
i recently broke off my engagement with my ex-fiance of almost 6 years about 3 months ago. I am still having a hard time dealing with the split, and i really have to take one day at a time. Somedays I feel like I will be ok and find someone else out there, and then there are others where I just have to cry it all out again because I so dearly miss what I used to have..im an emotional rollar coaster, and even though I still love my ex I think I am starting to realize that perhaps it was the right decision calling it all off when we did.
Anyway, I guess what Im asking is is there anyone out there who has been in my situation before? Have you been engaged, broken hearted and able to find love again? How did you cope? I dont have any friends who are in my situation, (they’re all recently married or having kids already) and my only true support is my younger sister who keeps telling me it will all work out oneday. It’s kind of hard to believe it sometimes and having just turned 27 I feel like I wont be meeting anyone for a while, since I still need to grieve my loss. Im terrrified to go and date again and I know that I have to be completely over him so that Im fair to another person in the long run.
I want that happy fairytale and a family oneday and it seems like it was so close in my grasp and completely gone a second later. I feel like I failed already and am tainted. Any one with experiences/stories of inspiration? Thanks for listening.
Post # 3
@waitingtobeamrs: I’m afraid I have not been in this situation but my cousin was engaged to a gentleman for years before they split and she has now been very happily married to another man for over a decade. I guess I just wanted to share that to show you that there is a great chance you will meet someone else and have a wonderful life like my cousin 🙂
Post # 3
sorry, having an issue wuith double posts – think it’s an issue with my security settings on this comp
Post # 4
I’ve been in this situation. I was engaged for 2 years, built my whole life around this guy who was emotionally abusive and mentally ill. He broke up with me (for the 100th time) pretty suddenly, but a bit more seriously than usual. But this time it happened at a point in my life where I was staring to make a few friends again, and starting to write again, and was exploring the feelings I’d been supressing for our entire relationship. It helped me realize that I was so much better off without him, even if it meant being alone, and I finalized our break up by refusing to get back together with him and eventually cutting off all contact when he continued to try manipulating me with suicide threats… bad stuff. I just started focusing on discovering myself, as cheesy as that sounds, and developing my identity as an individual person, after having been in co-dependant relationships my whole life (parents, then friends, then ex-FI) I was shocked at myself how little I was saddened by the break up. There was like a week of uncontrollable sobbing and then I suddenly realized I was ok… almost good even. I know this is generally really inadvisable, but I met another guy really soon after. He was also just getting out of a long relationship, and we really helped each other a lot in the beginning, comiserating and such. It wasn’t really the typical “rebound” situation, more like we met each other at the exact right moment to help each other heal and grow together. About a year later, that man is now my Fiance 🙂 And even though we’re so close, I’m also the most independant and emotionally healthy I’ve ever been in my life. He’s everything I never knew I wanted, or though I deserved, or even knew could exist in a partner. I thought my ex was “the one” because I didn’t know there was anyone I could be legitimately compatable with, or that I was being treated so badly because no one had ever treated me right… sorry it’s such a long story but basically I wanted to show it does happen. you can find love again. Not even just in spite of a failed engagement, but even because of it.