(Closed) Hope it doesn’t bother me more…

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2143 posts
Buzzing bee

I didn’t have those things either. Well,  I had a bachelorette party, but it consisted of my mom, sister, aunts, and a couple of my mom’s friends… I also don’t live very close to my family. Not as far as you, but if I only get to see them a couple times a year, it doesn’t really make a difference. I’ve also always imagined throwing birthday parties for my future kids with all their aunts and uncles and stuff there (like when I was a kid) but I don’t see that happening. I honestly havent really figured out much to make me feel better yet, but just wanted to say that I understand where you’re coming from. Just remember that you’ll have your fiance to support you and that you won’t be doing it alone. You can also try Skype. one of my former employers used it all the time! Her family was in Ireland, her husband’s family was in South Africa, and they were in NYC. I think it really helped them. Just hang in there! *hug*

Post # 4
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Don’t worry you are not alone.  I don’t get to have any of those things either.  My family and friends live 1600 miles away.  It is REALLY hard and really I don’t have any advice.  I am bummed I won’t get to have all of those things either.  I just try to concentrate on the fact I am lucky to have my fiance and that soon he will be my husband. 

  I have bad health and so we don’t even get to have the wedding it will just be the two of us, so just concentrate on making the wedding a fun event for all of you.  But yes it is hard to live away from everyone you know in life.  But  you have your fiance and he is going to be your family:)

Post # 5
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeah, I know how you feel…when everyone is apart, it hurts.  We won’t even be together at the wedding because my family can’t afford to come, we can’t afford to invite everyone, even if they could, and a bunch of friends have obligations overseas that may keep them from coming.  I try to find joy in the people who ARE here & remember that the parties don’t make the joy happen…the people do. 

We’re still doing our wedding here where we live & the people here will come.  When we have enough money, we’ll go to where the rest of my family lives (and then to where the rest of his family lives) and have potluck parties (sans friends) in both those locations.  And when our friends overseas come home, we’ll have a get together then.  It won’t be the same as having them all at the wedding, but their love will be no less and our joy will grow with each get together – even if it’s years apart. 

Concentrate on the joy…it keeps me from crying.

Post # 6
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I understand. I don’t have any family, literally none AT ALL. My best friend lives in my home country, my m.o.h lives about ten hours away, my other friends live at least four and my Fiances family live in California (I’m in Michigan). I won’t have any of those things either, I had to go dress shopping solo which was a little sad.

With a loving husband by your side you should not be so lonely and you should get involved with a group wherever you go, try to make new friends. I know it’s rough, my Fiance is in the military so we move often.

Post # 7
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I understand! 🙂

I’m planning from abroad and coming into town 3 weeks before the wedding. My family is Russian and don’t know anything about bridal showers etc, and I have no bridal party to plan it either so as far as I know, I will have nothing.

I keep my mind off it because that’s the way it is and because the wedding will be wonderful!

Maybe you could plan a brunch the day after, or a brunch/dinner beforehand with whoever is around? If you really want a bridal shower and *some* people will be around for it, could you ask someone to plan one? Sometimes people don’t get that you want something until you tell them, and then they’re happy to do it.

Post # 8
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Same here, no showers or parties before the wedding. I was a bit disappointed that there was no bachelorette party but with 5 days till the wedding, I have no time to mope about it. I agree with ms. pascua concentrate on the joy of your upcoming wedding!

Post # 9
1 posts
  • Wedding: October 2009

Same here. All our family lives across the country. I too went dress shopping solo, and there certainly hasn’t been any mention of the typical pre-wedding parties.

It really stinks, but for me, the part that hurts the most is knowing that the distance is just an excuse. If I lived closer to my family, they still wouldn’t be very involved or care. My parents won’t even stop telling how much of a “burden” it is to come here for the wedding, even though I skimped on Everything else so I could afford to fly them here. Neither of them (or their spouses) even want to come. Several friends even ‘let it slip’ that they would rather vacation elsewhere than come…We invited 20 people, only 8 are coming.

All I’ve gotten from my friend and mom on the dress pictures I sent was “That’s lovely” and a change of subject.

I keep trying to focus on how happy my FH makes me, and the fact that we’re getting married, but it’s hard not to get sad at the almost daily rejections. I try to convince myself that all my friends and family just don’t care about Weddings instead of just not caring about Me.

Post # 10
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I decided at the beginning that I didn’t want a shower or bachelorette.. but I still wanted to spend some time with my girls (no bridal party either and several very close friends traveling internationally for the wedding)…

so I’m going to organize a little something low key the day before to hang out with them instead. it won’t be a true shower (i don’t like all the attention) but it’ll still be a way to connect separately from the rest of the wedding day craziness.

maybe you could do something like that?

Post # 11
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I completely understand as well! I live in London and my family & friends are all back in the states, spread all over. I won’t have a shower or bachelorette and it does make me very sad, especially as my fiance’s friends & family are here in Europe, so he will have pre-wedding festivities.

I’m trying not to dwell on it and will do something nice with the BM’s day before the wedding, but it is definitely not how I imagined my wedding to be. And, when I do go home to do planning, I will have to do lots of frantic DIY and will only have mom & dad there to help!


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