(Closed) Hopefully my last post about my ex- Need your help ladies

posted 5 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
46664 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@AussieSummer:  Do NOT contact this man again. He obviously has problems and is being emotionally abusive to you.

Post # 4
1247 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t have much to say except anybody can claim G-d told them…

Post # 5
986 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

NEVER contact him again, or accept contact from him. He is a toxic asshole. You are continuing to torture yourself by seeing/talking to him. The sooner you cut him off the sooner you will find someone who isn’t a complete piece of crap and doesn’t use “God” as an excuse to humiliate and hurt you.

Post # 6
2602 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@AussieSummer:  This guy is jerking you around in a very immature way. I do believe in God, and I believe in God showing us direction, but this guy isn’t exactly being loving and kind by flip-flopping. He doesn’t know what he wants. That is no good for you and not at all what a commitment to another person should look like.

Post # 7
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

No, no, no, 1,000…nay, a MILLION TIMES NO!  CUT HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE.  This man is toxic and you need to be rid of him.  I don’t know how many times and how many Bees need to tell you this before it sinks in.  You may THINK you need “closure” but all this man is going to do is keep stringing you along, and you keep falling for it hook, line, and sinker.  

Post # 8
9548 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I wuld cut this guy out of your life completely. I would absolutely not talk to him again. Block his number and email. He obviously doesn’t want a relationship with you. He just wants what he can’t have. Please don’t go back to him.

Post # 9
1772 posts
Buzzing bee

Do not contact him, ignore him.  If you can block him on your phone, Facebook or any other way for him to contact you – do it.  He’s doing nothing but prolonging your misery, picking at a scab.  Consider yourself lucky that you’re not married and subjected to a lifetime of his emotional whims.    

Post # 10
7560 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would never contact this man again. He is manipulating you. You need to take back control by making this decision to look out for yourself first. He is not the right person for you. 

Post # 11
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@AussieSummer:  Big fat NO!

Do not contact him again. It will inflate his ego and probably only end in tears for you.

The only way to take power is be strong (or at least appear strong) and not contact him at all. And actively snub him if he tries to contact you.

And as I’ve said before, I think “God told me” is a cop out. Even if God did tell him, he certainly didn’t tell him to mess with your feelings and treat you like dirt. If you try to meet him for closure, any explanation he gives you will be BS anyway, so what’s the point?

I would ignore and block. 

Post # 12
5226 posts
Bee Keeper

@AussieSummer:  God doesn’t tell people to treat someone the way this guy is treating you. It sounds to me like he doesn’t want to continue the relationship, but isn’t mature enough to end things gracefully. Instead of moving forward so you can both heal, he’s picking the scab off and making it bleed. I understand what a break up of a 6 year relationship is like, I had one. Its devastating. Healing from it is a process. He is probably struggling with his emotions and isn’t mature enough to leave it alone. At this point WHAT HE IS DOING IS ABUSIVE. Its time to set some boundaries. The whole relationship sounds unhealthy and codependent.


At this point, if you continue to let this guy play games with you, you have no one to blame but yourself for letting it happen. MOVE ON.

Post # 13
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I understand wanting to have a final talk, to say all of the “final things” and find the peace you were hoping for. But usually it doesn’t work out this way, and either you’ll fall back into the same arguments you’ve had or he may be cold and unwilling to open up one final time. Either way, you might end up feeling unfulfilled and worse. 

I wouldn’t advise talking to him anymore.

Post # 14
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@AussieSummer: I say this from experience – end this now. He is screwing you around big time and you need to take a stand. Don’t let him have this power over you anymore, he’s not the one. One day you will find someone who will love you and want a life with you without causing all this drama. For now, make it clear that it is over, start the healing process, be strong and learn to be happy on your own, you deserve better.

Post # 16
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

My problem with putting God inappropriately in a relationship is when ONE person keeps God to him/herself in a selfish manner.

If you want to have a healthy relationship with a man and God together, it has to be done TOGETHER as a 3-person relationship, where God is placed above him. Your ex is definitely not placing God before the two of you. He is placing HIMSELF before God and you. Very un-Christian-like.

He’s a coward. You deserve better. If I were you, talk to your dad. Cry it out, asking for your dad’s wisdom. You will find someone else. I don’t think God chooses who we love. We choose that ourselves. We can only pray for strength and faith.

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