hoping to get some opinions on a lie from my fiance

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
976 posts
Busy bee

Ok so she asked if you were the one he got pregnant and you said no…and then what? How did you not turn to him and be like “WTF is she talking about?” 

Neither of you sound ready for marriage…at least not to one another.

Post # 47
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

View original reply
sassy411 :  STIs is a good idea too! Although I have found if you use all lowercase letters, it doesn’t trigger the autocorrect. 

Either way, OP should watch out for them. She doesn’t need stds or STDs.

Post # 48
Member
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Wait, wait, wait. He decided (on his own without telling you) to become exclusive in December and now he asked you to marry him four months later? How long had you dated (while he dated and slept with other women) before that? And your engagement will be six months long? Why are you in such a hurry? And did he get another woman pregnant? Did you get any clarification on that?

This whole thing sounds like a cluster****? There’s a LOT you aren’t telling us, and somehow I’m betting it only gets worse.

Post # 49
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2017 - Maui, Hawaii

 (comment edited for name calling)

Post # 51
Member
2075 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

So you just let that whole “did he get another girl pregnant while dating me” slide huh?  You must live in Egypt cause you’ve completely set up house in denial.  Also explains why you haven’t commented since. 

At the very least, clear up the pregnancy thing and By The Way, if he lies about simple, stupid shit he’s definitely going to lie about important shit, like getting a girl pregnant while dating you!

Post # 52
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

PP responses are on point. It sounds like we’re all aligned in thinking this guy is a joke. He was (and potentially is still) unfaithful to you, he is a dirty liar, he’s a gaslighter, he’s PROUD of being a player but keeps his relationship and FIANCE on the dow-low. Suuuuuuper shady. OP, I don’t know you but you deserve better and better is out there. PLEASE don’t settle, PLEASE don’t marry someone who’s secrets come out FROM OTHER PEOPLE. If he doesn’t communicate with you (and you say you value good communication), how can you let this slide? You SHOULD be reacting. Obviously, this is effecting you enough to write about it here. You might not be getting the feedback you wanted, but these are real people giving you honest feedback and we all agree. This is a bad situation. And this is only the beginning of it.

Post # 53
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

Girl.. LEAVE HIM. Clearly he’s not “all in yet” for a relationship with you. Let alone marriage!! Doesnt matter if hes shouting your name off the rooftops. IMO you’ll be setting yourself up for divorce/a horribly depressing marriage… You’ll meet someone better! Please, you came to us or advice, and id say take it! Dump him.

Post # 54
Member
2855 posts
Sugar bee

Call me when your balloon finally lands.

Post # 55
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
dandyorc :  Whether or not he’s given you reason to doubt his fidelity since December isn’t what I’d be concerned about.

Who is the woman he impregnated, and what happened to their baby!?

There’s a difference between being a private person and being a secretive person. He’s fed you some major lies and there is a possible BABY out there.

Post # 56
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

OP, I am so sorry you are going through this terrible revelation months away from when you planned to get married. I agree with so many of the comments on this thread. I just wanted to make one comment. I don’t think you should have to reassure your Fiance that he can be honest with you and that you won’t freak out. I feel like before you can really know your relationship is strong enough for marriage you need to have been through tough situations where you both have seen how the other person responds to difficult truths/dissenting opinions/emotional stuff. In addition to all the concerns about him lying and cheating, which I think is enough that you should leave, I also feel like you probably haven’t had enough experiences together to know that you two can overcome adversities together. 

Post # 60
Member
201 posts
Helper bee

Oh my goodness!! If I was in this situation and my fiancé’s coworker asked if I was the girl he got pregnant, my mouth would be on the floor and I’d be demanding answers right there and then. Screw waiting days to hear his pathetic reasoning. The fact that you don’t realise this man is an absolute twat astounds me and you need to run. Run and never look back. Do not marry this loser. You will regret it for the rest of your life. 

 

PS. just read your update. Something is fishy. It sounds like he has motives – “let’s marry in a year”. Hmmm, dump him. 

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