Post # 46
rockclimberbride : I want to start out by saying, I promise I don’t mean to be rude/over critical, I just want to be honest and helpful before you order!
I don’t think you need food for before the ceremony, and as you don’t have much food overall I would want to save this for when people are actually expecting to be fed. I would feel very awkward eating a salad as I waited for the bride to walk down the aisle. I would wait til after to eat and then it would seem like it was sitting out for too long…
I would normally think of 8 hor d’oeurves as what is passed around before the actual meal, so I am glad you have explained to your guests that this is the meal (overwise I would not eat as much to save space for the meal). As PPs have said, you really would need to consider upping this amount. People HATE being hungry, so I would want to play it safe personally. *If you serve the chips/salad bar at the same time it would be much easier to justify the small quantity of food, which could help the budget?
I’m also very worried about the small amount of alcohol. Are you making sure it is 2 per person and then a cash bar? How is this going to work? My partner and I are not big drinkers but at a wedding, we would have had two drinks each before dinner was over, let alone for the rest of the party! I read online a safe amount is 1.25 drinks per person, per hour – there are lots of online calculators to help you if you are unsure =)
Post # 47
What about giving two drink tickets per person and then a cash bar? Totally get not being able to pay it, but that’s a long time for just two drinks. At a “cocktail” reception I would expect drinks to be flowing, or at least available…
I would try to add more veggie options – not just for vegetarians, but to balance out the heavy food. Spring rolls or stuffed peppers (maybe with quinoa or something heartier) would be nice.
Post # 48
Thank you for the responses over the weekend.
About the drinks: At my fiancé’s parents wedding, they had a very painful and embarrassing moment where they had to escort the parents of the bride out of the wedding because they showed up beligerently drunk. My future brother in law is a recovering alcoholic. Due to our line of work, my fiancé and I cannot consume more then 2 drinks in a social setting without having to report it.
If our guests, close family and friends who understand this, have an issue with the drinks and our lifestyle choices, that’s honestly too bad. We don’t maintain relationships that require alcohol to fuel them and if that is a problem for some people, that is also too bad.
Swapping salad for meat is a good idea. We have a couple vegans coming so I’m not sure what to do there. The bean and corn tacos are vegan, but I’m sure they’ll want more.
Post # 49
rockclimberbride : Have you considered just having a dry wedding and then putting that money towards something else for your guests like more food? I don’t have a problem with dry weddings, but I’d probably be a bit confused if I couldn’t have a third glass of wine.
Post # 50
browneyedgirl24 : thank you for the yummy vegan friendly ideas!!
Post # 51
catash : We can count on people to have a couple drinks and have a good time without making a scene or ruining someone’s night. I don’t think we need to be so extreme to take all the drinks away.
Post # 52
rockclimberbride : have you considered adding a few things like pasta/risotto/paella/fried rice to your apps list. They plate them up.in those bamboo boat shaped disposable mini plates. They are filling options and they are generally cheaper than small individual app options because they can be cooked in bulk and are not fiddly to make like other apps can be.
I’d do away with the salad station as its not filling at all considering you are having such a small number of apps. I’d do something more substantial. I went to a cocktail party where they used an Italian caterer who did a mixed fried fish station with chips. They handed out paper cones with battered prawns, fish, calamari with fries and a wedge of lemon on top! Totally heaven and I may have had two servings!! 😜
Post # 53
We had a small intimate wedding of 35 guests and served a tapas style dnner menu for our food. Wedding lasted from 330 pm to 11pm, we did have a deli tray out at 8pm and had pizza at 11 pm if anyone was hungry. Our guests enjoyed it because they were able to socialize and a waiter served a variety of food. It gave everyone a variety of things to try and it was better than being stuck at a table. There were about 12 different types of small plate items that were filling and delicious. It was like going to a lounge where they have a Tapas menu but we did give everyone a heads up prior to the wedding.
Post # 54
I think it’s poor form to police your guests and to decide how much alcohol they should or should not have. If we were allocated only two drinks at a non-dry wedding, with no cash bar option, we would probably be making a run to the nearest liquor store (with other guests) to get more drinks once our two drink limit came and went.
Just because you and your SO can only have two drinks, does not mean that the rest of your guests are tied to that stipulation. As well, there is no guarantee that someone won’t show up already drunk; your limit won’t help that potential situation.
Post # 55
rockclimberbride : I am so intrigued to know more about your line of work/the drink limit as I have never heard of this before – can you explain more?
Post # 56
rockclimberbride : We can count on people to have a couple drinks and have a good time without making a scene or ruining someone’s night. I don’t think we need to be so extreme to take all the drinks away.
One of the reasons bar tabs are so high for weddings is that people will get a drink, set it down to dance or chat with someone, turn around and find it’s been cleared or they are no longer sure which is theirs, don’t care for that type of drink, etc. and get another. There is a fair amount of waste; this happens more wit a strolling reception than with a plated, assigned-seat dinner.
You may also have guests who can put away a few drinks in an hour and a half–what happens when more conservative drinkers go for their second drink at 7pm and the beer and wine are gone? Will you communicate this two drink limit to your guests and how will it be monitored? How will you calculate beer drinkers vs wine drinkers?
We Bees aren’t suggesting people have to get drunk to have a good time at your reception, just trying to help you work through the practical elements of good hosting. We’ve seen past posts from Bees upset that half their guests left much earlier than they had expected and lack of sufficient food and drink were often the reason.