Horrible breakup

posted 3 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
240 posts
Helper bee

No apology. Move on with your head up high. Sometimes it takes rock bottom to make us realize things – and he couldn’t even be bothered to make sure you were okay. You are so much more than this one experience – please don’t hold onto the guilt. You deserve so, so much better. And you’ve turned the corner so that good things can find you!

Post # 17
Member
414 posts
Helper bee

Dear god, what a diaster! I’m glad you are safe and this Uber driver didn’t take advantage of you. Although, why the hell did he drop you off at a random park? Did the ex put the park in as the destination, or did you tell the guy to stop, or did the Uber just decide to leave you there?

Who gives a shit about hitting him and saying you hate him. He sucks. He can get over himself the stupid asshole. He will get what’s comming to him. Karma baby! Happened to my dumb ex. Got dumped by the next TWO girls after me (within a year and a half) and both said they couldn’t stand him LOL!

Take some time to figure out who you are now and pick up some new hobbies. Spend time with your family and friends. Heal. I know it hurts and feels horrible right now, but YOU WILL GET THROUGH FEELING LIKE THIS!!! Go to the gym more-I know running like a complete maniac helps me when I’m upset about things.

Post # 18
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

I remember you. Your Boyfriend or Best Friend was cruel to you after you sent him on a boys trip and taunted you with other women. He was shockingly emotionally toxic then. I can’t imagine a year of progressively worse behavior after that. And I know that he was progressively worse, because I’ve seen men just like him test how far they can push and control someone. After you took him back in that situation, he felt even more powerful.

Do not put anything in writing. Unless Uber broke their TOS, he either sent you to a park specifically (to punish and toy with you) or you got out of the vehicle. Uber/Lyft both set destinations before the ride begins, and confirmation of payment is made when the driver notifies you that the ride is completed. So he would have seen IN THAT MOMENT that you had been sent to a park, or that a ride was cut short. So either your driver did something dangerously illegal, or he was cruel to you. Given the fact that he ignored your family when they were scared for your life, I suspect he knew and did it intentionally.

Don’t apologize to him. Send someone else to retrieve your things. Block all of his numbers and contact info. Put him behind you.

And then, apologize to yourself. Write a letter to yourself about what he did to you, what you allowed him to get away with, all the pain and hurt he caused, and apologize to you.

Because you are the one who deserves an apology and forgiveness of yourself, here. 

He can rot.

Post # 19
Member
2901 posts
Sugar bee

Go get your stuff but take friends/family with you.

Don’t apologize. Tell him that you want your money back and agree a timescale – by the end of the day/week/month/year – then go home and have a bit of a cry. Then celebrate getting rid of him.

Post # 20
Member
373 posts
Helper bee

Get your stuff, drop off his shit. Don’t admit to anything. It’s a he said she said, and you don’t remember it, he’s putting words in your mouth.

Post # 21
Member
2608 posts
Sugar bee

 

blondie603 :  Condoning her hitting him is a double standard.  If HE hit her, this place would go bananas.  No excuse for physical violence by either sex.

OP–make your stay in the drunk tank your darkest moment and get control of your life.

Post # 22
Member
36 posts
Newbee

I 100% agree with another comment I saw on here. Have someone else get your laptop and give him his items back. You do not owe him an apology. 

This needs to end right now. The wounds are fresh and if lines of communication are opened, I fear you will go back to him. 

In a year and a half, you don’t want to come back here saying you’re still with him. You deserve better than someone who will so carelessly throw you in the back of an Uber in the state that you were in. Anything could have happened to you. The best version of YOU is right around the corner and away from him. Start living the life you were meant to life <3 

Post # 23
Member
476 posts
Helper bee

Do not write any apology. You don’t even know if what he’s telling you is true. You were black out drunk and this guy is a manipulative asshole. Unless someone else that ISN’T his friend veririfies it, then you didn’t hit him.

I agree with PP – have someone else go to get your things. You got roped in to stay with him even after he sent you a snapchat with other girls, told you that you were in a race and admitted he’s only with you because he owes you money. I don’t think you’re strong enough to see him or contact him without going back. I don’t mean that in a mean way, but you just aren’t.

No contact with him, get rid of all pictures and social media and anything that he gave you, if anything.

Post # 24
Member
883 posts
Busy bee

Yes don’t apologize for shit. You don’t know if his story is true.

Also, like other bees have said. If you go to get your stuff, bring someone with you. Preferably your mother and sister So he knows its no nonsense. Get your things and never look back. Block all forms of contact (this means social media, email, etc). Don’t try to remain friends with his circle. Unfriend and block them too. Tell people not to give you any updates about him. Cut him out of every aspect of your life. 

I can’t beleive he left his drunk Girlfriend in an uber alone. What an asshole. That was so dangerous.

Also, fuck that $2K he owes you. Its not worth your sanity. Just write it off as a loss. Do not contact him for anything. 

 

Post # 25
Member
3271 posts
Sugar bee

Please be real. Any contact you have with him increases the risk that you will go back to him. That risk is already too high. You need to send someone else to pick up your stuff. Your apology is just a thinly veiled attempt to contact him. It’s time to start being smart and taking care of yourself. In your case that means thwarting your baser impulses.

Post # 26
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020 - City, State

You’ve been given valuable advice. You MUST follow it. Keep him out of your life 100%. 

 

Either he’s lying to you about the hitting, or you did it. Either way, once physical violence has been introduced, (even if he’s lying), this is done. If you did it, that should tell you how you truly feel about him. If he’s lying, that should tell you how he truly feels about you. But once that gate has been opened, there’s no going back. You might do it again, or he might feel “justified” to do it to you. 

 

 

Post # 27
Member
1272 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Iʻm fuming for you. he just put the destination of your uber to a park?!!?!? WTF 

donʻt apologize for shit.

 

Leave all his shit in the park like he left you.

Post # 29
Member
455 posts
Helper bee

beautylover92 :  

Putting your alleged actions into writing could be used against you. This fuckboy has a history of extreme dishonesty so I wouldn’t be surprised if the incident didn’t even occur. 

I hope that you break up with this fuckboy and find a therapist. You will need long term therapy for your self esteem issues as well as the trauma you suffered in your relationship. I would also recommend that you don’t date anyone until you have been in therapy for at least a year. Please invest time in yourself for healing. In the past, I stayed in unhealthy romantic and platonic relationships because the abuse I suffered as a child made me believe that I didn’t deserve any better. Finding a therapist was the best decision I have ever made. 

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