Post # 1
This is something relatively new. It used to only happen every once in a while but it’s becoming more frequent. It leaves me feeling really upset when it happens and I like to talk my FI about it because it makes me feel better but I’m pretty sure it upsets him. So I will talk to you guys about it!
This is how the dreams go. It’s the same basic thing every time. Little details change but overall they are the same. In my dreams I know that I’m supposed to be in love and engaged and everything and at first I’m happy. But then the person I am with in the dream shows up. It’s never my FI. Usually I get the feeling that the person is my ex though it never looks like him. I have that a lot in dreams. I’ll be at a place that I know is my house but it looks nothing like my house. Anyway once the person I am “with” in my dream shows up I start to freak out and get really upset. Because I know I do not love this person and that they don’t make me happy. I don’t want to be with this person and I certainly don’t want to marry them. And I realize there must be someone else because I was so happy about getting married but this person that I’m with in my dream could never make me feel that way. In these dreams I can’t remember my FI. Not his name or what he looks like or that he even exists. I spend the whole dream thinking there just has to be someone else because I don’t want the person in the dream. It makes me so upset and I feel horrible.
It happened again last night and this morning I woke up and had to actually look at my FI because until I did I thought I was laying in bed alone and that he wasn’t real. That was new. I usually wake up right after the dream and the second I’m awake I remember him and it’s such a huge relief. I don’t know why this happens and it really freaks me out when it does. I just have to talk about this when it happens because it makes me feel wierd all day. I just need to get it out. Anyone else have anything like this happen?
Post # 3
Hey hun! Those dreams don’t sound like any fun, but please try not to get too upset by them! I think we all go through these phases, though I can’t say I’ve had a bad dream like that with as much regularity.
When I have bizzare dreams like this, especially those that involve my husband somehow, I try not to focus on the dream itself so much as the immense wave of relief I feel when I wake up and see my husband sleeping next to me and remember what my reality really is. The feeling you get when you wake up and realize it was all just a dream is far more telling than the content of your dream, in my opinion.
Post # 4
@MistySoda: To me it just seems like maybe you’re scared of whatever went wrong in your previous relationship going wrong in your marriage. Or just your relationship changing in general – it’s amazing now, but will it always be? Or will I wake up one day and be beside a man who is no longer my best friend and lover?
I could be WAY off, but that’s what I see in it! And if that’s in any way true, then it’s totally normal! Everyone has fears like that, but being afraid of it is good, because it means you’ll always be on the look out and trying to prevent it.
Of course disregard that if I’m completely wrong, haha. Good luck! Bad dreams like that are awful
Post # 5
@MistySoda: I’ve had several dreams where my SO and I are dating but not exclusive. I go out with other people and feel horrible about myself because I really just want to be with my SO. It’s weird. He’s always around somehow and knows I’m dating someone else and is sad but wants me to do it if I feel I have to. I know in the dream that I’m hurting him and I feel stupid and ashamed of myself, but still do it.
Honestly, I see this (and your dream) as our brains’ way of seeing what would happen if we weren’t with the right person. You know, sometimes people have doubts or whatever and they try to work it out in their waking hours and it gets really messy. Maybe for us, those doubts are so small or buried or whatever, they only come out at night and our dreams are us working through that and seeing that we are with the right people.
If I were you, I would focus on my FI for several minutes before falling asleep. As you drift off, try to keep his face in your mind. Maybe you can “pull” him into the dreams. But either way, I wouldn’t worry about it. Stressing out about it is probably just making it worse. It’s just a dream. It’ll pass.
Post # 6
@MistySoda: I have pretty much the exact same dream. Im so happy and in love and then I see the person I’m engaged to and its not my FI. Usually its my ex and then I realise he can never make me happy and I dont love him, so I feel empty and lonely but cant remember FI at all! Its an awful feeling.
Post # 7
Ah i get similar dreams all the tome. My xbf will be in it and i think ugh i hate this guy… Then i see my bf and i dont know its him and im like awww now i like him for some reason! Its soo strange o feel so guilty about it too. But makes me feel a little better that in my dream when i see him my whole mood changes to love.