(Closed) Horrible news..

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am so sorry you and your family are having to go through this πŸ™

I suggest just keeping in touch with your venue and keep them posted on what is going on. I would call them to find out what your options would be.

Post # 4
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

First off, I’m so sorry that your Future Mother-In-Law and family is having to go through this. How awful.

Secondly, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in the fall of 2008, so I thought I’d pass on some insights as to what she (and our family) went through.

My biggest piece of advice is to stay flexible and be prepared for anything (including possibly serious changes to the wedding plans). There were so many unexpected twists and turns throughout her treatment. One day the news is horrible, and the next day it is great, and then on the third day she was back in the hospital. It was a constant roller coaster of emotion.

Of course I do not know (or hope) that your FMIL’s experience was anything like that, but if someone would have told me that things would be constantly changing and we’d all have to adjust, I would have appreciated hearing it.

The good news is that after all of that my mom wound up finishing her treatment (surgery and exploratory surgery, chemo, and radiation) by the fall of 2009 and has been free of cancer ever since.

Your Future Mother-In-Law is in my thoughts and prayers. Feel free to PM me if you have any other questions or need someone to talk with.

Post # 5
1124 posts
Bumble bee

I’m so sorry for the terrible news your family has gotten. I hope your Future Mother-In-Law stays strong and beats this.

It’s clear you care about her and her health is important to you. I don’t think you should feel guilty at all for considering your wedding during this time. Your wedding is a very important event in your life and considering the effects this news will have on it is natural. I’m not sure what I would do in your shoes. I’m sure your Future Mother-In-Law doesn’t want the world put on hold because of her. It may even take her mind off of her health for a bit. Since you already have the deposit down, I’d say keep planning. You can adjust as necessary later when more is known about her condition and treatment progress.

Good luck. I hope all goes well.

Post # 6
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m so sorry for you and your family with this news. I know “non-refundable” typically means “non-refundable” but would it be possible to speak with your venue, explain the situation, and see if they can offer suggestions to help you out somehow should it come to it? I know they have a business to run, too, but seeing as your date is so far out already, perhaps they’d be flexible for you under these extreme circumstances? You’d be surprised how compassionate people can be. Just a thought.

I think you should still research and go to bridal shows but wait on putting down deposits. There is so much to explore so give yourself a chance to absorb that knowledge now, little by little. You deserve to be happy and have an outlet from all the sadness around you. It will revive you and make you stronger for you to support those around you.

Blessings to your Future Mother-In-Law and your whole family.

Post # 7
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t even know what to say!  How devastating!  I’m so sorry that she and the rest of your family has to go through this.  

I agree with the PP.  Be prepared for anything and play it be ear.  I wouldn’t give up on the wedding planning though.  My family had been very stressed lately.  But my mom actually lights up when we’re discussing wedding related items.  It’s the one thing that serves as a distraction and helps take her mind off of everything else.  

It sounds like you have your priorities in order and you’re right to be concerned.  πŸ™

I’ll keep her in my prayers.

Post # 8
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

So sorry to hear what you are going through.  When you talk with your venue, explore the option of moving your date as well as canceling.  The facility may be more accomodating on that given that your date is a ways out.  I assume you would still want your venue, but are realizing you may need to move the date due to her health.  

Post # 10
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Right now your Fiance is probably going through a lot, and I think the most important thing at this immediate moment is to be strong for him.

In the slightly longer term, however, continuing to plan the wedding I think would be the best course of action. It will give the two of you something besides worry to keep your minds occupied, and more importantly, it will give your Future Mother-In-Law something important to look forward to (which, depending on how bad it ends up being, could be very important.)

I don’t have any relevant experience that would help re: rescheduling/vendors, but I will say an extra prayer for your Future Mother-In-Law and family.

Post # 11
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I had a similar situation in my family and as it turned out the wedding gave her something to look forward to and basically a reason to live. The wedding was an amazing reunion of family and friends, gave some people the opportunity to see each other one last time and for a joyous occasion. Just keep moving forward. Best of luck!

Post # 12
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am so sorry that you are going through this. We just found out that my Future Father-In-Law has stage 4 colon cancer, which took us all by surprise as well. This has really helped us focus on what is important to us in a wedding, rather than getting caught up in the small details. It has broughten us back to our “roots”.  WE have decided to change up our plans and instead of having a large wedding, we are having a family only with our closest friends wedding at our same venue. The reception will be held in my parent’s gorgeous backyard (this is what I wanted from the beginning!). Small, simple, and romantic! πŸ™‚ 

Our wedding reception venue was very understanding, and they are not charging us for cancelling. We are still having our ceremony at that same location, so our deposit is covering our ceremony cost. Everyone has been very understanding, and we have learned to be flexible. We are prepared to move the wedding up if necessary, but for now we are continuing on with our new, improved, and stress-free plans!

For us, this is what is working. When life takes a devasting turn, it really puts everything into perspective. Choosing napkin colors and chair sashes were not as important to us as making sure that we have a wedding that is flexible and celebrates us and the most important people in our lives. My thoughts and prayers go out to your new family during these trying times. πŸ™‚

Post # 13
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I also agree with PP’s that continuing your plans would give her something to look forward to and another reason to fight even harder! 

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