(Closed) Horrible waiting weekend

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1768 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

@kendra389:  Whatever his words are , his actions say he is not interested in marrying you, at least not now. Yes he talks about rings, plans briefly but talk is cheap-it never happens.  In another post-you said, he has told you he doesn’t want to get married for 5 or 6 more years. He is a 27 y/o man who has long graduated, has been working 5 yrs, even bought his own home a year ago and is talking about all the big purchases he wants to make this year for himself and his home. You’ve been with him almost 3 years but when his friend told him to get a ring for you, his response was “stfu”.  That speaks volumes.

Yes you’re young, however that doesn’t mean it’s ok to mark time with someone who is not on the same page. You said: “I know he wants to spend his life with me”. You mean you hope, he does.  At this point, that’s not evident.  Are you willing to continue for 5 more years hoping someday he’ll feel the same way about you as you feel about him and want to marry you?? A self esteem killer for sure….

They’ll be people who’ll tell you to wait etc, even girls in similar circumstances, you’ll be told you’re young, it worked out for so & so after 5 years (insert “magic” number) or that maybe he is feeling/thinking this or that yada yada.(Shades of the movie: “He’s just not that into You”.) Don’t believe them. Stop selling yourself short.

Stop waiting. Start doing your own thing, move out and take care of yourself as he is taking care of himself ie his plans above that he told his friend. No ultimatums.  If you are truely important to him,  he’ll show up at your door with a ring and a date to marry.

As it stands now, he has all the benefits without any real responsibility to you.


Stop acting like his wife until he makes you one.


Sorry hon.

Post # 5
1176 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@gemgirl6:  +1

Post # 7
12244 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@kendra389:  Yeah, men are awful like that! My Fiance is 27. He refered to engagement as “something in the distant future” THE DAY WE GOT ENGAGED!

But your Fiance has some screwey priorities. I would say it’s time to start working on YOUR hopes and dreams and see if he still fits in them, and if you even want him to!

Post # 8
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@gemgirl6:    +1000000

You couldn’t have said it better. The problem with the “He’s just not that into you” rule exceptions is that they are just that: exceptions. Expecting to be the exception will most likely only leave you disappointed. OP – He sounds like he is stringing you along big time. Please do yourself a favor and walk. If he is meant to be in your life, he will be. If not, you’ll be glad you left now and not later. You are SO much better than this!

Post # 9
314 posts
Helper bee

Yea….He doesn’t sound like his mind is quite set on marriage. Has he given you a timeline? Have you sat him down and discussed this with him?

Post # 10
1540 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Have you talked to him specifically about how important marriage/proposal is to you? maybe you should discuss it with him and see what he says. i think waiting another 5 years or something is a bit crazy especially if he has nothing holding him back (financially). men sometimes don’t really understand how important it is for us. some of them don’t really hold it as important as women do. Try to express how you feel to him. If he doesn’t understand and give you a reasonable timeline/answer, then I’d rethink everything

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