(Closed) Horrible Weekend. VENT

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

You should be mad at his brother and his wife. You should also talk to your Fiance and let it be known that they will never again stay at the house. Don’t scream at him about it. Just let him know how you feel about felt about it the whole weekend. Tell him the next time they come in they have to stay at a hotel.

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i dont know about not being the brightest but they sure sound dirty, lazy and not to mention financial leeches to me – what parent goes on a road trip and not packs pj’s or baby supplies for their own children?

as far as not marrying your Fiance, get better first and then sit down and talk to him – try not to criticise his family but their actions but today is not the day for that, both of you are tired and stressed

vent away and go have a hot bath, you have earned it *hugs*

 

 

Post # 5
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I would talk to him about it. First, appologize for yelling at him so he will be willing to listen to you and then tell him why you got so upset. Maybe if you stay calm it won’t start a fight. I know that I’m always more inclined to yell or get upset easily when I’m sick.

Post # 6
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Just wondring if it would matter if the bad parents were blaring any type of music other than rap music while they drove…

 

Anyhoo, it sounds as though you need some rest and you have learned a valuable lesson about your FI’s relatives. Get some rest, calm down and then approach Fiance in an unemotional and rational manner and let him know that the weekend was stressful and that you do not wish to entertain these re;atives again in the future. It shouldn’t be a deal-breaker because you aren’t marrying them, you’re marrying Fiance. Be thankful that he doesn’t share their lack of hygiene!

Post # 7
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think this was just a sucky weekend in general.

No advice, but just wanted to give you a big HUG!!!

Post # 8
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am sorry to hear about this.   So annoying.  However, you in laws sound just like my family when i was a kid.  Those poor kids.  I am glad you gave them a bath.

Post # 14
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

just wanted to give my 2 cents that i think rap music IS worse than other music for kids to listen to – i guess it depends on the artist and song, but rap music often contains vulgar lyrics and swear words, no? i would think that is more inappropriate than other types of music. call me judgmental if you want, but that’s how i feel.  Blaring any kind of music that loud is also not good for the ears i am sure.

 

@SharonH22:  i think you are incredibly kind and patient for all that you did this weekend and hopefully your Fiance will see it that way too once you feel better and can communicate it to him in a more constructive manner.  it is his family, so its understandable he would be defensive about it. but i don’t think you are wrong at all for feeling how you did and despite what you think/feel about his family, you were considerate enough to do all those things for them.

Post # 16
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I totally feel your pain. This happened to us twice early on and since we live in a small 1 bedroom loft style apartment in NYC it is a HUGE imposition when guests want to stay overnight. I didn’t know how to handle it these first two times, DH’s male relatives came unannounced and stayed for several days, the whole time not telling us when they planned on leaving. I can’t begin to express how stressful this is on us when we have a regular schedule, plans with our firends, etc. we have to cancel at a whim. We can’t avoid it though. The only way our family can visit is by staying with us, no one can afford the price of a NYC hotel.

As much as it annoyed me to have no privacy and not even the courtesy of knowing when guests would be arriving and departing (dont’ get me started on this) I’ve actually learned to embrace it. I focus more on how happy the visit is making Darling Husband and the imposition doesn’t seem so bad anymore. Without me asking, Darling Husband usually steps it up with the housework when his guests are visiting so the overall burden on me is a lot lighter. And we’ve agreed that during the work week if his guests want to hang out at night he has to take them out of the apartment, to a bar or friends place so I can sleep.

While not perfect, it works. My sanity is restored and I’m actually happy that these visits, while slightly inconvenient are making my Darling Husband very happy to see family.

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