(Closed) Horrifed-OMG-help?!?!?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@gingernutjo:  +1000. This person here knows what she’s talking about.

 

How can you be insecure about some random girl? To me this sounds like you are insecure about your relationship, or yourself.

Post # 34
Member
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@veryberry13:  He has all the control in your relationship unfortuntately… and he is using it against you…he is immature and no way in hell is ready to get married…sorry but I think you need to take a couple of steps back and wait for someone maybe a little older or more mature.

Post # 36
Member
5 posts
Newbee

Clearly, “she” is an important instrument when she is around because if she were just a friend you would:

  1. Be invited  or;
  2. Have gotten a text

He’s disrespectful, immature and doesn’t have respect for you as an individual. He said he doesn’t want to marry you because HIS actions towards you make him insecure. I think you won the lottery here and should run as far into the abyss as you can. Your SO should be upset that you were upset. He should want to confort you and ensure that you are not insecure. He sounds like a class act.

Post # 37
Member
1017 posts
Bumble bee

Always believe a man when he says he does not want to marry you.  That’s it, point blank.  There is no hidden meaning.  He means he does not want to marry you.  

Post # 38
Member
3189 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@mypinkshoes:  +1. I’m a little baffled by everyone going on about how disrespectful he is to hang out with this girl and not text her all day. Do that many bees really sit at home moping around and waiting for a text when their guy is out with friends, then get upset if one of the friends there was a girl? Because if so, sorry guys, but I think I can tell you why you’re still on the waiting boards…your last sentence sums that up pretty perfectly.

Post # 39
Member
315 posts
Helper bee

@Sunflower–girl:  Agreed!

 

When someone tells you how they really feel, listen! My ex would say stuff like this in a moment of passion, then tone it down or rephrase it in a nice way later, but if he says stuff like this at any point, it’s NOT a good sign. I would encourage you to take a step back from your relationship.

Did this whole spat take place in public? If so, that’s an even bigger reason to get OUT before you’re committed for good.

Post # 40
Member
408 posts
Helper bee

@Wonderstruck:  harsh much? Kinda reminds of someone who says no offense but they’re really trying to offend lol. Having time of his own is fine. That wouldn’t be the issue atleast to me, hanging out with someone she clearly stated  she is uncomfortable with all day behind her back is why I said there’s a lack of respect there. 

He didn’t take her feelings into consideration meaning a lack of respect there. I don’t think this is just about her being a girl,  maybe there is a little insecurity there but looking at her following post I can see why there would be a question mark there. There clearly aren’t boundaries there.

Post # 43
Member
3189 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@NickiBee:  I wish she had said why she is uncomfortable with this other girl. Because if there isn’t really a reason than I can see her insecurity really bothering her guy. If there is a valid reason I would have different advice, but it’s hard to say without any details. But no, I don’t think it’s harsh to say that I understand why someone’s SO hasn’t proposed yet if they’re coming across as needy and insecure – after all, Mr. Bee’s plan is basically about being the opposite of that, and I know a lot of girls on here have had great results from using it. And unless she has a solid reason to dislike this girl, getting mad because your guy didn’t text you when he was out with his friends and disliking his female friends being there does come across that way. I agree that people should take their SO’s feelings into consideration, but I don’t think it’s inconsiderate of him to not text her – he got ahold of her and came to hang out once he was done, and I’d never expect my DH to check in when he’s out with friends – he’s my husband, not my child (I know some bees feel differently about checking in, but that’s my opinion.) And as far as the female firend goes, it’s hard to say who is the one being inconsiderate about that, the OP or her guy, without knowing more details.

Post # 44
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@OctBride-2012:  Thanks! I learned all this stuff by making the same mistakes myself! Oh well, that’s life! 

Post # 45
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@veryberry13:  It would freak me out too – other girl or not. If Fiance went out all day and didn’t message me I’d be pissed off because anything can happen. He could be in an accident or get hijacked. No, I am not neurotic because these are everyday tragedies around here.

The least I expect is know where he is and for how long. Also, honesty about WHO he is with should be a given.

As for the not wanting to marry you bit, well now, that’s just a shitty thing to say to someone.

Post # 46
Member
5360 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@This Time Round:  +1 to everything you said.

View original reply
@veryberry13: Not responding and hanging out with someone you are not comfortable with was inconsiderate and rude. The text was downright mean. Personally, I would not find this acceptable in my relationship. 

Post # 47
Member
1845 posts
Buzzing bee

@housebee:  “Should I back down and pretend like nothing bothers me?

@veryberry13:  Nope.  You shouldn’t have to fake your feelings just to be with the person you want to marry.  If your feelings aren’t important enough for him to take into consideration, he’s not worth marrying.”

+1.

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