(Closed) Horrifed-OMG-help?!?!?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 48
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee

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@NickiBee:  

So  hes pretty much dangling the carrot in your face. He knows how much you want to marry him and he hurts you purposely by saying what he did.

+1,000 on this.
 
If I ever heard those words used against me like that, I would be packing my bags so fast, he wouldn’t know what hit him.
 
Even if he had said “I’m not sure I want to marry you” gently within the context of a loving conversation about the future — I would pack my bags.

 

The fact that he said it in a way to be hurtful towards you just makes it worse.

Believe him. He’s telling you the truth. A man who really loves you and really wants to be with you forever — a man who is “The One” — would never say a thing like that to you.
 
Don’t waste your time, girl. I know it would probably break your heart in two to leave him, but imagine how much worse it would be to stay with someone who talks to you like that. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

Post # 49
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee

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@Omgbunnies:  

He said he doesn’t want to marry you. What else do you need to hear?

@Sunflower–girl: 
Always believe a man when he says he does not want to marry you.  That’s it, point blank.  There is no hidden meaning.  He means he does not want to marry you.

 

+1,000 on this as well.

Sometimes the truth is so simple and crystal clear that we can’t see it right underneath our noses. Don’t waste one minute second-guessing yourself or blaming yourself. Trust your instincts and your gut.

Post # 50
Member
292 posts
Helper bee

@Sunflower–girl:  <—She’s got it right. If he said he doesn’t want to marry you, then he doesn’t. Is it possible you just really want to get married and this guy came around at what feels like the right time?

Post # 51
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would have a chat about ground rules and see if he is on the same page? it sounds not at this stage… my SO is seriously independent and whilst I trust him totally he does often go ot all day or for the night/ stay at a friends and sometimes he doesnt text religiously. Our ground rules are though

if you are staying at a friends, I need to know 

If you are going to be way later than anticipated- a text

if we are apart from each other, a text a day at least.. ideally a call

It wrks for us, and thats the main thing. I think there is something to be said for independance on both sides, but it has to be mutual. Try to discuss calmly.. ask what he meant and decide what you both are and are not happy with… ie if you were out all day with a bunch of guys, would he be concerned not to get a text? maybe not, maybe he is more open to the idea but you need to understand where each other is coming from.

Just try not to get into a tit-for-tat situation and I have no doubt this will help. In the meantime try to spend some time doing nice things yourself..

Post # 53
Member
3507 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@veryberry13:  He’s a total ass!!! If he doesn’t wanna marry you his lost!

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