(Closed) Host not paying for shower

posted 4 years ago in Parties
Post # 31
7268 posts
Busy Beekeeper

This is crazy, especially given that you co-hosted (and presumably co-paid for) HER shower! I would be tempted to write back and say ok understood, by the way please see attached an invoice for your shower that I paid for a few yrs ago. You can mail a check or Venmo me asap, Kisses!!!

Post # 32
6582 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I really do hope you provide an update for this later.

Post # 33
608 posts
Busy bee

If there was genuinely a misunderstanding I might try to work out something with her but her response of “I’m not paying for your party was rude af. I would say “since you offered to host I honestly  did expect you to pay for at least most of it. I’m sorry but this isn’t in my budget and since I’d be paying I’d be hosting a party for myself with the purpose of people bringing me gifts which is considered rude so I will not be doing that.”

Post # 34
1277 posts
Bumble bee

” Hi Maid/Matron of Honor,  my apologies!  I thought you were hosting my bridal shower! My mistake. Looks like there has been some miscommunication. I will not be hosting and therefore will not be making any payments to the venue you selected. I’ve taken it upon myself to cancel the event so you don’t have to. Looking forward to seeing you for a visit soon!” 

Post # 35
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

That’s awkward AF. I wouldn’t let her walk all over you. 

“Hey girl. We’ve def had a miscommunication. Traditionally, the hosts cover the cost of wedding and baby showers etc This isn’t in my budget so let’s just cancel it and maybe have a low key gathering at x’s house”. 

Post # 36
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

View original reply
Peachytalk :  this!


the nerve of that bridesmaid!

Post # 37
1767 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
lemonadedreams : Did she pay for her own shower when you were MOH?

Post # 38
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969 - City, State

View original reply
katebluestone :  It was more of a rhetorical question since most PP commented on the monetary aspect. Just throwing it out there that she is also potentially adding more stress to OP by asking her to do one more thing. 

Post # 39
1196 posts
Bumble bee

ewwwwwwwwwww this is awkward. we hear all the time on the bee that you can’t expect anyone to throw you a shower (and you made it clear that you didn’t expect one) …that being said you should reasonably expect someone to throw you a party when they explicity offer and then plan said party!

“i really appreciate the thought, but apparently i misunderstood your offer to act as ‘party planner.’ for my shower. had i realized, i could have saved you time: i’m not comfortable hosting my own shower – it comes off as gift-grabby and in poor taste. i’m sorry we got our wires crossed on this. i’ve gone ahead and cancelled the arrangements,”

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