Post # 1
What is the expectation for my bridal shower: Am I expected to give gifts to all the hostesses? A few of my moms friends are hosting for me. If so, what is a good gift for multiple hosts? Do I give it to them day of or send to them after?
Post # 2
A simple “Thank-you” will suffice.
It’s a popular trend at the moment, for brides to think that they have to provide some sort of payment-in-kind as compensation to everyone who has contributed to planning their wedding or “wedding-related events;” that gifts are mandatory for some etiquette-defined list of recipients. Nothing could be further from the truth. Gifts are always voluntary, and are most charming when they are spontaneous.
Social notes are a different matter. For any substantial entertainment, you should always send a thank-you note to the hostess the next day, and you may send a small gift with the note. The gift should be personal and appropriate — based on your personal acquaintance with the hostess. Flowers, candy and wine are considered always appropriate. Showers, however, are most properly an intimate and informal occasion, so you can if you prefer get away with verbal thanks, and with bringing a hostess gift to the shower (IF you WANT to give one) instead of properly sending it the next day. If you decide to do that, make sure you hand it to your hostess discretely, and not in front of other guests. Your primary hostess is the lady at whose house the shower takes place. Since there are several hostesses, a gift that can be shared (like a large box of chocolates) is best.
Post # 3
Thank you, that’s very helpful! My mom’s friends are actually hosting it at my parents’ house, just because they have the best space for entertaining, though my mom is not a host. I think I’ll send thank you notes to all the women who organized it and perhaps some personalized stationary or something small as a thank you.
Post # 4
I have been thinking about this as well. I am leaning towards a bottle of wine and a thank you card for each of my bridesmaids. They all love wine, and it’s consumable which is nice. Some truffles might be another nice gesture if your friends don’t drink.
Post # 5
I was debating on this as well since I just had mine las weekend. Well FI’s mom called him and told him “it’s customary and good etiquette that she bring a gift for the hostess”.
His aunt was the “host” but it was at her daughter’s house so I brought them both a gift (candle & coffee mug). I barely know them so I was really stuck…
I was going to just send a really nice thank you card to each person but bc of Future Mother-In-Law that’s what I did.