Hostess taking advantage? at a loss how to handle….

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
2071 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

PS. from the sound of her email back to you, she definitely uninvited you, IMO. Cray cray.

Post # 17
Member
913 posts
Busy bee

Haha, wow. My friends and I take turn hosting similar events, and like your circle, the norm is to offer to bring something. Then the host/hostess will suggest something like a bottle of wine or a side/dessert/etc. I cannot believe she asked you to bring the main dish plus beverages and more. That is taking advantage.

I can understand why you chuckled in your email–I would have assumed she was joking, too! If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t follow up with another email. I would either skip it or, if my husband really still wanted to go, I would just show up, bring what I said we were going to bring (which sounds delicious, btw), be nice to her, and thank both of them sincerely for hosting.

You are not her caterer and she sounds like a weirdo.

Post # 18
Member
2929 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I would make a spectacular side dish AND an amazing dessert, buy a great bottle of wine, then stay home and eat it all without her. That’s fifty shades of cray cray right there.

Post # 19
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

I would go just to see if some poor sucker shows up with the turkey and all of the sides!  If she had the nerve to ask you to cater for her, surely she asked others when you declined!

Post # 20
Member
1818 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I would think it’s going to be a very tense dinner after the way she acted. I think I’d be making other plans for that night…

Post # 21
Member
1129 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

This is insane. And actually happened to me once. I was invited to an engagement party that was a bbq. When I offered to bring something, the bride asked me to bring burgers, hot dogs and buns for 20 as well as a salad and pop. I was flabbergasted and asked my Darling Husband what he thought. He said, respond to her saying you’ll bring a salad and a dip but that’s all. So that’s what I did. I don’t recall now but I’m pretty sure I didn’t get a response to that message. Some people are just unbelievably rude.

 

Post # 22
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I would bring a turkey, a rubber turkey, she never specified what kind of turkey she wanted.  I’ll also bring some “whine” with that turkey as well.  Yeah, I’m dyslexic, don’t hate. 

Post # 23
Member
1171 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

Does she want you to bring a table, oven and champagne too? 

Post # 24
Member
9675 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Hey, while you’re making the turkey and all the sides and also hosting her event would you mind also making a second turkey and mailing it to me? Extra dry, please! 

Thanks!!

Post # 25
Member
9342 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

 Yeah we’d be skipping this dinner.

Post # 26
Member
2071 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Bring her a frozen turkey!

Post # 27
Member
4235 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

btob17 :  Oh snap! I didn’t think of that! 

Post # 28
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

uh, girl is cray. i guess whether or not i’d go would depend on how much Darling Husband wants to go (it sounds like he’s friends with the guy and would want to go hang out). i would not bring anything more than a side and bottle of wine, and would not respond to her latest email. just show up with a big smile and be the better more normal person.

oh, and i’d probably bring popcorn because it’s likely there will be some other kind of drama going down based on those emails..

Post # 29
Member
3683 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Do you know any of the other wives/girlfriends attending? 

Post # 30
Member
11816 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

She’s certifiable. 

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