Post # 31
RobbieAndJuliahaha : are you freaking kidding me???? She asked you to make a turkey???? That is completely RUDE and also ridiculous. It takes HOURS to make a turkey much less the mess of transporting ect. She is insane!
It is my opinion that if some body offers to bring somethign you tell them ” Please do not feel obligated BUT if you would like to we could use a side or dessert” some thing easy!!!! If you host something at your home you provide the meal and drinks!
I personally would find it incredibly rude and would not attend the party, but if your Darling Husband wanted to attend I would bring the yummy side your described and a bottle of wine.
Shes crazy, lol
Post # 32
Thanks everyone for the replies, I was second guessing myself because I did make the initial offer, but her request seemed over the top and then her pissy response was a WTF? But I still couldn’t help wondering, maybe I should’ve just brought a turkey….
Decided against emailing her again, even to extend the olive branch. Partly because of the responses in here (especially about her twisting my words/ creating drama) and partly because another woman (her fiance is on DH’s team and she also plays in a women’s league with me) messaged me on FB to tell me she asked what to bring and was told to bring ‘a couple of cases of beer and a dessert or two’? Wtf? She hasn’t even replied because she was at a loss for words.
I don’t know if this woman is delegating herself right out of having to bring anything at all to her own event or what, but it’s bizarre. It’s not like she’s really young and has never hosted a party before (though you’d think common sense would rule out even a first time hostess doing this). They both have well paying jobs, not that this should be a reason, I’d rather host a party on a shoestring budget than impose on guestslike this, I’m just trying to rule stuff out here it’s so odd.
Post # 33
No, don’t second guess yourself! She is so far off base here that I have to wonder what her definition of “hosting” entails. There’s no way she’s been the guest at a party where she was expected to bring multiple sides or desserts since no one else could be that rude and crazy! I have no idea where she’s getting this idea from but her snippy response to you convinces me that she doesn’t live in the same reality you and I (and the rest of the Bees, apparently) reside in.
I was initially going to suggest going and bringing the delicious side you offered to make and a bottle of wine just so you can witness the crazy in person, and also to see which poor sucker got stuck bringing the turkey. But having seen your update I’d probably just decline the invitation. It sounds like this party will either be full of pissed off guests who had to cater the whole event or, if they don’t bow to her whims, there simply won’t be enough food and you’ll all go home hungry. Either way it sounds miserable.
Post # 34
Boxerlover24 : You make a good point about the time and awkwardness of transporting it in addition to the cost. And yes, as you and a few other Bees have mentioned, it’s customary for the host to provide the main course and to tell guests to please not feel obligated….but if they want to bring a side or dessert etc.
p.s. A couple of people mentioned that the side I offered to bring sounds yummy, it’s a Rachael Ray recipe & a family fave for veggie sides
Post # 35
YogaMama : I’m wondering if our hostesses are related. Burgers & hot dogs & buns for 20 is crazy enough on it’s own, but throwing in salad and pop is just the icing on the cake. lol why not just have the BBQ at your house at that point, she asked you to bring everything but the charcoal.
Post # 36
…if someone asked me to bring the turkey I would 100% assume it was a joke.
Post # 37
Soany fabulous opportunities to be incredibly passive aggressive! Show up with one of those Jenny O breasts just large enough for you and Fiance. Bring a package of lunch meat! Or a Lunchable (main course AND a side!)
I wouldn’t go. Because I like to be an asshole in my imagination and polite in real life. Ugh.
Post # 38
RobbieAndJuliahaha : my thoughts exactly. Haha! I’m going to have to check out your recipe. Sounds delish !
Post # 39
Dude. The host always cooks the Turkey. Duh. It’s hard enough getting a lava hot bird out of the oven without killing ourself, let alone getting it in the car and transporting it to someone else’s house. I’ve done Thanksgiving at my house a few times and if someone wants to bring something, I just ask for a dessert. I’ll take care of the meal.
Her bitchy response would piss me off to no end. I’d probably just not attend at all. That said, if this is someone that you’re going to have to be dealing with a lot, then I might try to smooth things over. But seriously… who asks a guest to bring that much?
Post # 40
I have never in my life heard of someone asking so much of a guest. I think I would anonymously send an etiquette book her way. It’s really for her own good.
Post # 41
I wouldn’t even participate in that foolishness. She’s off in the head. I wouldn’t contact her again either.
Post # 42
This woman is crazy and sounds like she wants to host a party without spending a penny.
It’s common in my area (UK) for bring and shares for everyone to chip in but they’re very informal gatherings. If you’re having guests over then it’s typical to bring a bottle or wine or spirits and maybe some nibbles for pre-dinner drinks.
Post # 43
This whole thing is so bizarre. I would have read her first email as joking too but then her follow up response is so ridiculous.
I’d be tempted to go just to see the crazy in person, especially knowing her crazy has extended to other people too.
Post # 44
Some people don’t know how to throw a party. If my friends and I together decide we’re going to have a party at one of our houses, then we will coordinate a potluck. If I, however, decide on my own volition to entertain, then I will only ask you to bring what you want to drink and even still I’ll be providing libations. Some people don’t know how to entertain.
Post # 45
What are the chances that she will cancel the party after receving a lot of preplexed or non-replies to her attempts to get others to provide all the food? I wouldn’t be at all surprised.