Post # 1
My cousin–with the help of my mom– is throwing me a shower in my hometown this weekend. I am very excited, sent them a list of people to invite and we talked about adding more– I included some of my moms friends as she requested, but explained why some people couldn’t be invited– they were not on the wedding guest list.
My cousin texted me to ask if her mother in law and aunt in law could come. I said yes, not even thinking… until my mom told me she invited one of her friends too– the mom of a girl and a guy my age on my guest list… and the mom is not invited to the wedding! It’s awkward because invitations went out last week… and she lives at the house where those 2 invitations were sent.
I could send her one, even though we cut the list, we are way over the guest list already and we are praying some people don’t come or they won’t fit in the venue… but it’s obvious the invitations have already gone out. She is coming to the shower. The wedding is not in the same town, so she may or may not come.
I doubt my cousins’ in-laws would come to the wedding. I am surprised they wanted to come to the shower, because i have met them about 3 times ever.
What to do?? Bring some invitations to the shower? I know my mom and cousin are just excited… but this is an awkward situation. :-/
Post # 3
Ok, here’s the deal as I see it: most people know the bride doesn’t throw her own shower. And yeah, guest lists get added to by others… so I don’t think that you necessarily have to invite these people. However, I think it would be gracious of you if you are able, to include them.
Or, perhaps, mention in your shower thank-you note how you regret the wedding having to be so small, and mention plans to have dinner with them shortly after the wedding. They’ll still feel included that way.
Post # 4
It’s just not possible to invite everyone! When everyone married people from their hometown and you knew everyone, THEN it was definitely rude not to invite people to both events, but I’m getting married in NC, Live in KY and my hometown is in Oregon! Both my shower and my Bachelorette party are being thrown by friends of mine in KY because most of them are not able to come to the wedding for various reasons. So it’s kindof nice that these people get to celebrate with you, even though you can’t invite everyone to the main event.
Cinema – Inviting them to dinner (if you can) is a great idea!
Post # 5
In my area it is very common to invite people to a shower who aren’t coming to a wedding. We’ve always been invited to 3rd cousin’s showers or coworker’s showers without getting an invite. I don’t think it’s a problem at all.
Post # 6
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about it. I know everyone says the hard and fast rule is that you have to invite everyone that comes to the shower, but I really don’t think that it matters all that much. I don’t think the person will be offended.