Post # 1
So I ran accross this on the Bee and evidently it’s proper etiquette to give a small token of thanks to the hostess(es) of your bridal showers. I’ve never heard of this nor have I ever seen this done. While I myself have never hosted anything, I have helped my mother and my sister host bridal and baby showers and never once have they received anything. No one thought twice because like I said…we had never heard of this!
So…is it true this is what is expected? Or is it like being thrown a birthday party in your honor..why do you need to give THEM a gift? Of course I would write them a nice thank you card. But is that acceptable?
Post # 3
@jgtexas22: I hadn’t heard of a gift before the bee either, or at least, not an elaborate token of thanks. I usually give a card, a hug, and a bottle of wine. For my shower I just purchsed my Maid/Matron of Honor a beautiful swarovski necklace to remember the event and show my sincere thanks because it will be a large shower and she’s throwing it on her. I think you should do what you feel is appropriate. I love giving gifts so I don’t mind an excuse to do so. 🙂
Post # 4
@jgtexas22: Gifts are always optional. A simple thank-you will suffice. When gifts are treated as expected, or non-optional, they start to feel like a fee for payment, and any thing that seems as though you are paying your hostess off for having invited you, or for having a fundraiser on your behalf, starts to feel rather tawdry. So no, absolutely not, no gift is required. Sit and enjoy your freedom from obligation for a moment.
Now remember that you do have an obligation to thank your hostess, always: whether she is a shower hostess or a dinner hostess or a wedding hostess; guests should send a thank-you note the next day. And if you feel moved to send some small token as well, you can be quite confident that your hostess will accept it. Make sure it is small so that it does not feel like a pay-off, and that you deliver it to her in such a way that the other guests do not notice and feel out-done by your superiour generosity, and that she does not have to drop her duties as hostess to deal with your present (as when roses are presented that will shortly begin to wilt if not put in water immediately.)
Post # 5
@aspasia475: @springbride23: Thanks ladies! I think I would feel comfortable sending the girls thank you cards, as I am getting them a nice piece of jewelry for being my bridesmaids and dealing with me through all of this 😉 I gave them nice boxes filled with lip gloss and nail polish and perfume when I asked them to be my Bridesmaids. If someone outside the bridal party throws me one (I’ve heard rumors of my mothers good friend) I might send them a nice orchid or something to show my gratitude for going out of her way.
Post # 6
I didn’t know about hostess gifts! My MOH/SIL will throw me a hometown shower, and I am already planning to give her a nice gift at the wedding. My two girlfriends and two aunts threw my local shower last week, and I only sent thank you notes! Better think!
Post # 7
The only thing I have ever seen at a bridal shower is that the groom brings flowers for both mothers. Unfortunately its not going to be possible to do so as both mothers are allergic to flowers (thats the reason for my girls and my silk bouquets AND a flowerless reception…all candles). I’m not sure what to do yet in this situation as my mother and one of my girls are hosting the bridal shower and my mother in law doesn’t have anything to do with the planning but she is doing other things for the wedding. I’ve never actually heard about getting them a gift. So many gifts for so many things!
Post # 8
@jgtexas22: I think something is expected, but it doesn’t have to be something big. We did a thank you note with a nice dessert (a key lime pielet and a fancy brownie)
Post # 9
I’ve never heard of a hostess gift from the bride to the person hosting the shower – it’s often the bridal party who receive thank you gifts for all they do.
When I think of a host/ess gift it’s something I bring when I’m invited to a person’s home for dinner or a party, not when someone is throwing me a party.
Post # 10
@jgtexas22: It’s the acknowledgement and thanks that counts the most, so I think you’re fine with only a thoughtful thank you card, especially if that is the norm among your friends and family. Among my friends, the norm is to give a thoughful card and a bottle of wine and/or flowers as a small token of thanks, so that’s what I’m used to doing.