Post # 17
We hosted our own and it was great! We got gifts, but its not a gift giving event so I didn’t feel it was poor etiquitte. We never asked for gifts, just for everyone to come, eat, drink, and celebrate with us. It’s no different than a birthday party – you throw it yourself and get gifts.
We paid for everything, but had my cousin and Maid/Matron of Honor run the game (there was one – just for laughs) and we said thank you. That was it. Keep it simple!
Post # 18
Father-In-Law threw us an engagement party in NY back in May and we’re throwing ourselves on the end of this month in Cali 🙂
Post # 19
Thanks for the support ladies. Our situation is actually more complex than i orinially posted. I actually grew up in the foster care system and do not have any “bride’s side”. As i said earlier we are financially more stable than the Fiance family and it just makes sense for us. I think its easier for us to say stick it to etiquette when it so clearly doesn’t apply to our family situation.
Anyway we’re really excited and nervous too. We’re realizing this is the largest event we’ve hosted! But we are soooo happy for the Fiance parents to be able to come up and see our house and stuff.
We got a large pot for pasta. Not really sure we know how to cook a meal for 16 people lol.
We picked up the cornhole boards today! Everyone is going to be so suprised.
Post # 20
I don’t think gifts are expected at engagement parties though, are they?
Fiance and I hosted our own. It wasn’t elaborate or anything. I work at a local hotel so I got a meeting space for free. We had a potluck to cut down on costs and it was basically only his family, so it wasn’t a traditional party in the sense that it wasn’t for our families to come together and meet (my mom had sort of disowned me at the time and my dad and his side of the family live 500 miles away, so I don’t have much of a bride’s side, either).
Post # 21
I think you’re right…not a gift giving party anyway.
Yours sounds great! Was there any format or timeline to your party?
Post # 22
Update: The party is this weekend. What started out as a four person guest list has grown to 16!!! Yeep!! Originally we invited two parents, my guardians, and two mentors. Since then my guardians can no longer attend because of a serious illness. A groomsmen found out about the party and said he would love to fly out to Seattle to attend. So then we decided to invite all of the bridal party just in case some would want to fly out…or at least not feel like only one groomsmen was invited. Then we thought we should invite our local guests since they’ll be traveling to CA for the wedding why not host a party they could attend with a lot less effort. So 16 it is.
So due to the different locales and roles in the wedding we decided to send out two invites…one for the day of the event (for local guests) and one for a weekend visit for our out of town guests. The weeked invite was for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Flash forward and 3 of our guests are arriving this Wednesday and two more are arriving on Thursday. 3 of the 5 are staying in our house!!! Not only that but they scheduled their flights home for Monday!! So we went from a weekend get together to almost a week long commitment. I’m sort of freaking out.
We’ve ALMOST finished all of our shopping. We’ve budgeted like crazy and so far we’re 80 under budget!! Go us!!! The total cost for the “event”/week long visit is costing around 2k!! Oh my!!
We got the cornhole boards awhile ago. We painted them white to debut at the engagement party. For the wedding we’ll have our logo painted on to give our guests a little suprise (and photo opps).
I’m going out to get my nails done on Wednesday with a fellow Seattle bride and then we’ll head to the airport to pick up our first guest.
I’m super excited and nervous. This is the largest event we’ve hosted. This is our first time showing our home to many of our guests…oh yah we have also been working non-stop on our yard. It looks great!
All that’s left is a few fingers crossed for this Seattle rain to dry up by Saturday.
Post # 23
You don’t receive gifts anengagement parties. That being said go ahead and throw your own EP! Have fun 🙂
Post # 24
Yay! Keep us posted on how it goes 🙂
Post # 25
Ok I def will! I’ll post pics 🙂 🙂
Post # 26
We hosted our own party with our family friends. It was a huge celebration over a night. Full of fun with loud music, food items and ofcourse drinks.
Post # 27
That sounds awesome! I kinda wish I was attending yours and not hosting mine!! So much work!! It’s 1am for us and we’re still up cleaning because we pick up our first guest today at 1pm.
Post # 28
We plan to host our own engagement party. We were in a long distance relationship prior to him moving to NY to be with me so this gives a chance for our family/friends to meet. We are doing it at a hall, cash bar. Him and I love to cook, so we will make all the food (which we are excited about). I am also making it very clear on the invites to come for fun, food, and laughs and please NO gifts. I was invited to an engagement party once and the invite had a registry card in it. T A C K Y!!
Post # 29
We are hosting our own engagement party as well. My mom reared her head at another party–I guess in her mind a party = more gifts, and she felt as if I will be having enough chances to get gifts from people and that it would be too much to expect gifts from anyone. I tried explaining to her that my intentions are not to get as many gifts as I can, but to celebrate our engagement with our friends. She still said she wanted nothing to do with an engagement party. At first I was upset, but whatever, it will be more fun if its just friends anyway!
So we are going to throw it at our favorite restaurant in Philadelphia, just friends (maybe 20 people?) and I am writing “please, no gifts” on the invitiation. Take that, Mom!
I honestly don’t think there is anything wrong with throwing your own engagement party. My thought process when it came to deciding to have one or not was that this will really be the only time that our friends will all be together before the rehearsal dinner. My girlfriends will be at the bridal shower, but the guys (obviously) won’t. The next “wedding-related event” is the rehearsal dinner! I don’t want to wait until the night before the wedding to celebrate. And to me, our engagement is definitely worth celebrating. So go for it!
Post # 30
So we made it through! It was incredible!! And though we hosted and paid for the entire party the Fiance family definitely helped us pull it all together and made sure everything ran smoothly so we could actually mingle and not be stuck in the kitchen. This also meant they spent a lot of time in the kitchen…but it was great. Everyone had sooo much fun. The Fiance gave the toast and thanked all of our guests for coming out to celebrate our engagement, congratulated one guest on an upcoming retirement, and congratulated his mom on her new job. It was sooooo fun!!!
It was pretty neat seeing the older folks, parents and guests of honor, interacting with our friends and bridal party in such a laid back and celebratory way. Everyone left saying really good things about the people they had met so I think this was definitely a good idea to get people acquainted before the wedding next June.
One couple has asked to be seated with another couple they met at the party…they got along so great.
Cornhole was also a hit! No Cornholios but a suprsing number of guests made it in the hole at least 1x.
Ohhh…and the FSI and I made chocolate covered strawberries with cream cheese filling and those were to die for.
FYI: We did not register and engagement parties are not gift giving parties but we did receieve some gifts, an entire china set from one of our guests of honor (it was her first china set in the 80’s and wayy gorgeous), two bottles of wine and an IOU dinner 🙂 a beautiful blue hydrangea plant from the Fiance family as well as a backyard portable fire pit for roasting marshmallows.
All the thank you cards are written and sent. I still need to put together pictures for all the guests. I’m not really sure how to share them. Email takes forever. And we all more or less spent about a week doing touristy and engagement stuff so it’s a lot of pics.
🙂 🙂 🙂
Post # 31
I personally see nothing wrong with it. We will probably be doing the same thing. I want to gather close friends and family to celebrate our engagement . I dont expect anyone to host one for us, I would rather us do it ourselves. just something simple that will give us some memories to share and to celebrate.