Hosting people nightmare/overreaction?

posted 4 months ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
1524 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

This friend is not a friend.  I don’t care how many years you’ve known her.  Don’t ever bother with her again.

Post # 32
Member
871 posts
Busy bee

Sansa85 :  IA it’s heartbreaking and frustrating and I’m sorry you’ve had to witness this first hand with your nephew, I’m glad to hear he’s doing better. 

And IMO actual friendships aren’t even possible with users because it’s all about them, they’re the type who expect everyone to help them out but would never think to help someone else out. They take and take but have zero fucks to actually give others. 

Post # 33
Member
6839 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

You’re friends with these people why…?

Post # 35
Member
5591 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

milksteak :  I wonder how he ended up on Ritalin? Doesn’t an evaluation have to be done before prescribing? Sadly, there are some garbage pediatricians out there and those pediatricians are the best fit for the uninvolved parents because the parents don’t have to do a thing because they think their kid is just fine 

Post # 36
Member
5591 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

You are lucky in that you can actually CHOOSE if you want this person in your life. I didn’t choose my bil, I go through periods of pulling away and then throwing myself back in to help his kids by being involved

I would have absolutely nothing to do with him if he 1) didn’t have kids and 2) wasn’t family 

Post # 37
Member
287 posts
Helper bee

Her 6 year old wears diapers?…. you sure her kids are okay because she seems like a total moron trash bag.

I would cut that friendship immediately. 

Post # 38
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

milksteak :  What does this person add to your life? Having known someone a long time is not a good enough reason to keep inviting a shit person to your home.

Post # 39
Member
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

milksteak :  Hearing these things about her son is particularly tragic because she is CLEARLY a terrible parent (sorry, but maybe it’s time that you acknowledge that no matter how much she’s “been there” for you, she is actually not a good person at all, as evidenced by her treatment of her own CHILD), which means this kid will likely never get the diagnosis and care that he needs. How can you respect someone like this? How can you gloss over her neglect of her child because she’s “been there” for you? 

Post # 40
Member
5591 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

obviousanonymous :  coming from experience, if you decide to stay in this persons life only for the kids, there is only so much you can do and it adds a lot of frustration to your life. Getting my bil to do ANYTHING for the kids is like pulling teeth. I got the evaluations set up for the four year old and the 17 month old. What I mean by garbage pediatricians is, the 17 month old is significantly delayed in her gross motor skills and his pediatrician said nothing (as far as we know anyway) they would never have gotten any kind of help if I didn’t start making phone calls and getting evaluations set up, I was thankfully able to get his go ahead

So much goes into this, he has to be open to my help, and even then, there’s only so much that I can do. Literally all I needed was his signature and his go ahead but all I could do was get everything set up and be there for the evaluations and stay in contact with the therapists and the teachers

I don’t think there’s a thing that op can do but separate herself. Being able to be involved is a curse in itself because you are limited and talking to the parent is like talking to a brick wall, meanwhile the help for the kids is just delayed. It’s awful to see, like you’re saying, they will never have a chance at a successful life 

It’s a horrible spot to be in, but his kids are winning just a little bit for the first time in their lives. There are so many times where I wished I just didn’t give a shit because it’s so hard

Ops post just hits me in every way, hits me in all of the feels

Post # 41
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

I don’t want to comment on if you should stay friends or not. I just want to say you sound like you were a great host. Sorry she treated you that way.

I cannot imagine imposing on anyone that way. Hell. My Mother-In-Law always wants to take my kid and watch her for me when we visit but I usually can’t even bring myself to let her until evening time because it’s my kid and my responsibility and I don’t want to just dump her on anyone like that. This means even on vacation I get up to give reflux meds and change diapers and everything. I don’t sleep in at all unless the baby goes back to bed after her morning changes and feeds. 

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