(Closed) Interacting socially with FI's former eff buddy (long)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What should I do in this scenario?
    Let your FI tell his sister : (49 votes)
    20 %
    Have FI talk to F and ask her not to come to events we're hosting : (54 votes)
    22 %
    Tell him you don't want her at your events and let him figure out how to handle it : (80 votes)
    32 %
    Get over it. Who cares if she's at housewarmings/the wedding/etc? : (61 votes)
    25 %
    Other : (3 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 91
    Member
    69 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I understand where you are coming from. My Fiance slept with his close family friend (like practically raised as a sister since he was 4) on and off for 3.5 years whenever they were both home and not in relationships. I knew this before we started dating and met her about 3 months into dating my Fiance. No one else in the family “knows”, although deep down I think everyone knows. There has been instances where she has gotten too close for comfort and I have been very upfront with my Fiance and let him know what is acceptable for me with them and what is not. She is now engaged and her Fiance does not have a clue what has happened. They bicker like brother and sister and share a unique relationship but I cannot get out of my head that they have slept together. I told him long before we got engaged that I did not want her in the wedding even though she is considered “family”. In fact, because she and I had a rocky relationship for other issues I did not want her knowing that he was going to proposed prior to doing it.

    Now we are getting married in Maui and taking just immediately family with us. His parents wanted to know if we were inviting her since she was basically raised as a sister. This wedding is going to be small, us, our best friends, my parents, his parents, and biological sister. A total of 11 people. Should I invite her since we are kind of friends now and also to make his family happy? Fiance is not pressuring me but I know he wants to invite her because he views her as a sister and his parents will probably want to say something. Part of me wants to invite her since we are friendly but part of me wants to stick to my guns.

    Post # 92
    Member
    546 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    View original reply
    Lizzie1116:  I just wanted to give a quick hell no. Your wedding, your guest list. Your fiancé should understand it makes you uncomfortable and side with you. I think you should let them talk or whatever at family events that she happens to be at without flipping out, but you do not need to invite her to your events. Oh, and the “she’s like family!” excuse goes out the window the second anything sexual happens.

     

     

    Post # 93
    Member
    16 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    She’s not really much of a “best friend” to have done that to your FI’s sister, it’s the responsibility of the people involved to tell your FI’s sister. Your Fiance should convince F to tell her “best friend” and if she doesnt, he should come clean about it. It doesn’t sound like eithe rof them are going anywhere so best have an uncomfortable and awkwad situation happen now than closer to the wedding date.

    Post # 94
    Member
    9576 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    View original reply
    Lizzie1116:  stick to your guns! that would not be okay with me either.

    The topic ‘Interacting socially with FI's former eff buddy (long)’ is closed to new replies.

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