(Closed) Houeshold questions for married ladies…

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 47
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

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DanniBee83:  1. I do all the laundry.

2. I cook most dinners, unless hubby grills.

3.  We both clean.

4 & 5.  We both work full time. 

Post # 48
Member
9121 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

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DanniBee83:  

1.  I do all the laundry – mine, his, and household items (including picking up strewn about clothes and putting away the clean clothes).

2.  In exchange, he does most of the cooking when he’s around (but he works late 3 days a week).  He loves cooking and I don’t, so it’s perfect.

3.  Chores – we share.  I do laundry and most of the decluttering around the house.  He cooks and does the dishes.  We have a cleaning lady who comes every 2 weeks, so neither of us do much scrubbing type cleaning.  We share the outside tasks…. I do more of the yard work, and he deals with the cars and garage.

4.  Yes I work full time.

5.  Yep he does too.  (3 to 4 12-hour shifts a week.)

Edited to add: Yeah you should definitely set up some household tasks that are his duty!  It’s not fair to have to do all of that unless you really enjoy homemaking.  This thing can be one of the biggest sources of household conflict so it’d be good to figure out a system before you start feeling resentful and taken for granted.

Post # 49
Member
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

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DanniBee83:  

1. Do you wash your spouses clothes or does he/she?  I do 95% of the laundry.  DH will throw a load in if he’s gone through more uniforms than normal during a week or he’s fresh out the field and just empties his bag right into the washer.  But everything else I do.

2. Do you share cooking during the week, or are you the only one who cooks?  I do most of the cooking.  I enjoy it though and like another PP said, I tend to be controlling in the kitchen and will step in/over if he’s doing it.  Plus, prep work isn’t his thing.  He gets flustered if there’s too many things to do at once.  He is by far more comfortable on the grill than in the kitchen.  So during summer time, we probably have a pretty even split on the cooking – DH on the grill, me in the kitchen.

3. Do you share cleaning chores, or are you the only one who cleans?  I clean. HAHA, I’m seeing a pattern here… but that’s because clutter, dust and dog hair bother me more than him.  I have come home from work to him cleaning the bathrooms on his day off though, saying “if we split the chores today we’ll get it done quicker and have more time together.” Love that man.

4. Do you work full-time?  No just part-time, which is why I have no problem doing most  of the chores right now.  But it’s just temporary.  My work field isn’t really available in the area we are in right now becauase of DH’s job.  But we’ll be moving again in September and I hope to re-join the full-time work force again!  We’ll see how the chores come out then.

5. Does your spouse work full-time?  I’d say MORE than full-time.  He works long hours 6 days a week, sometimes 7. 

 

Post # 50
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

1. Do you wash your spouses clothes or does he/she?

  • We keep our laundry separate. I send mine out and he usually does his at the laundromat. I think he will start sending his out soon too because he just got a job in another borough.

2. Do you share cooking during the week, or are you the only one who cooks?

  • I guess we share the cooking equally pretty much. He used to do all the cooking when he worked from home, and now I do most. He is the more interesting chef, but I am much better at preparing food quickly and with less mess. 

3. Do you share cleaning chores, or are you the only one who cleans?

  • I don’t mind cleaning that much and have a very high standard, so I do the majority. He definitely tries to keep up but we just don’t see the same things I think.

4. Do you work full-time?

  • Yes, I work full time in real estate.

5. Does your spouse work full-time?

  • Yes, he works full time in web development and technolgy.

 

We are fortunate to have two good jobs and no kids. This is the time in our lives where we want to build our careers and travel, go to nice dinners, throw fun parties, keep a very tidy house. If we have children, I imagine the dynamics will shift. Both of my parents worked sometimes and stayed home sometimes. I don’t think I would like staying home full time.

Post # 51
Member
2008 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

1. I do all of the laundry, as I don’t like other people washing or folding my clothes.

2. I do all of the cooking, but we eat out way more than we should. I usually cook 2x a week or so.

3. We share cleaning chores. I do most of the indoor stuff, but he does help (dishwasher, general pick up and organization, cleaning the guest bathroom since that’s usually where he gets ready). He does most of the outside stuff, like mowing the lawn and shoveling snow.

4&5. We both work full-time, but I usually work 35-40 hours a week while DH works 50-60.

I think it’s a good idea to have a conversation with your Fiance now about your wishes, as far as housework/cleaning goes. It sounds like he has no problem helping out when prompted, so maybe establishing some long-standing expectations now will save you some effort (and resentment) going into the future. 

Post # 52
Member
1443 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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DanniBee83: 

1. We swap out. Whoever throws a load in just does it. 

2. I am the primary cook. I could about 95% of the time. We eat out a lot though.  

3. We share cleaning. His domain is more of the bedroom and mine is the kitchen. We handle the other rooms as needed.  

4. Yes, we both work full time. I work more hours though.

Post # 53
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

1.    I do all the laundry.

2.   I’m the only one who cooks, but I don’t always cook every night.

3.   I do all of the cleaning but he does the yard work.  We’re thinking of hiring a maid.

4.   I don’t work outside of the home.

5.  My husband works a lot.

Post # 54
Member
4066 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

1. We both wash laundry, but I usually put it away. 

2. I cook mostly, but if we are grilling then he runs the show that day and I’ll help out with a smaller dish.  

3. I do mostly inside cleaning and he keeps the yard up. He does steam the floors though because he likes our steam mop lol. He also sweeps and vacuums occasionally. 

4. Yes, I work until 4 usually. 

5. Yes. He works until 330 most days but has recently been working overtime. 

Post # 55
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I think each couple finds their own balance with these kind of things, like my mum does all the “domestic” stuff, whilst my dad manages DIY, the Finances, admin etc. My ex used to take the piss and not do anything at all, which was the cause for many an argument, during one he owned up to not doing it because he knew I would eventually do it…

 

Anyway, on to my amazing Fiance and me:

1. Do you wash your spouses clothes or does he/she? Yes, when either of us does a load we will do a wash with both of our clothes and hang them up. He does more washes and hanging than I do.

2. Do you share cooking during the week, or are you the only one who cooks? For the most part we share the prep and cooking, split is probably 60/40 to him though.

3. Do you share cleaning chores, or are you the only one who cleans? Mainly him as he tends to do it whilst I’m at work.

4. Do you work full-time? Yes, on average I’m out of the house for about 11-12 hours of the day if I’m not seeing friends.

5. Does your spouse work full-time? He doesn’t work, which is why he does more, but his parents are not in the best health and he spends a fair amount of his time helping them out on a daily basis.

Post # 56
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

 

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DanniBee83:  

1. I do large loads on the weekends and if he runs out of clothes by the following weekend he’ll do a small load during the week.

2. We both do the cooking. He’ll either bbq and I do the sides or I’ll cook and he’ll do the chopping (if needs to be done)

3. I do all the house cleaning except take the trash out and cleaning the shower. He does the yard work.

4. I work full time

5. He works full time

Post # 57
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

1. I am washing all the clothes

2,3. 50-50

4. I work 2 days a week and study 3 days a week.

5. Fulltime: 12 hours, 4 working days – 4 days at home.

Post # 58
Member
1219 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I do all our washing and ironing

We share the cooking but he does more than me when he’s around

I do all the cleaning, unless he’s bored and asked if I need help, in which case I put him to work 😉

I’m a Stay-At-Home Wife due to circumstance. I gave up my job to move halfway around the world so I’m making the most of it. He works but on crews for up to 2 months at a time then has minimum 5 weeks off. I consider that since he earns all our money, I should do the rest.

Post # 59
Member
7881 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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DanniBee83:  

1. Do you wash your spouses clothes or does he/she? I try to wash his clothes, but he still likes doing it himself. 

2. Do you share cooking during the week, or are you the only one who cooks? He does more of the cooking because he enjoys it more. 

3. Do you share cleaning chores, or are you the only one who cleans? I tend to do more household cleaning than he does. 

4. Do you work full-time? Yes

5. Does your spouse work full-time? Yes

 

Post # 60
Member
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

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DanniBee83:  

1. Do you wash your spouses clothes or does he/she? – I do the wash, he may help sometimes.

2. Do you share cooking during the week, or are you the only one who cooks? – I always cook and buy the groceries. He always pays when we go out somehwere.

3. Do you share cleaning chores, or are you the only one who cleans? – I clean more but he will help. 

4. Do you work full-time? Yes. 

5. Does your spouse work full-time? Yes. 

If I was a housewife and he worked all of the time, I would do all of the above 100% of the time, as that would be my job but since we both work full time, he does help out. I’m particular in my ways and I also have a lower tolerance to “OMG the house is grossing me out” going on than he does. 

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