(Closed) house buying RANT (advice, please)

posted 5 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

@ciel:  You don’t need a plumber to buy a house.  My guess is that he’s doing more than simply buying a house.

Post # 4
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

My bf and I just bought a house and moved in 2 months ago. I am feeling the same exact way. He is LOSING his mind over every single house task. EVERY ONE. He can’t even seem to function if something doesn’t go EXACTLY as he thought it would.  In turn his stress and bad attitude, affect me and my attitude.

My plan is to find a calm time to discuss how much it affects me and upsets me. It’s also upsetting because I am waiting for him to propose, and I know it’s happening soon, but while he’s so concerned about something at the house, I get worried that a proposal is no where near his mind.

And even worse, he is making having our first home together really upsetting, instead of it being one of the happiest times of our life.

You are not alone!

Post # 5
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I was that stressed while buying our house. It’s very, very stressful. Lots of unknowns, a lot of money and emotion invested. And yes, it does get better!

Post # 6
Member
3108 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

omg- this is exactly how i was acting when i was going through the process. and as soon as i settled it was over and done. there are so many back and forths and opportunities for things to not work out- it’s very stressful. it will be over soon!

there’s nothing to do but let him vent. my poor SO had to hear it for weeks and weeks.

@Zemerald:  you don’t know that- maybe there’s something in the inspection and he needs a plumber to look at it. could be anything.

Post # 7
Member
9202 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Yikes, I hope he calms down after he owns the place. The long list of projects to be done, even if its in good shape, can be stressful.

i can relate though! There are a gazillion different people you have to interact with, and in my situation, they all seemed pretty incompetent. 

Post # 11
Member
84 posts
Worker bee

@mamadingdong:  When did I say I knew that?

@ciel:  That was my hunch.  Buying a house and renovating a house are two different things in terms of “Will it get better?”  The answer is a definite yes in both cases, but the timeframe is different.  Renovations can be quite the ordeal.

Post # 13
Member
3108 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@Zemerald:  You don’t need a plumber to buy a house.  My guess is that he’s doing more than simply buying a house.

You “guessed” sorry. But you’re wrong- in some cases you DO need a plumber to buy a house. I had an electrician in to check my place after the inspection. It wasn’t a renovation project, but there was a problem. And I was simply buying a house.

Post # 14
Member
3108 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@ciel:  I will admit, though, I handle any sort of stress TERRIBLY. My life is generally easy so any little thing can make me crazy and want to throw in the towel. I’m telling you- there are still things I want to get done in my house, but I’m pretty much back to normal. Listen as much as you can then change the subject 🙂

Good luck!! It’s a fun time!

Post # 15
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My FH bought us a house a little over a month ago and we did a TON of renovations and updating.  It took us nearly four weeks – we took all the popcorn ceilings down (my FH), had the house re-textured (my father), repainted EVERY inch of that house ourselves (with the exception of floors), and replaced interior doors and doorknobs.  The flooring had been replaced right before we moved – otherwise we wouldve replaced it also.

The stress and physical/emotional exhaustion definitely took a toll on both of us.  I definitely saw a side of my FH that I thought didnt exist… haha… He is MUCH better now that we are finished for now!!!  Next project – new faucets and a new front door!

Post # 16
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Be as supportive as you can. Try to not let him flounder. Home buying can be an extremely stressful time.  Since you will be living in the new home as well, own some of the process (if you arent already). Also sweat the big stuff!!!! Windows, roof, electric, plumbing, heating, and basement.

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