(Closed) House guest over wedding…. not sure how to handle this (long)

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I really don’t understand people who think the bride is responsible for housing them when they travel for a wedding.  I would NEVER ask to stay with the bride or groom around their wedding.

I think it is reasonable that she only stay 2 nights.  It may be difficult, but be politely firm that your mother had already booked the couch.  As far as baggage, if she travels a lot, she is probably a good packer.  Perhaps it’s just one large suitcase?  I would get explain the situation and get some clarification.  I understand the size of apartments in Europe, but I would probably just live with this piece of it.

Post # 4
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Georgia Bee: I agree with Georgia.  You’re doing so much to be helpful, but this is the LAST thing you should be worried about. 

Post # 5
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

I disagree.  You have already told her she could stay.  If you had a problem, that was the time to bring it up.  You said it was ok for her to stay 3 days and I think you need to honour that 3 day committment. 

You were under no obligation to help source her a room, though it was nice of you to have done so.  If you have already agreed to her leaving the bags, then I think you are stuck with that as well.  If you haven’t then I think a “I’m sorry that won’t be possible” is in order.

 

Post # 6
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am in a bit of a different situation.  I live in Boston but am getting married in Vermont.  I have 3 friends from England (plus 2 of their dates) and 1 friend from New Zealand who are coming over for the big day (btw – we are date twins!!!).  Not only are 3 of them staying in my tiny two bedroom but I have also asked my Future Sister-In-Law to house the other 3 while they are here!  They are arriving on the 25th and staying until the 31st or 1st of June.  I think that b/c they are spending a ridiculous amount of money to get over here – just to celebrate with me – the least I can do is help them out with accomodations – and I know they would do the same for me if I were to visit them (which I have in the past).  I have researched train rides, I am planning on picking them all up at the airport (3 different trips), I have researched car rentals, etc, etc.  I would do anything they ask really.  I know I may be adding extra stress and pressure and loads on my to do list – but I am just so thrilled to see them and have them be here –  I’m not going to worry about a thing.  The other way I am looking at it – is that now I have many hands to help me do all of my last minute tasks.  

 

I also agree with andilovesj – you should honour your three day promise.  Just breath, relax and HAVE FUN!!!  It’s your wedding!!!! 🙂

Post # 7
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I totally know where you’re coming from, you seem as though you covet your personal space (along with FH) and this IS going to be stressful, having another person around will only make the stress worse.

I myself am having a family of SIX staying with me in my not so big home the week before and week AFTER my wedding as they are the FH’s family.  Luckily though, I’ve warned everyone that I am not above getting my own hotel room or staying with my parents before the wedding; you do not have this option.

When you agreed she could stay with you, it was for 3 days, and it looks like you’ve figured out a solution for her to stay with the other visitor from Germany, however, because you agreed she could stay with you, I would leave it in her court.  But I would make the following perfectly clear: your mom has the couch, the apartment is tiny and frankly, you can’t be her tour guide during this time.  This actually might cause her to stay elsewhere (although I suspect you’ll be housing her luggage)…bonne chance!

Post # 8
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree with andlelovesj on this one. Your time to say no was when she asked. Nothing has really changed, I’m sure you felt uncomfortable back then thinking about her staying in your place and leaving her bags and I’m sure you knew that your fiance needs his space…but you said yes. So you really shouldn’t be trying to find a way to get out of a situation you fully agreed to. 

Post # 10
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@RomaBride…no tone here and no high horse. But this girl is going to Rome and you said she could stay with you. Regardles of whether she’s pushy or not you’re now thinking of backing out of your agreement a month before the event. She’ll have to go around looking for a new place to stay in another country. If something changed your situation drastically (your place is being fumagated and you’ll have to be in a hotel, she clearly can’t stay with you there) then that’s one thing but you had all the pieces of the puzzle before hand and feeling that you were “guilted” into agree isn’t really a great excuse to backout (great excuse to complain to friends, bad excuse to change your agreement with her…she’ll feel that she never guilted you but simply asked and you said yes).

Post # 11
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Umm… I really didn’t sense a “high horse” in @MayFlower0514’s response myself… it seemed the same as the other responses.  But whatever, I agree with the other posters.. I’d let her stay the three days. I would feel bad making her get somewhere to stay for only one day when she’s apparently leaving on the 22nd for Tuscany anyway, and has housing for the rest of the trip planned.

The topic ‘House guest over wedding…. not sure how to handle this (long)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors