House Hunting – Is Husband Too Picky?

posted 3 months ago in Home
Post # 17
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

He’s being immature and he owes you some decent answers.  

As far as the downtown thing, any chance he might either be thinking about changing jobs (to a company with a downtown office) or there might be something going on at work like a reorg where his office could get moved that he hasn’t told you about?

Or maybe he’s got this fantasy of moving to the right neighborhood and suddenly having a much more hip/cool lifestyle?

Post # 19
Member
2120 posts
Buzzing bee

kristin36890 :  I’d put my foot down and demand he answer the damn question like an adult or put off house hunting altogether and tell him that if you’re unable to find something in your price range in the distant future, then he will be solely to blame for all the money you’ll continue to waste on rent AND the lost potential equity. this involves your household financial situation for YEARS to come—a poop emoji ain’t gonna cut it.

when joint finances and long-term living situations are involved, it’s time-out for the bullshit.

Post # 20
Member
773 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

This sounds horribly frustrating. There’s clearly stuff going on here in his mind that he’s just not sharing, which is all kinds of incorrect. If he won’t talk to you, I’d consider a counselor. This is a serious decision and it’s not the time for a communication breakdown. I’d also try to be as supportive of him as possible. I know he’s acting like a twerp, but if he’s usually logical and is still all over zillow there’s something up that probably isn’t making him happy.

Post # 21
Member
3093 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

It sounds to me like he either has cold feet about buying a house at all, or he is dead set against living in that particular community for some reason (you said he’s said no to a couple houses in the same area). 

It’s ok for him to have emotional reasons against one place or another. What isn’t ok is for him to refuse to explain these reasons. 

Is it possible that he feels like he can’t explain his reasons to you because he knows they won’t make sense to you? Maybe he is embarassed about the way he feels, or feels like you judge him for being less “logical”? 

That doesn’t make it ok for him to just avoid the issue like he’s been doing, but it might give you a good starting point to have a more constructive conversation about it. 

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