(Closed) House or wedding first?

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Did you own a house when you got married?
    Yes : (96 votes)
    48 %
    No : (99 votes)
    49 %
    Other, please explain : (7 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    4439 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

    @futurejhart:  We bought a house shortly after getting engaged, but only because DH’s parents offered us a great amount of down payment money as our wedding gift (they said we could have it before the wedding because they’re against wasting money on renting).  Otherwise we would probably still be saving up for a house right now.

    Post # 4
    1186 posts
    Bumble bee

    @futurejhart:  I have only known one couple that spent the night in their new home the night of their wedding. All of my friends have lived in rentals for years until after their wedding.

    On the other hand, my cousin decided to do a very small $500 wedding on a Thursday morning, with 10 people. She wore a white sweater dress, had a bouquet, and was married in a park gazebo. They didn’t need a permit since it was a small group.

    They bought their house 3 weeks later 🙂

    Post # 5
    1042 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    We are getting married in a few days, and do not own a house, nor do we plan to anytime soon! We plan on leaving the country for a couple of years, so it just doesn’t make sense to buy a house for a year and then try to sell it.

    Post # 6
    9139 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    We didn’t own a house before getting married but we don’t plan to own a house for a least a few years if ever.  We’re not homeowners at this point in our lives.  I am just now turning 30 and with my job I need the flexibility to move quickly if I receive a job offer in another state.  It’s the only way I will significantly increase my salary.  Being tied down with a house is not a good idea unless you are settled in an area and plan to live there for the next 5-7 years.

    I say do a budget wedding or elope and buy a house.  You can always do a big vow renewal on your 5th or 10th anniversary.  But I guess it depends on your situation and income.

    Post # 7
    2685 posts
    Sugar bee

    We bought our house before we were even engaged.  Now, we’re engaged and planning a wedding in the backyard.  Best of both worlds 🙂

    I have no regrets on buying the house first.  We knew that we wanted to be together long term and that the house was the better financial decision at that time.  The market has been picking up in our area, and if we had waited we would have had to make compromises on location or ammenities.  

    Post # 8
    604 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    My now husband owned his condo before we got married and I moved in with him.  We live in DC too and we’d like to buy a bigger place sometime in the next couple of years but the prices are outrageous!  I’d prefer to be married before making such a big purchase together though. 

    Post # 9
    1901 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza

    Although Darling Husband and I are obviously committed to each other neither of us were really comfortable purchasing a house together until after we were married. We’ve been married for 1.5 years and probably won’t be buying a house for another year or so. Most married couples I know still rent and in NYC most people rent their whole lives!! Why do you think it’s strange to be married and renting??

    Post # 10
    168 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @futurejhart:  We’re getting married first. My parents are paying for most of the wedding, which helped make our decision. Also, we’re still pretty young and we might want to move around a little. I’m not ready to commit to a house yet! 🙂 But I will say that knowing we’re in an apartment with limited storage space definitely impacts our registry decisions and my wedding DIY projects.

    Post # 11
    58 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I’m not married, but I already own my own home, so I voted “Yes”.

    Post # 12
    1835 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor

    @futurejhart:  We did, but probably about half of our friends didn’t own a house when they got married. (DH owned a house – I was still renting an apartment right up until our wedding!) I don’t think it’s a big deal at all to keep renting once you’re married; that’s super common. Whether to have a wedding or house first depends on how soon you want to be married, and maybe the cost of living in your area, too – the cost of living here is very low, so it’s common for people in their 20s to own houses. But I know in other large cities like LA, NYC, Chicago, etc., real estate is really unaffordable and it takes much longer to save up a downpayment, so if I lived somewhere like that I wouldn’t want to wait forever to get married to buy a house.

    Post # 13
    3671 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @futurejhart:  Houses are more important than weddings but I also think that milestones should come on their own good time. Plenty of bees have had weddings/engagements get called off and then struggled because they have purchased a house with their previous partner. I feel like there is reason to the timeline of first comes love, marriage, house, and child. 

    That being said…it is a completely personal choice as to whether you think it is important to purchase a house now versus later on in life. I enjoy renting my apartment with my husband and will enjoy renting a home once he gets back from deployment. Buying a home will be an accomplishment and something I am not overly eager to rush too because after the home we will probably start the process of building a family and I have nothing but time. 


    Do what is best for you and consider your goals as a couple as well as your wants/needs


    Post # 14
    1901 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza

    @EllEmm005:  But I will say that knowing we’re in an apartment with limited storage space definitely impacts our registry decisions and my wedding DIY projects. Sorry if this is threadjacking, but I just had to LOL at this. Our apartment was like a ribbon and card stock explosion the months leading up to our wedding from my DIY projects and we kept so many of our gifts in my parents’ basement until we moved to our current (and much larger!) apartment.

    Post # 15
    5242 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @futurejhart:  Before we got married we lived with DH’s parents so logically we wanted to get out ASAP after the wedding!! We even thought about renting after the wedding as we didnt want to be married and still living with his parents. We were lucky enough to receive money from our wedding and from his parents that helped us with the purchase of our home. We found a home just a month after our wedding and moved out 2 months after that.

    Post # 16
    2118 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    We are not going to have a house for quite a while. My SO will be starting a PhD program next year, so we will be in an apartment. I don’t see a problem with renting for now. 

    Do whatever works for you as a couple. 

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