(Closed) House sharing with single female

posted 4 years ago in Married Life
Post # 61
Member
2326 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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ana2017 :  Yeah youre so right gays and lesbians are way safer to keep in the house. Never heard of a gay person commiting a crime

Post # 62
Member
200 posts
Helper bee

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Innerdonught :  not sure where in my post you read that?m.  Sounds like you are the ignorant one.

Post # 63
Member
2689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

To be fair I wouldn’t want to live with a single female either. It has nothing to do with not trusting the husband it’s just not appropriate IMO. Then again, on the flip side if he didn’t want to live with a single male I couldn’t blame him.

To be honest I find it weird for a married couple to share space with a complete stranger. Family, maybe but someone of the streets? No ma’am!

Post # 64
Member
7892 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Based on how you described your personality, it makes most sense to not have a housemate at all. It can be easy to read too much into a person’s intentions, and I think the situation could be even more awkward with someone you know if the arrangement sours. I suppose you could keep trying to find someone, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you aren’t able to find a suitable person. 

Post # 66
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Ugh. As a married person, I would never get a roomate. It’s not a jealousy/trust thing. It’s about sharing the space, when our home is our sanctuary and our place to be a married couple. I couldn’t sacrifice that. If money were an issue, I’d rather live in a smaller home.

Post # 68
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

OP I wouldn’t want a strange woman/man in my marital home either. Could be a recipe for disaster for numerous reasons. 

Post # 69
Member
7426 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

OP I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not being okay with this situation. It’s your home, and you need to be comfortable with whoever lives there with you.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being cautious and protective of your marriage. I also don’t think it’s terrible to admit if you have trust issues. I can openly admit that I have insecurities because my dad cheated on my mom repeatedly throughout their 30 year marriage. Stuff happens in life that sometimes stays with us. I don’t think you should pretend you are comfortable with something that you aren’t.

Post # 70
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

OP, I’d close this post down! You have EVERY right to say no! It’s like choosing a nanny for your kids… You want to be able to trust your gut feelings and know them quite some time before that kind of arrangement. Being introverted myself I get it. I wouldn’t want a woman who annoyed me in any way to live with me whether I had a husband or not! πŸ˜‚ You took a long time to choose your husband… Why choose another house “mate” without lots of time and consideration. Don’t feel bad you said no… 

 

Good for you for not giving in! I say congrats! 

People are being crazy rude here and have no signs of stopping. Like I said, I’d close it down and good for you for following your intuitions!

I vote no housemate. Move in a different place. Much easier than a housemate. 

I wouldn’t want my best friend, sister, mother, brother, bil (and I love them all to death!!!!!!! Such amazing relationships with all of them… I’m so blessed), anyone really living with my husband and I. Ruins a lot of the fun in marriage. I mean, sex in the kitchen… πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰ idk. Just sayin. Have fun and be proud to be introverted! Keep your home as your castle… Even if it means you live in less nice place. 

 

Post # 71
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

Leave trust out of it for a minute. 

Focus on 100% intrusion. 😳😳😳😳😳 ugh. Nightmare for an introvert. Man or woman. Old man or old woman. Doesn’t really matter. 

Your marriage is precious. Your place of living is far less precious than your relationship with your husband. <3 rent/buy something cheaper. 

Post # 74
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

Who cares about two years of more money when you’re sacrificing two or maybe more years of sanity/happiness/closeness/relaxation/intimacy? 

I would tell my DH no way, no how. 

Just my .02. 

Post # 75
Member
2326 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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gsdogs :  I’m not saying she needs a flatmate by any means. Since DH and I bought our home there’s no way we’d want someone in our space. I love living just the two of us and would never go back to flatmates.

BUT if you do want/need a flatmate, then to reject a potential one because she is single, attractive and female is craziness to me.

The topic ‘House sharing with single female’ is closed to new replies.

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