Post # 1
SO and I have been looking at houses a ton the last couple of days and we looked at rings and have had all sorts of talks about the logistics of moving in. SO is over the top happy too, very lovey and affectionate. Last night I overheard him telling his mom about the house hunting and how much he loves me. But he kept saying “if we take that next step” meaning get engaged. I kind of think he should be saying when not if 🙁 also he mentioned that he couldn’t buy a ring until he talked to my dad which surprised me. Last night we were joking around after a few glasses of wine and I said something along the lines of I love you even though you won’t marry me (complete with fake pouty face) and he laughed and started fake proposing by saying stuff like would you do me the honor of…turning off the light etc. I feel so nutty, half of me is really happy about all the good signs but parf of me thinks he is no closer to popping the question than he was a year ago. He knows I don’t want to live together without being married. I am just so sick of this rollercoaster!!!
Post # 3
@impatientlywaiting20: Have you had a serious discussion with him about how you feel? Is there a timeline established for when he will propose? It is totally possible that he doesn’t truly understand how you feel, and doesn’t understand that you don’t want to buy a house or live together before marriage.
Make it clear to him that you will not live together before marriage, and then don’t look at houses with him. I think you do have to “hold the line” here, just a bit, by not allowing the house conversation to continue.
Post # 4
I agree, I would tell him that you don’t want to buy a house before being on the same page about marriage. I would stop looking at houses together.
Post # 5
@LilacViolet: Thanks for your response! We have talked about timelines but he is really vague because he wants everything to be a surprise and I want it to be a surprise too! I keep getting the be patient, it will happen line. And most of me believes him. I think I am just frustrated. I have been as clear as humanly possible about the not moving before being married. I mean I have said that to him loud and clear several times and when he brings up the future I show him my pathetically empty ring finger and remind him that other things have to happen first. My optomistic side thinks everything will be ok but my pessimistic side is terrified that he is just never going to ask.
@MrsSaltWaterTaffy: Thanks for your response. I am not sure I can give up the looking at houses, it is awfully fun to daydream about the future lol! Please see above 🙂