(Closed) House vs. Wedding – What to save for?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 31
224 posts
Helper bee

We are managing to do both at once. My Fiance and I are planning on getting married Sept 2018, we are hoping to build a home this summer/fall. We are almost done saving for the down payment/closing costs and then we should have a little over a year to save for the wedding. Hoping to have some money left over from the proceeds of selling my bachorette condo to put towards the weddding but if we don’t get as much as we think for it and that money goes into the house then we’ll scale back on wedding plans.

A home is something you will live in for a long time/forever I think it should come before wedding planning but I do understand wanting to have a big wedding. 

My Fiance and I were long distance the first 2 years we dated, we both had credit cards with great travel rewards that we would use to fly back and forth to see each other. It helped our budget and made it so we could see each other a lot more often. If you are good at managing money and paying credit cards off each month it can be a good option to look into.

Post # 32
60 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

If yu can save money to do both then do both! If a wedding is important to you ( like it is to most girls whether or not they want to admit it) then you’ll regret in the long run not having one. There’s always going to be houses for sale. We’ve been saving for both and getting married next month. We were really trying to be in a house before the wedding but with living in NJ, the market is against us  and homes are being sold in a day. But we currently rent and our landlord has been great so we know we’ll find the right house when the time comes.. Until then, we get to have the wedding we wanted which I know I’ll never regret it!

Post # 33
621 posts
Busy bee

Would you and your family be ok with doing a more American style wedding? American style as in smaller and cutting down on a lot of ceremony so you’re only throwing a 1 day party. 

I think that this decision will have to depend on your housing market and your post-marriage plans. Realistically, whichever way you go, you’ll probably have to delay and scrimp for the other thing.

If you’re in an area that’s exploding, it makes sense to do the house before you get priced out of the market. That’s the reason we ourselves did the house first. In our case, the first two years were really hard financially. There was no money left over to save after all the home improvements and unplanned expenses of a house. We both got promotions and raises so we could save again but we really didn’t count on that. So buying a house meant that we are getting married 4 years later in a relatively cheaper wedding. It’s not a big deal for us and I don’t regret it. 

Let’s say you do the wedding first though and even with parental help pay 25k. How long will it take you to save that amount again? How old will you be and where will you be in your lives? Will you have children yet? Are you ok with starting your family in a rental? Or if you don’t have children in that amount of time, are you sure you’re going to be living in the same area, that your jobs won’t take you elsewhere? If you’re open to moving for your jobs, I’d wait until your lives settle down. 

Post # 34
7800 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

A house. A house is an investment, a wedding is a party. You can have an inexpensive party, but what is going to set you up for success in the future? Having a mortgage already half paid off by the time kids roll around? Or photos of a cool party you had 10 years ago?

We are one of the few that bought our house before getting married (or engaged!), and it worked out great. We put 20% down, and paid off extra each month until we got engaged. Then we put that extra towards the wedding. Once the wedding is over, we’ll continue contributing extra to the mortgage to get that bitch paid off.

Post # 35
912 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
akshali2000 :  I vote house. Have a small wedding.

Post # 37
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

we bought a house first and then got engaged and getting married this fall – the amt a wedding costs, we really wish we did a small courthouse wedding and put the money towards projects around the house! 

Post # 38
9779 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

We bought a house and scaled back on the wedding. Our wedding was small and intimate, but still beautiful. You can’t get equity from having a wedding. Owning our home for 5 years now, we have over $40k of equity in it, not to mention that property values have increased significantly in our neighborhood. 

Post # 41
8007 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
akshali2000 :  Small for me/my family would be 300+. Super small would be

You did say small would be 300+ — it may be skewing some of the responses you are receiving.

Post # 43
1270 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

For me it would depend on how far off from getting a deposit together for the house down payment you are. If you have a way to go, would suggest doing a smaller wedding now and carry on saving after. If you’re quite close, I would prioritise the house. At least where I live, property prices are growing faster than earnings! 

Post # 44
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

The rational choice would be a house. It makes sense if you think long term. However, if the wedding is THAT big of a deal to you, it might be better to go with that. 

Fiance and I are currently having the same talk, since we haven’t bought a house yet and we aren’t married yet either.

I REALLY want to buy a house and have a smaller wedding, I feel like it’s the perfect compromise, since we also want to start a family soon. But everyone is different and should do what you feel like works best for you. 

Post # 45
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Just start saving, and see where your priorities lie/what you can afford when it comes to decision time.

We’ve ended up going down the wedding route first, but we wouldn’t want to buy right now anyway because my Fiance needs to find and get settled in a job in a new area, then we’d want to rent there for 6-12 months so it hasn’t really affected us.

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