(Closed) House vs. Wedding – What to save for?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 61
Member
21 posts
Newbee

We are going with the “expensive wedding” first and then saving for a home. We are also in our mid twenties and aren’t sure where we want to settle down yet. We like living in the city now and renting and we’d have to move pretty far out of the city for it to be possible to buy home. 

We are happy with our choice but alot of people we know are having small weddings to go the house route – but they also live in the rural mid west and that makes a big difference. What helped us make our decision was the fact that at the end of the day we could have both – just not at the same time. We are paying for our wedding ourselves and by the wedding we won’t be in debt over it. That means after the wedding we can save for a home. We’re only 25 so – and loosing a year of saving for a home wasn’t worth sacrificing my dream wedding for. 

Granted if we didnt live in the city we would have most likely bought a house- but our lives would be very different than they are now and I can imagine my priorities would be much different as well. 

Post # 62
Member
685 posts
Busy bee

Wedding then house. You’re young, you have plenty of time to save for a home.  

Post # 64
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2019

A wedding is one day… a house is potentially a life time. 

Keep things in perspective 

Post # 65
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

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akshali2000 :  We are doing wedding and then house.

We are paying for the wedding ourselves, and are budgeting a fairly cheap (compared to the average)but all frills and decent guest list wedding, which comes to around $12000 + honeymoon.  Our honeymoon will be driving around our state in our 4wd going bushwalking and the like, so it won’t cost very much.

We are currently 25 + 30, and although we want to start a family etc, our big thing is that once you have a mortgage, you are commited to a mortgage.  We would rather tick a few things off our list first and then worry about buying a house.  Here in Australia, home ownership isn’t as important these days, I think due to the fact that houses are so ridiculously expensive, at least in Melbourne.  Most people I know my age have not bought a house and many never will.  If we bought a house before the wedding, the mortage would be far more expensive than our current rent, and we would find it very hard to save for a wedding.

 

I think at the end of the day you have to weigh up the pros and cons of each option for yourselves.  Without knowing your area, what budget you are thinking for a wedding, what houses cost in your area, what mortgage repayments would be, what kind of deposit you need, how much you earn, how much you’ll earn in 5 years etc etc, people can only go off their own experiences when giving you advice.  

Post # 66
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

You can do both – but you have to be super strategic about it.  We are buying a house first because that honestly took longer – maybe 18 months?  We bought a short sale and the sellers are covering our closing cost so I am expecting about $6k in deposit and escrows at closing.  We rolled our repairs (some upgrades) into the mortgage.  We are thinking the wedding is going to cost about 20k.  Which we will get a lot back from in tax refunds (my dads a cpa, so I structure my withholdings accordingly) and some cash for my parents. We carry minimal credit card debt and 2 car payments (both are used and he is a mechanic so we don’t have any repair cost), but the our mortgage payment is less than rent so we are actually saving money. 

You have to figure out which is easiest for you to handle.  There is no way I could have done this in reverse.  Buying a house is the most stressful thing I have ever done and there’s no way I could have tackled this after the wedding.  I can plan events in my sleep so this wedding is cakewalk for me – but picking out shower inserts and paint and everything is going to make my hair fall out, lol

Post # 67
Member
86 posts
Worker bee

Post # 68
Member
77 posts
Worker bee

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akshali2000 :  we are saving for both at the same time. We have two separate savings accounts: one house and the other wedding. We put a certain % of our checks in their each pay period. We are having a small wedding too (45 ppl) and we have a budget of $10,000 for wedding. Unfortunately we don’t have any financial help from our parents but my mom is quite the DIY queen so she will help offset a lot of wedding costs. We plan to use whatever money we get as gifts for our wedding to put into our down payment. Our goal is to be in a home, 6 months after our wedding. I didn’t want to do both wedding and closing a house too close together because I don’t need double the stress! Also, we are still aren’t sure on where you want to live, what kind/style of house and etc so we will just continue to save until we decide!

Post # 70
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

We are in a lucky situation where we have been saving for a house for almost as long as we have been together and my family is paying for majority of the wedding. Right now the housing market is HORRIBLE (at least where I am) houses are selling in hours and they are going 20,000-30,000 OVER the appraisal value. It has been really frustrating trying to find a house. We are getting married next month and with no house in sight right now, we will be temporarily living with my parents (SOOOO blessed for them). I say find what is most important to you. Also find a compromise. We are having a smaller wedding (about 100) so the cost isn’t overly outrageous.

Post # 71
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

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akshali2000 :  Hi. I understand the desire to have a big wedding and celebrate with family and friends. But I also think a house is a much better use of money than any wedding. 

My advice is to have a modest, budget-friendly wedding and save as much as possible for the house, whether you buy sooner or later, having $ will help for down payment and for a fund to make improvements, repairs, and to furnish your new home.

Good luck!

Post # 72
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee

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soon2behb :  I WISH houses in my area were only going $20-30k over! Here, the list/appraisal prices don’t really mean much – some 2-3br fixer uppers in bad neighborhoods are asking $700k+ and going for $1m+. It’s ghastly. So for me in my situation, I say wedding first, because buying a house just isn’t feasible… but if I lived in an area where home ownership were a real possibility, I’d say house for sure.

Post # 73
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2015

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akshali2000 :  OP, in this situation (& countless others when married), it’s going to be about compromise. You may have to give a little up/alter certain ideas, as he should do the same. I had started planning a fairly lavish wedding, still within our budget + with some family help. The stresses from that wedding planning, and my husband’s disagreement with where the money was being spent, created tension between us and unnecessary stress. Our compromise was to have a closed ceremony with immediate family, and a larger reception–our friends & family were simply happy we married! It’s different for everyone but our plan helped us save for our living arrangement, while allowing us to celebrate our nuptials with loved ones. Unconventional, but it’s worked for us and we’re still loving each other in marriage. Feel free to PM me. Blessings to you both!

Post # 74
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

We went for a house first. Then we got engaged. It’s worked well. We feel very secure in where we are in life. 

I have no family and only a handful of friends. So I would be able to pull off a small wedding, but that my Fiance has a large family that kind of demands a larger wedding. 

Post # 75
Member
1906 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

House house house house house house 

 

there isnt even even a question in my mind what is more important. You can still get married without the expensive wedding 

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