- 2 years ago
You can’t live in a wedding
You can’t live in a wedding
We bought our house about 3 years before our wedding. So, obviously, my recommendation is save for a house and a small wedding. A home is exponentially more rewarding than a big wedding. Getting married is so special, with or without the frills.
House values and interest rates will most likely continue to rise. The sooner you can build a down payment, the better off you’ll be.
Also, think of it this way. The more money you put towards your house, the higher the likelihood you get a home that has more of what you want and don’t have to settle. That’s something you live in every single day. Believe me, you want it to have add many of the key elements you’re looking for as possible.
I’m currently buying my first house with Darling Husband. Things are going to be a little tight at first, as we try to replenish both our savings and fix up the house as needed. $10-20k would go a long way, so I’ve certainly been thinking about it lately. (Depending on how much we scaled back E.g. if I didn’t buy a wedding dress and our only costs then were the ring, courthouse wedding, dinner for our immediate family at a nice restaurant we’d save just under $20k I’d guesstimate.)
honestly? I don’t think I’d change what we did… we loved our wedding, it’s a great memory for us and at least in the housing market we’re in.. it barely changes our finances. It’d mean we could do a bunch of things immediately, rather than spread our expenses over the next year or two.. but so what?
I’m just chiming in because everyone is urging you to go the practical route.. but you’ll notice a lot of people don’t strictly take their own advice.
So my advice is this: estimate the costs of 2 or 3 possible wedding scenarios. (you’ll need to look up vendor costs to do this)
(A) wedding with just family; courthouse; nice restaurant
(B) wedding with family and close friends; be super careful with budget; cut down on all unnecessary expenses (eg. DIY flowers, less expensive dress, DIY makeup)
(C) wedding with family and close friends: generally careful with budget but a few splurges.
Then see what the marginal cost of going from one to the other is, and what that price difference will get you when you’re looking to buy a house. How much those savings are, and what they mean to you, depend so much on how many people you’d invite, your local wedding costs, your local housing costs, and your income.
Best of luck.
A wedding usually lasts 4-6 hours. The most elaborate wedding I attended lasted 3 days.
If you can find a home that’s a good fit, you can enjoy it for 10+ years, depending on how/of your life circumstances change.
So logically the house is the better investment.
I get how you feel. I really do. My husband is inattentive and unromantic on his best days, so I wanted a really nice wedding to make up for it and give me one nice thing to remember while spending the rest of my life double-shifting while he’s perpetually distracted by ideas, projects. and shiny objects.
But Darling Husband wouldn’t put any of his money into it because he wanted to save for the house. So I had a small budget Friday night wedding. It was disappointing at the time, but now we are living in my dream house! It needs some updating but everything works, it has an amazing floor plan and the location is perfect. I’m so glad we didn’t blow our down payment on a party. I know you will feel similarly too!
Elopement bee here: save for the house. It’s not the wedding that matters, it’s the marriage. Don’t go broke over one day when you need a roof over your head. It blows my mind how people can go spend a fortune on an event then completely forget about life after the ceremony.
BostonBride0917 : I have exactly the same thinking! We are both in our mid twenties and want to do urban living for a few years. But, like other bees and you mentioned, I would never recommend going into substantial debt for a wedding (more than $5K).
is_a_belle : Interesting, that’s a good point actually. So what we ended up doing is discussing it. I care more about wedding than houses at this point in my life, so I will pay more for wedding related stuff. SO cares more about house, so he will start saving for that more. Hopefully in a year we will have enough to get married, and then a year after that we will have enough to start house searching.