Post # 1
Member
598 posts
Busy bee
I need advice beautiful bees!
I have a house with my ex that we got when we were still engaged about 7 years ago. Two years later, the relationship ended and I continued to honor my responsibility of paying half of the house out of fear my credit will suffer – even after he asked me to leave. About 6 months after I moved out, he’s was oh-so-generous to tell me I know longer had to pay for the house. My name was taken off the deed then too. Every year since, I get at least one phone call a year with a pitiful sob story about how the house payment is behind, he is having health issues, cant find a decent job, and so on. And like an idiot I gave him $$.
I have pleaded with him to PLEASE let’s find other alternatives: refinancing (he says he doesnt have the credfit or income to just have it in his name), have someone move in on a lease (he says he’s put too much work into the house to take the chance of a bad tenant ruining the place), and of course sell the place (the mortgage officer said we’d be upside down and end up with a loan to pay off what the buy-out doesnt cover), or a roommate (he’s had plenty but for some reason they never stay) Excuse after excuse. And I’ve called the mortgage company myself dozens of times to try to see if there is anything I can do and all they can do is send me a modification packet – sent by certified mail only – to the house, which of course I never get it.
I’m engaged to a wonderful man now and after helping the ex last year, I told him I couldnt do it anymore. And shocker – the payments are behind again.
There’s GOT to be another option other than foreclose obviously. Anyone else been in this situation? I’d love to hear your story so I dont feel so alone, or what you did to take care of it?
Post # 3
Member
14487 posts
Honey Beekeeper
I’m confused. You took your name off the deed but not the mortgage!? So you’re still on the hook for the payments, but have no right to the property?
Post # 4
Member
3136 posts
Sugar bee
@ShabbyChicBee: my friend was stuck for years on a mortgage with her ex husband. the only way to get her name off the loan was if he refinanced. it took years since the house had lost a lot of value after 2008.
this really, really sucks.
Post # 5
Member
8453 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@pinkshoes: +1, I was wondering this too. Why would anyone do that?
Post # 6
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: July 2013 - rolling hills of southern italy
sounds to me like you might better spend your money on a lawyer.
Post # 7
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@ShabbyChicBee: why did you take your name off of the deed and not off the mortgage?? you do realize that you are responsible for paying for this house for your ex.
your credit is going to be screwed b/c your ex can’t pay for his own house. i would pull my name from that mortgage and make your ex refinance. it’s his problem if he can’t afford it, not yours. yes, you may take a financial hit but you need to get cleared from this.
Post # 8
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
Lawyer up! This sounds like it is already pretty tangled, and you need to wipe your hands clean of this whole deal before you get married and start looking for your own house with new fiance.
And stop giving money to an ex for any reason, that’s just silly. If you’re responsible for the mortgage, that’s one thing – pay them or get out of it, but don’t give it directly to the guy you have no relationship with anymore. If he gets forclosed on, that’s his problem.
Post # 9
Member
731 posts
Busy bee
@ShabbyChicBee: I’m sorry you are going through this. My husband I went through the same thing with his ex-wife. He signed a Quick Claim Deed and we didn’t know what we were doing and that it only meant his name was taken off the deed but not the mortgage.
She passed away in 2010, and he couldn’t sell the house because his name wasn’t on it, but we still had to make payments. Her mom was in charge of her estate and was able to sell the house, that how we got out of it.
I think you should speak with a lawyer and see what your options are.
Post # 10
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
your name has still been on the mortgage.. of property you don’t live in!? girl, lawyer up!
Post # 11
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
Please oh please get a lawyer ASAP!
Post # 12
Member
777 posts
Busy bee
@ShabbyChicBee: The only other options are if he refinances or does a loan assumption, neither of which it sounds like he would be approved for.
Post # 13
Member
3136 posts
Sugar bee
There is nothing a lawyer can do in this situation. I went through this with my friend. You can’t force refinancing. Maybe a lawyer would help him see that you are serious…
Post # 14
Member
777 posts
Busy bee
@ShabbyChicBee: And are you SURE your name was taken off of the deed? You would’ve had to sign a deed to him (likely a Quit Claim Deed). They don’t just take names off. You should be able to search your county records.
Post # 15
Member
4371 posts
Honey bee
I am also confused. Are you on the deed? Are you on the mortgage?
Post # 16
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
Just out of stupid curiousity (I work for a loan company, but not mortgages).. Have you tried to google the forms? *most* forms can be found online because of someone scanning them and sharing them… Just a thought
