(Closed) HOUSTON brides – Cash Bar?

posted 9 years ago in Houston
  • poll: Is a cash bar COMMON for Houston weddings?
    Most of the Houston weddings I have been to have been cash bar. : (4 votes)
    8 %
    Most of the Houston weddings I have been to were open bar. : (38 votes)
    79 %
    Other? : (6 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 32
    Member
    160 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Deep breath, everyone.  It’s just alcohol.  I certainly agree that considering the desires of your guests is very important, so let’s look at that.  If the signature drink will be arak, consider who is on the guest list – are they mostly Lebanese?  Will they know what arak is, and how it tastes?  I personally love it, but folks who have little knowledge of the Lebanese culture may not enjoy it – or perhaps they will like trying something new!  Only the couple knows their guest list well enough to make that decision.  It’s a cute idea to put it in the fountain.  If you do decide to go for the arak, it may serve you well since people just don’t drink it that quickly.  It’s not Bud, you know?  On the other hand, if your guest list will consist mostly of non-Lebanese or non-adventurous folks, perhaps another route is best.  Maybe a dry reception, maybe a reception using a creative idea like the one above – cheap wine, new label!  Charles Shaw tastes just fine, is cheap cheap cheap, and your guests will never know. 

    Good luck!

    Post # 34
    Member
    160 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @evalague:

    LOL, then I think you will be just fine.  It will be an interesting thing, watching people try it and seeing what they think.  It’s even…kind of interactive.  I once busted out a bottle of it at a party here in America, and everyone was all hypnotized watching it turn white.  There were lots of ‘ooohs’ and ‘aaahs’, and even people who hated how it tasted remembered that party a year later because they got to try something different.  I say go for it, and enjoy your wedding.  Feel free to send me the leftovers, ha ha ha.

    Post # 35
    Member
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @CoffeeHound: The “WIC Mentality” is actually all about getting people to spend the most on their wedding as possible.  So actually your insistence that someone pay for an open bar is within the WIC Mentality, and you are merely propagating “their” interests.  Furthermore, if you remove the flowers, the food, the photographer and the dress you’re basically just hosting a frat party.  And while a booze-fest sounds like a blast to some people, I doubt anyone would describe it as “the best wedding ever.”  Unless they were alcoholic.  And delusional.

    I don’t think you are obligated to do anything just because it is expected/traditional/usually done in your geographical area.  If you can’t afford an open bar, don’t have one.  People who complain about it are ungrateful and have obviously forgotten the whole reason you have a wedding in the first place: FOR THE MARRIAGE.  All that is required at a wedding is the marriage of two people.  All that is required at a reception is the people.  Hence the term “reception” whereupon the family and friends RECEIVE the newly married couple and recognize them as such.

    Post # 37
    Member
    209 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    If I were in your shoes, I would go with your original plan of champagne toast and signature drink as well as punch.  Do not do a cash bar.  That’s my opinion … which should not matter to you as this is your wedding and you should do what you want to do or makes you most comfortable.

    Heck, there was only wine at the Wedding at Cana and I don’t recall the Bible ever talking about how people complained that there wasn’t an open bar! 

    Post # 38
    Member
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    What’s up with the name calling?  There’s a better way to express how you don’t agree with someone else’s opinion besides stooping to a new low. 

    Post # 39
    Member
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    @Nati-Lyte: Well there’s only one post that turned personal.  I think what happened is that someone had a cash bar and they personalize it when someone is opposed to cash bars.

     

    @MightySapphire: The WIC is about creating an attitude that results in an action.  There’s a latent dependency.  The attitude used as the control mechanism is to create a sense that weddings are about the bride and not about the guests or about hosting.  This is what has caused the radical change in cost and design in the last 10 years.  Saving money by going to a cash bar then rerouting that money to other aspects of the reception is the consequence.

    As for reception, you have it backwards.  The couple receives society not the other way around:

    A wedding reception is a party held after the completion of a marriage ceremony. It is held as hospitality for those who have attended the wedding, hence the name reception: the couple receives society, in the form of family and friends, for the first time as a married couple.

    You are hosting others at a reception and you should act as such.  The reception is for the guests, not the bride or groom.   You’re thanking people for attending your wedding.

     

    Post # 40
    Member
    103 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    @CoffeeHound, IMO, a moron is no worse than being called tacky. i could have easily also called you judgmental or ignorant.

    and for the record, i had a fixed tab open bar for liquor, but free wine, champagne and beer for the duration of my reception.

    Post # 41
    Member
    209 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    A wedding reception is a party held after the completion of a marriage ceremony. It is held as hospitality for those who have attended the wedding, hence the name reception: the couple receives society, in the form of family and friends, for the first time as a married couple.

    And EXACTLY where is alcohol or open bar mentioned in the above???  It says it’s a reception is where the couple receives society …  therefore, if I’m receiving society, it’s my choice to offer them whatever food and/or beverage I care to offer.  If it’s cake and champagne, then it’s cake and champagne.  If it’s a bologna sandwich and a glass of kool aid, then that’s what I’m offering.  Or, I could simply choose to offer nothing and accept their congratulations. 

    Post # 42
    Member
    541 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @evalague: Do what you can afford and feel comfortable with. I’ve been to weddings that have had open bars, half open half cash and even one wedding where the only drinks served were cans of soda and bottles of water out of a cooler. I had a good time at each and everyone of them, but I am also the kind of girl that doesn’t need alcohol to let loose and have a good time. To be honest, while having things I like to eat and drink at a wedding is nice, when I am a guest I could care less and definately would not judge someone for having A vs B.

    Post # 43
    Member
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I think it’s completely ridiculous to say it’s necessary to offer alcohol. I would prefer not to have any alcohol at my wedding but it isn’t my choice. Alcohol brings out the worst in people and it adds several grand to the bottom line.

    Post # 44
    Member
    1046 posts
    Bumble bee

    our wedding is in Houston and we are serving beer and wine.. no hard alcohol. We have a lot of people on both sides of our family who tend to drink way too much, so I figure if we aren’t serving hard alcohol it won’t be as bad.

    Plus… have you seen liquor prices these days!? it’s insane! Beer and wine is already expensive enough!

    But if you don’t drink and you don’t want to serve alcohol that is your choice… I would have done that too, but my step mom flipped out and since she is paying for the wedding I let her have her way. Hey, if she wants to shell out $2,500+ on beer and wine for distant relatives that is her prerogative!

    Post # 45
    Member
    937 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @evaleague- just because CoffeeHound thinks she speaks for the rest of us, doesn’t mean she does. I live in an area of the country where open bars ARE common, but that in no way means I think for one second that you are “tacky,” selfish, or a poor host because you choose (regardless of the reason) to have a cash bar at your wedding. Your guests are there to celebrate YOU and your Fiance, and to enjoy whatever type of reception you can afford to provide- not to get wasted at your reception.

     

    Post # 46
    Member
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    First of all, I’m not saying that you absolutely have to have an open bar.  As I mentioned, the problem with a cash bar is that people are digging for cash, running out to an ATM, asking other guests to borrow cash, etc. because they do not anticipate having to pay for the event. 

    If you’re having a low-budget wedding, and you honestly can’t afford alcohol, go with a dry wedding, or move it earlier in the day when people don’t want alcohol.  But if you’re wearing a $3,000 dress or bought a $1000 wedding album and you have a cash bar, that’s just being a bad host.

     

     

    @invalid_username: I called the idea of a cash bar tacky.  You called me a moron.  One attacks an idea, the other attacks a person.  Those are two completely different things.

     

    @LacrosseBride: It doesn’t say that.  However, what it does say is that you’re a host and you should be primarily concerned with being a good host.  Spending $3000 on flowers then $0 on alcohol is not being a good host – that’s thinking about yourself before your guests.

    The smartest thing the WIC ever did was convince brides that receptions are about them and not the guest.  If you’re buying me dinner, you’re going to buy something reasonable.  If you’re buying yourself dinner, you’re going to pay more because its for you and you have a vested interest in it’s quality.  So making the reception about you and not about the guests subconsciously convinces you to spend more, just like using a credit card causes you to spend more than when you use cash because you’re subconsciously disconnected from the cost with a credit card (to go full circle with the Dave Ramsey comment earlier). 

     

     

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