(Closed) HOUSTON brides – Cash Bar?

posted 9 years ago in Houston
  • poll: Is a cash bar COMMON for Houston weddings?
    Most of the Houston weddings I have been to have been cash bar. : (4 votes)
    8 %
    Most of the Houston weddings I have been to were open bar. : (38 votes)
    79 %
    Other? : (6 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 62
    Member
    1011 posts
    Bumble bee

    Yes, I see one too.  One whose posts only seem to do that.

    Post # 63
    Member
    937 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @vitsippa & iswimibikeirun- I totally agree. I am actually surprised the troll hasn’t gotten kicked off by now.

    Post # 64
    Member
    168 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    While I haven’t been to a cash bar wedding before, I really don’t think it’s tacky to have this.  If anything, it can be seen as considerate to your guests who would want alcohol b/c you could have easily just done without a bar completely! IMO, wedding receptions do not HAVE to have alcohol.  Just from some of the responses on your thread, there will probably be a few people who might be annoyed but really they are just being ungracious/rude.  The important thing is being there to celebrate you and your Fiance.  

    Post # 65
    Member
    1 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I agree with coffeehound on this one.  I don’t think there’s a problem with limiting the type of alcohol served–for example, the champagne toast plus beer and wine and the signature drink would be fine as long as there wasn’t a limited amount of the beer and wine and signature drink per person and anything over has to be paid for.  There’s no need to serve unlmited amounts of hard liquor at your wedding but you should not have the option for guests to pay for anything at all.  That’s like serving pasta for the dinner and but indicating on the menu that they can “upgrade” to lobster or steak for $xx.  There’s nothing wrong with serving pasta and not lobster/steak for dinner so why even mention the “upcharge.”  I would be really uncomfortable if I were at a cash bar wedding, honestly, and I do find it tacky.  I don’t see anything wrong with a bride and groom offering one kind of red wine, one kind of white and one or two types of beer and nothing else. I see that as an “open bar” even if doesn’t offer every kind of booze under the sun.  If you can’t afford to offering something to your guests then don’t offer it at all, basically.  A dry wedding would be fine and a wedding with only the champagne toast and a few glasses of the signature drink offered but nothing else available for purchase would be better than having a cash bar, IMO. 

    Post # 66
    Member
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @CoffeeHound: For someone who seems to throw around debate verbology, your logic is terribly flawed.

    “My argument isn’t that alcohol is required, it’s that a cash bar is tacky.  As you’ll see on the first page, I have no problem with a dry wedding.  The issue with a cash bar is that (1) you’re pushing your responsibility to the guests (whereas a dry wedding doesn’t give that impression), (2) you’re going to have guests clumsily handling money during the wedding, and (3) you’ll have guest unprepared that need to leave to find an ATM or borrow from other guests.”

    (1) It isn’t “your responsibility” to provide alcohol.  Thus it cannot be “pushed to the guests” since it does not exist in the first place.(2) None of my guests seemed to have such a problem with fine motor skills that they were “clumsily” pulling money out of their pocket to pay for the liquor that wasn’t included.(3) It isn’t my problem if someone doesn’t carry money on their person.  If they know it will be a cash bar, no sympathy from me.  Go find an ATM.

    Your reference of the creation of the attitude that alcohol is required is also false.  The attitude that is problematic is that guests are secondary at a wedding. That’s a false correlation fallacy. 

    See (1) above.  You have pretty much proven that you believe alcohol IS required, even if not in all situations.  So if there exists a WIC, and it does create attitudes, you have it.

    Also, the idea that one tradition has been broken, all can be broken is a composition fallacy.  Besides, the issue isn’t tradition, it’s providing your guests with common courtesy.

    Actually my composition logic is true, since the imaginary rules you are talking about refer to “etiquette.”  Etiquette is defined as “conventional requirements as to social behavior; proprieties of conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion.”  Parents hosting a wedding is conventional.  Brides and grooms paying for the entire wedding, Rehearsal Dinner, and bridal party attire is NOT conventional.  Since the bar tab is part of the finances, and this wedding is unconventional with respect to finances, they are not obligated to observe the “conventional requirements” of society AKA the “conventional requirements made up by WIC with regards to alcohol.”  Furthermore, I don’t recall Emily Post every writing an article about how aweful you are to provide a location where your guests may obtain liquor, free or otherwise.

    But I agree that we’ll have to agree to disagree.  Obviously, I find it tacky to have a cash bar and that is a common belief.  But it’s an opinion.  If some brides want to stick their head in the sand and pretend that’s not the prevailing opinion, that’s up to them.

    Common belief would indicate a majority.  That doesn’t seem to reflect on this thread.  Opinion?  Indeed.  And you’re right – some people do refuse to pull thier heads out.  Agreement accepted, we disagree.

     

    Post # 67
    Member
    2373 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2008

    This is one of those issues that people will never agree on- very similar to childless weddings.

     My personal view:

      I’d wouldn’t do it, but they don’t bother me.

    ((Totally Tacky Suggestion Alert))

    Have something on your reception card stating it is a cash bar if your venue doesn’t accept credit cards. If I showed up to a cash bar wedding and needed actual cash I’d be irritated.

     

    Post # 68
    Member
    570 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2009

    Girl, it’s fine.  You are only having a sort of cash bar, something that doesn’t really seem necessary at all because you are offering a) champagne, b) a signature cocktail and c)non-alcoholic drinks, so it kind of makes it a non-issue.  Granted, I can’t answer your original question about the regional thing, but I would say don’t sweat it!

    Post # 69
    Member
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I went to a wedding with an open bar and everyone definitely took advantage of that and got completely trashed. Had it been beer, wine, signature cocktail, I think these guests would have gotten tipsy, but probably not trashed. These were groomsmen doing shots, cousins downing Jack & Cokes like they were going out of style, etc.

    I’m offering beer and wine, enough to accomodate 3-4 drinks per person on the guest list… more than enough IMO.

    Post # 70
    Member
    2066 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’m answering the original question (not addressing the “commentary” that other posters have provided).

    I got married in Houston and had a full open bar.  Our venue was one of the few in Houston with a Liquor Locker License – basically a grandfathered liquor license making it cheaper to serve liquor than beer or wine.  (We had to buy liquor by the bottle at wholesale prices from our venue, but we had to pay retail prices for beer and wine).  We had a full open bar because it was cheaper than been and wine.

    I do not like cash bars (my opinion) because I think its rude to ask guests to pay for things.  And I’m not expecting a cash bar, and since I don’t carry much cash (especially in a tiny purse), I’d need to leave to find an ATM if I wanted a cocktail.  Much more of a headache.  

    If you don’t have the budget for an open bar, go with your original idea of champagne to toast with and a signature drink.  If you can afford it, have two signature drinks or beer and a signature drink (just to give your guests an option).  

    I’m sure your wedding will be lovely – ignore all the rude commentary from previous posters.

    Post # 71
    Member
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    @MightySapphire: For someone who seems to throw around debate verbology, your logic is terribly flawed.

    I don’t know if have some obsession with “winning” but I clearly explained the problem in your logic.

    (1) It isn’t “your responsibility” to provide alcohol.  Thus it cannot be “pushed to the guests” since it does not exist in the first place.(2) None of my guests seemed to have such a problem with fine motor skills that they were “clumsily” pulling money out of their pocket to pay for the liquor that wasn’t included.(3) It isn’t my problem if someone doesn’t carry money on their person.  If they know it will be a cash bar, no sympathy from me.  Go find an ATM.

    OK.  So the problem is that you had a cash bar and you identify with it.  This argument is a way to validate your decision and thus yourself.  I’m sure your wedding was wonderful and special and fantastic.  However, I’m talking about cash bars in general.

    Do you go to wedding assuming a cash bar?  Because I don’t and the vast majority (over 94%) of the respondents to this thread agree with me.  These days, not many people walk around with large quantities of cash (what – $50 to $100 for two people to drink for then night?)  How are you going to tell them to bring money?  Write “Cash Bar” on the invitation?  No, that’s not inappropriate at all.  You’ve got no way to signal to guests that they need to bring cash.  And “…no sympathy from me…” – fantastic mindset for a host.  

    See (1) above.  You have pretty much proven that you believe alcohol IS required, even if not in all situations.  So if there exists a WIC, and it does create attitudes, you have it.

    OK, so two things you don’t understand in the previous argument:  (1) my argument is that a cash bar is tacky.  That’s what we’re debating.  (2) Clearly you don’t understand latent relationships.  It’s how marketing firms work.  They force a mindset then from that mindset assume certain actions will flow that benefit their product.  The mindset that you’re not a host but that the wedding is an extension of you is the exact mindset that has lead to the $50,000 wedding. 

    Actually my composition logic is true, since the imaginary rules you are talking about refer to “etiquette.”  Etiquette is defined as “conventional requirements as to social behavior; proprieties of conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion.”

    No, this is false logic.  You’re saying that if one rule is broken, all rules are invalid.  By that logic, I could say that if I don’t extend an “and guest” to my single guests, then I am able to institute a cover charge for my reception.  I mean since one rule is broken, now all are bunk.

    It directly follows from your argument that since the bride and groom are paying for the wedding, the guests shouldn’t be fed. After all, that’s expensive.  Think of the direct corollary:  which of these are acceptable and which are tacky?

    1. Four course seated reception dinner for all guests
    2. Appetizer only reception for all guests
    3. Food for purchase available in the corner of the reception room. 

     

    Would anyone ever seriously consider having food for purchase available at a wedding?  Come on.  If you can’t afford to feed someone a full meal, that’s fine.  Offer them just some appetizers and schedule the wedding between lunch and dinner.  But it’s not “courteous” to have a guy in the back selling food in case guests want more.

    Furthermore, I don’t recall Emily Post every writing an article about how awful you are to provide a location where your guests may obtain liquor, free or otherwise.

    Because it’s assumed as common courtesy.  And, yes, it is common.  Look at the poll at the top of this thread. 

    Post # 72
    Member
    937 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    The poll at the top of this thread only shows that a whopping 36 people voted. It doesn’t take into account the people like myself who didn’t vote (because I’ve never been to a wedding in Houston)- but nevertheless don’t see a problem with the OP having a cash bar- for whatever her reason. 

    The OP didn’t ask you to jump onto your soapbox and chastize her for having a cash bar. She actually prefaced her post by saying that she wasn’t asking whether or not anyone thought it was tacky– the question was “is a cash bar COMMON for HOUSTON weddings?”

    I vote to close the thread.

     

     

    Post # 73
    Member
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @CoffeeHound:   I’m pretty sure I get what you think by now.

    No, I didn’t have a cash bar at my wedding.  We had an open bar which was limited to specific liquors plus unlimited signature cocktails plus champagne, plus wine.  I saw a few people pulling out credit cards and asked them why since we had a full selection.  Apparently the premium liquors were not available with my open bar.  So we had whiskey but not single malt scotch.  Some guests CHOSE to pay for the premium liquor.  I suppose I could have told the venue to pretend they didn’t have any of these items so that my guests wouldn’t feel obligated to pay for something that wasn’t covered, but I offered plenty of options, so I don’t feel bad.  If I offer a bar with all the most common liquors, and you want some super high end liquor, you can pay for that.  Why should I?

    I don’t have an issue with “winning.”  We all know what they say about internet arguments anyway.  In any case Hive, I’m out of food.

    Post # 75
    Member
    350 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    @MightySapphire: If a guest takes the initiative to ask for something not offered, that’s one thing, but having a cash register at the reception is totally different.   You never answer the question of whether or not it would be tacky to have a “a la carte” menu at a wedding where guests paid for their own food.

     

    @evalague: Not everyone that disagrees is a troll, madam. 

    The topic ‘HOUSTON brides – Cash Bar?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors